Did they have a casting call for "Negro Willing To Rap with White House Official"?

Toe jam grabs the lead in the Pallenberg-Leprosy Showdown!

All right, folks. It's late Tuesday night. And you know what that means. AMERICAN IDOL, BITCHES!

Tonight's guest mentor: Tony Bennett. His usual suave self, gave the advice one would expect from him: lose the frills, tell the story, don't act like such a total whore...HALEY, that sort of thing. Nothing egregious there.

THE GOOD:

Blake did the Blitzstein lyric of "Mack the Knife." Was properly campy, but put across the fact that this is indeed a song about a serial killer. Wasn't too Ratpacky about it, you know? Charity, a devoted Brecht-Weill fan from way back, finds all renditions of this version of the song an affront, but allowed that he sold it.

Melinda did a typically solid "I Got Rhythm." Sounded fabulous, and for perhaps the first time, looked pretty hot. Honestly, the show needs her more than she needs the show. Her contract with Sony/BMG has no doubt already been drawn up.

Jordin is still surprisingly solid. I still have her pegged for final three, and were I the kind of guy who counts the seconds until certain jailbaity teens were of legal age, I would be doing so for her.

THE MEH:

Lakisha, Timberfake and Fake Rockstar remain moderately talented and boring as fuck.

THE BAD:

Phil is finally going home this week. He sang "Night and Day" in a bizarrely creepy monotone that made him sound like the world's hippest zombie, and he also gave the most bizarre soul-sista head waggle at one point that made Charity start and yelp so bad that Angus the Scottish Ninja Kitty leapt six feet across the room onto the other sofa.

Haley gave the most clueless version of "Ain't Misbehavin'" ever. I believe she thought she was being ironic, but this was bar none the most utterly whorish proclamation of monogamy ever, including at one point basically a full-fledged invitation for anal sex. It was just plain frightening. However, she didn't suck quite as much as Phil, so she's got one more week.

THE SANJAYA:

Devilishly, our South Asian friend threw all expectation out the door by NOT being a giant wad of suck with a freakish hairstyle. He did an entirely adequate "Cheek To Cheek" while dressed as the charming cad from a Bollywood romance. Or, as Charity put it: "Look! It's the third Mael brother!" This will be interesting, because by being merely average, he's not going to have as many of the snark-voters. While it's clear that he's the weakest singer of the lot technically, I'm thinking he's potentially got an actual career ahead of him. I'm thinking sitcoms.

Almost certainly going home: Phil "Bat Boy" Stacey

Wouldn't be surprised: Haley "The Fleet's In" Scarnato

Would be surprised but not displeased: Gina "Fake Rockstar" Glocksen

Yes! Thank you Great 48 for the awesome recap of the night;) I loved it!!!

I wish I'd known Tony Bennett was going to be on. He's Instant Entertainment for me. Nice recap, Great One.

Re: Big Choice Poll --

Hey, I want to add a category to vote for:

- Keef's Fake Teef