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RTH Labs Survey: Rock Beards
2007-06-21 | by hrrundivbakshi ![[mail]](img/envelope.gif)
Worse
Folks, the chuckles we've been getting out of EPG's dismissive "singin' through your beard" references have forced the RTH Labs to ponder: Does the growing of a Rock Beard always signal a turn for the creative worse? After numerous meetings, internal research notes, and PowerPoint presentations, my colleagues in the white lab coats say there's only one way to find out. We need your help!
Here's what you must do: think of a rock/soul personality who conspicuously grew a beard at some point in their career. Review their creative output prior to the arrival of their neck-felt, and compare it with what came after. Ask yourself this simple question: Did things get better or worse?
NOTE: The goal of this exercise is not to ascertain whether there are any quality bearded rockers out there. We are trying to determine whether the arrival of a beard portends creative flaccidity. Here are a few analyses to get you started:
- Eric Clapton: WORSE.
- Bon Scott: WORSE.
- Robert Plant: WORSE.
I look forward to your responses.
16 comments
Comment from: mrclean [Member] 
I'm not sure the various beards David Bowie tried on over the years helped his music any. But maybe his wife Iman is his most enduring "beard"...Boom Crash! - Thanks, I'll be here all week. Please remember to tip your waiters and bartenders...
Semi-related aside: I'm reminded of the comment my wife made about the bearded Michael McDonald of Doobie Brother fame. "He sounds like he has a lump of pudding in his throat!"...
Carry on.
Semi-related aside: I'm reminded of the comment my wife made about the bearded Michael McDonald of Doobie Brother fame. "He sounds like he has a lump of pudding in his throat!"...
Carry on.
2007-06-21 @ 11:29
Comment from: Mr. Moderator [Member]
Bearded Morrison, if you ask me, did the finer work than clean-shaven Morrison. I know we joke about fat, bearded Jim, but give me Morrison Hotel and L.A. Woman over all of his pretty-boy releases any day.
That reminds me of the one great regret of my trip to NYC to see The Fab Faux last night, which I'll report on when I have time: My wife spotted Kyle MacLachlan walking in SoHo. I missed him, only getting to catch a look at him from the back. His hair was shoulder length and dyed, presumably, chestnut brown. God, from the little bit I got to see he looked so much like MacLachlan as Ray Manzarek. I was severely bummed that I missed the opportunity to walk up to him and ask, "Are you Ray Manzarek?"
That reminds me of the one great regret of my trip to NYC to see The Fab Faux last night, which I'll report on when I have time: My wife spotted Kyle MacLachlan walking in SoHo. I missed him, only getting to catch a look at him from the back. His hair was shoulder length and dyed, presumably, chestnut brown. God, from the little bit I got to see he looked so much like MacLachlan as Ray Manzarek. I was severely bummed that I missed the opportunity to walk up to him and ask, "Are you Ray Manzarek?"
2007-06-21 @ 11:37
Comment from: andyr [Member]
What about Costello? He had a beard for "Mighty Like a Turd" - 'nuff said
2007-06-21 @ 11:49
Comment from: meanstom [Member]
The beard opened the doors for George Harrison's best efforts. Bearded Harrison = Better.
2007-06-21 @ 12:39
Comment from: hrrundivbakshi [Member]
Townsman Meanstom: we *reach*! I was thinking exactly the same thing at lunch today. Mind you, you clearly lack the BALLS to make the following related observations:
John Lennon: WORSE
Paul McCartney: WORSE
Ringo Starr: ABOUT THE SAME/WHO CARES
John Lennon: WORSE
Paul McCartney: WORSE
Ringo Starr: ABOUT THE SAME/WHO CARES
2007-06-21 @ 14:35
Comment from: meanstom [Member]
Don't bring balls into this discussion, Mr. Lab Coat. Past a certain time, Lennon and McCartney did plenty of bad stuff with and without beards. The beards themselves were not turning points in their work, as they were for Harrison, in the positive, or Clapton, in the negative. There must be times when the beard does not play a determining role in an artist's output, don't you agree?
2007-06-21 @ 14:57
Comment from: hrrundivbakshi [Member]
Hey, Meanstom: seriously, let's think about the Beatles beard chronology for a moment. When did Lennon's chin hair fisrt sprout? Don't count the Sgt. Pepper mutton shops, either, buddy! Abbey Road? Certainly, as a proportional equation, his work sucked ass after that LP. I feel safe laying the blame at the feet of his beard. For Macca, it was "Let It Be," right? Let's see, his contributions to that album were okay, but... come on, he was starting to devolve into his Wings persona by then, wasn't he?
I'l grant a question mark for Paulie's beard, but the verdict on Lennon stays.
By the way:
Pete Townshend: ?
I'l grant a question mark for Paulie's beard, but the verdict on Lennon stays.
By the way:
Pete Townshend: ?
2007-06-21 @ 15:08
Comment from: Mr. Moderator [Member]
I've been thinking about Townshend. I don't think the beard slowed him down. In fact, I've been thinking about a larger issue with The Who: They started out making great singles and mostly crap albums. (Beside Sell Out their early albums are inevitably weighed down by things like putrid James Brown and Motown covers.) In the few years following Tommy, their singles output suffered, but they released their best albums. Did the beard actually improve Townshend's album-making skills while hindering his single-crafting ones?
2007-06-21 @ 15:15
Comment from: hrrundivbakshi [Member]
E. Pluribus Gergley agrees --
Brian Jones: WORSE
Brian Jones: WORSE
2007-06-21 @ 20:18
Comment from: sally_cinnamon [Member]
I would like to know where Bob Dylan is on this scale... it seems like he gets better with the beard, and then worse as he gets older and shaves it off, but then again - who can tell. He's off and on, I guess. Is one style of beard better or worse - does size really matter? ;)
The Man in Black only went beard once ever that I've seen - for The Last Gunfighter Ballad. Disaster strikes! = Worse.
The Man in Black only went beard once ever that I've seen - for The Last Gunfighter Ballad. Disaster strikes! = Worse.
2007-06-21 @ 20:44
Comment from: Mr. Moderator [Member]
I often forget that Dylan sports a beard now and then. Do wispy beards even count?
2007-06-22 @ 08:12
Brian Jones' beard was more a reaction to the heap of shit Brian certainly earned that the world heaved upon his shoulders. Keith stealing his girlfren'. Mick and Keith stealing his band. The cops stealing his dope. Bill Wyman stealing the underage girl vote.
Hell, the only thing Brian could do better than any other Rolling Stone at that point was grow a beard and play sitar, two skills which no one pays money for. At least Brian looked like an adult with a beard, and not like some freakish fourteen year old Amish boy that grew a patchy beard that made everyone but his mother afraid of him, like Mick.
But worst Rolling Stone facial hair ever is that smudge of grease currently under Keith's nose. God, that's creepy.
Hell, the only thing Brian could do better than any other Rolling Stone at that point was grow a beard and play sitar, two skills which no one pays money for. At least Brian looked like an adult with a beard, and not like some freakish fourteen year old Amish boy that grew a patchy beard that made everyone but his mother afraid of him, like Mick.
But worst Rolling Stone facial hair ever is that smudge of grease currently under Keith's nose. God, that's creepy.
2007-06-22 @ 11:00
Comment from: Mr. Moderator [Member]
Good points, 2000 Man. Post-Brian - or maybe even with him, because let's face it, a blond beard ain't that happening no matter how thick it is - the Stones may have the worst track record in terms of rock facial hair. Has any other band been, as a whole, less successful at growing effective facial hair? Watts had that mustache for a while, right, which was pretty good. Other than that? Nothing!
2007-06-22 @ 11:14
Comment from: Mr. Moderator [Member]
So Hrrundi, what have you and RTH Labs concluded from this investigation? Is there a relationship between the growing of a beard and the quality of output? Is the sample size too small? Any limitations to this study worth noting? Is there a more entertaining photo than that Jagger shot you found?
Did anything change in ZZ Top's beard grooming when they started to suck even for you? By the way, my man Sethro picked up one of their classic albums the other day and is digging it. He wanted you to know. The album's called Deguello or something like that.
Did anything change in ZZ Top's beard grooming when they started to suck even for you? By the way, my man Sethro picked up one of their classic albums the other day and is digging it. He wanted you to know. The album's called Deguello or something like that.
2007-06-23 @ 06:46
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