FRIDAY FLASHBACK! Musical Opinions Gone Wrong in the Real World

By Mr. Moderator on Aug 29, 2008

While we're slappin' five over musical highlights from the Summer of 2008, I was reminded of this old thread, one that examines the other side of the anticipated high five. Let's call this phenomenon Musical Opinions Go Wrong in the Real World. For those of you who weren't around when this first ran, maybe you've got your own examples of Musical Opinions Go Wrong in the Real World. For those of you who shared the first time around, maybe you've got some new experiences to share since then.

This post initially appeared 10/16/07.

For those of you who've spent some time here at Rock Town Hall you've probably taken for granted the freedom to express your musical opinions freely, sometimes even pompously, without shame. In fact, here in the Halls of Rock, a bold and well-pitched expression of an opinion on a band, song, album, or genre can be met with delight and a round of electronic high-fives. In fact, more than a few of you over the years have expressed thanks for the dynamic we afford such passionate thoughts on the music we love. You're welcome!

In the "real world," however, some of these opinions we harbor are not met with as much anticipation and support. Who hasn't been asked for an opinion on a band in work or at a party that's not populated by fellow rock nerds and forgotten to bite his or her tongue, or at least temper a response?

"Do you like Meat Loaf?" a well-meaning colleague may ask me on any given day, knowing that I am a music lover and probably seeking some approval from an "expert."

Follow up:

"I can't stand that fat fuck!" I want to blurt out, and then launch into a tirade on the time a girlfriend dragged me to see Rocky Horror Picture Show. But I think better of it and say something meaningfully tame, like "Nah, I'm not a fan of his music."

Usually...

Every few years - the frequency has stretched out as I've matured - I fail to hold back, and I lash out at an innocent, casual music fan with an opinion and tone that I quickly regret. A long time ago I met some "normal" people at a party who found out I played in a band. They perked up and asked me if I liked another local band from that era, our city's answer to a better known psychobilly band. This is about 2 minutes into our being introduced. I clearly remember, in fact, that we were still standing in the doorway of the home where the party was being held.

"I fucking hate that band!" I howled. The poor couple was driven back against the wall. My wife wisely abandoned me, letting me dangle as the couple quickly searched for a coat closet, a drink, whatever. It was a shameful performance on my part.

I'm pretty sure I'm not alone in having acted this way, in having expressed my true musical opinions in the absolutely worst setting possible. I know you have your own tales to tell. Let's hear them!

Comment from: mwall [Member] Email
When I was in grad school in the later 80s, I remember being out a bar one evening with people I've long since forgotten, and saying "U2 sucks." And a woman at the table, with a genuinely shocked expression, said, "I can't believe you said that. I've never heard anybody say that."

I didn't feel that bad about it, but I didn't become friends with those folks either, seeing as I can barely remember them.
10/16/07 @ 21:43
Comment from: the great 48 [Member] Email
I once literally made someone cry because I rather forcefully stated my negative opinion of Jeff Buckley.
10/16/07 @ 22:05
Comment from: dbuskirk [Member] Email
That KSAN interview with the Sex Pistols, just hours before they broke up, is great. One caller thinks he's got Johnny Rotten's negative attitude trumped when he says "You don't think Jeff Beck is a great musician?" The caller is beside himself when Rotten cuts Beck down.
10/16/07 @ 23:36
Comment from: Mr. Moderator [Member]
You're among friends, Townspeople. These events are all in the past. You've got a handle on your rock opinions these days. YOu've got a "safe haven" to cut loose. Don't be afraid to share.
10/17/07 @ 05:59
Comment from: shawnkilroy [Member] Email
i've alienated everyone in my family at least twice in this fashion, with subjects ranging from R.E.M. to Chumbawumba to Skynyrd.
10/17/07 @ 09:15
Comment from: mockcarr [Member] Email
MWall, I had a very similar story happen to me at a bar as well. Some young in-town-for-a-conference dude struck up a conversation with me at my local and would not accept that anyone could hate U2 until I broke them down into their component distasteful parts, with heavy emphasis on Bono douchebaggery. I've even been coerced to see them play, so he couldn't pull that "they kick ass live" horseshit on me like Springsteen fans do. In fact, he may have brought up Bruce after that! It could have been the Grateful Dead... I resisted bringing up his likely extensive Meloncramp and Seegar collections; I can't drink enough beer to make that discussion worthwhile. But what would be the point in totally alienating a source of free Kasteel?
10/17/07 @ 10:09
Comment from: mockcarr [Member] Email
I spent the better part of high school and college shovelling poo against the tide that was Springsteen. As if it's mandatory to worship him if you are from New Jersey. Oh, and there was NO FUCKING TURNPIKE EXIT near wher I lived, OK?

"Hey, man, how can you NOT like The Boss?"
"If he's the boss, I quit."

Over and over. Repeat when necessary.
10/17/07 @ 10:17
Comment from: mwall [Member] Email
But what would be the point in totally alienating a source of free Kasteel?


Now there's an interesting sub-thread. How much bad music, or bad music taste in a friend, is bearable when the issue is quality beer, and for free too?
10/17/07 @ 11:19
Comment from: Mr. Moderator [Member]
Mwall asked:
How much bad music, or bad music taste in a friend, is bearable when the issue is quality beer, and for free too?

Good question, indeed. No beer, per se, was ever enough to make me sit through music I didn't like, but I'd been known to hang out in rooms with live Dead boots, Rush, and Genesis to reach a higher power.
10/17/07 @ 15:48
Comment from: shawnkilroy [Member] Email
even low quality beer.
I sat through Mahavishnu for weed.
10/18/07 @ 08:25
Comment from: mwall [Member] Email
I'm enjoying this thread and sub-thread. We're almost on the verge of: what was the moment in your life when you most compromised your musical values for some other purpose. Getting wasted, getting it on, getting paid, all strike me as possibilities here, but there may be others.
10/18/07 @ 09:38
Comment from: Mr. Moderator [Member]
If you don't mind, Mwall, I'm moving your fine question to the Main Stage!
10/18/07 @ 10:55
Comment from: general slocum [Member] Email
Ah, yes. I find myself sabotaged by my psyche into being the Bull in the Opinion Shop. I am usually non-apologetic, and find, as often as not, that people roll with the conversation. They'll go on liking, say, Springsteen, but they don't generally get indignant when I tell them what it was like, in the dark days when Springsteen ruled the earth. Guys I worked with used to say, "He sings about me, or things like my life, and what I know." They had little room back then to hear how I was pretty sure no one had ever "strapped their hands 'cross my engines," but that I could relate the the DK's "Stealing Peoples' Mail."

And, of course, how much of my early days was spent seeking out music which specifically referenced nothing I knew? From Enoch Light to Schoenberg, bring it on, boys, I've had plenty of "what I know."

Also, Mod, there's the idea that what made that couple retreat in horror could have as much to do with your having tipped your hand immediately as someone with any strong idea whatsoever. It may be my bias talking, but when a lot of people say they love U2, they say it in the way they might love, say, cantaloupe with prosciutto appetizers. Yum. But if you want to get all "here's why they blow," well, man, you're just bringing the whole party down. Being a musician, hell even just an avid fan, is sometimes viewed as being one step above Conspiracy Theorist, socially.
08/29/08 @ 02:57
Comment from: diskojoe [Member] Email
I really don't get into those kinda things. I just shrug or be polite. Life's too short. But the exact opposite happened to me. When I was at Emerson College in the early '80s, I bought a copy of the Kinks Are The Village Green Preservation Society as a birthday gift to a friend. I was playing it in her room when one of her friends walked in. She listened to it & said, "It sounds like the Beatles, I hate it". The last I heard she was working at a "classic rock" station.
08/29/08 @ 09:23
Comment from: mockcarr [Member] Email
Yeah, THAT sounds like proper karma.

A long time ago, I had a girlfriend who had a really stiff, uptight friend she'd invite over occasionally. I was playing some angryish stuff on a boom box, in fact, it may have even been a cassette of something Hrrundi and I were working up - and Miss Anal Von Type A said, "Oh, I can't listen to any music that isn't about love.

Wha? Hunh? sez I in my mind. Shut me up for a good hour.

Actually, that's pretty easy to do.

08/29/08 @ 12:26
Comment from: cdm [Member] Email
When I was bartending in SF in the early 90s, I almost kicked a guy out of the bar for insisting that Stevie Ray Vaughn was the “greatest blues guitar player ever.”
08/29/08 @ 12:27
Comment from: latelydavidband [Member] Email
Maybe I should have saved my Ben Lee rap for this thread.

I do have a musical gripe, though. This is from my beloved wife: "Why don't you play music that I know. I like to hear music that I know." I think this is the dumbest response to hearing new music. I understand liking to hear music that you are familiar with. Turn your brain off and sing along. But at some point, you have never heard music. We are not born with a musical implant that allows us to "know" certain songs by certain artists. I think this translates to "Play something like they play on the radio. I need for the radio to tell me what to like." I buy new music all time. Music that I don't know. I listen to it. If I like it, chances are, I will listen to it again. Pretty soon, I "know" it. I just remember a time that I hadn't heard "Strawberry Fields Forever". I had to hear it first before I knew it. I hate playing music that I "know" all the time.

People love to make general sweeping remarks all the time about music or musicians. Those people are ususally idiots. Mine is the only musical opinion that counts. Mine and yours, of course.

TB
08/29/08 @ 16:04

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