Pop Rocks & Coke: "The Clash" Say Cut the Crap!
By Mikey on Nov 5, 2007
The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated. So have the reports that I hate everything. Unless of course we're talking about this steaming piece of crap, appropriately titled Cut The Crap. Cut the Crap indeed.
Like my brave sampling of Life Cereal I took it upon myself to bravely purchase, listen to and do everything possible to find the light in the tunnel of "The Clash's" last official release.
I'm a Strummer man. Always have been. Always will be. The Clash without Jones couldn't be that bad, could it? Couldn't be worse than Bad Audio Dynamite, could it?
You have no idea how much I wanted to find some gems in here to wave in your holier-than-thou faces. "Conventional wisdom" has it this album bites. And the lot of you gulp this second hand wisdom shit down without boldly going yourself. Conventional wisdom IS The Man. Fuck conventional wisdom. Fuck The Man! Let me hear it, I'll judge for myself.
Sadly I have been put in my place. Conventional wisdom (CW) has made me his bitch. Those of you who took CW at its word have saved yourself time, effort, money, and dignity. This album = the sound of your post-coffee BM trudging and struggling its way down your far-past-due-for-rooting plumbing.
Please accept my apology. I too should have swallowed this CW shit. I fought The Man, and The Man won. Allow my suffering to enlighten you on this travesty without soiling your own fine footwear.
Here's the closest thing to gems I could find. That is to say that these are as good as it gets. I might be able to find some tracks on Combat Rock that I like less but, I just showered this Crap off me and don't want to have to Bactine-swab my nipple-ring holes again:
Follow up:
Now I Know Why Travis Bickle Went Off The Deepend
You know how "Buy The Album" on iTunes is traditonally $9.99? Well this one was $7.99 which is $8.99 too much. Here's the rest of it. I took it upon myself to embelish the song names (in parens) to better reflect the true nature of the tracks. Put on rubber gloves, hold your nose, and feel free to pick thru the feces in search of any evidence of The Clash.
Dictator (Did You Mean Dickslapper?)
We Are the Clash (No You're Not)
Are You Red..Y (For What Exactly? This Song? Then No.)
Cool Under Heat (I'm Sorry, Did You Say Something?)
Movers and Shakers (Bowel Movers That Is)
Three Card Trick (That Sucks w/o The 4th Card You Kicked Out)
Play to Win (Indeed)
Fingerpoppin' (Sphinctersnappin')
North and South (I Think I'll Go East and West, Thanks Anyway)
Life Is Wild (And So Are Dung Beetles)
You might want to get some of this:
It Does Too Sting
Fuck You "Clash" For Creating This Stain On Your Legacy! But...I love you so much that I forgive you. How about I put London Calling on and we can spoon?
26 comments
Comment from: Mr. Moderator [Member]
Mikey, I'm gonna have to kick your ass for poppin' my Cut the Crap cherry. In my role as Moderator I felt it necessary to sample most of these songs for the first time in my life. I need a Bactine enema.
11/04/07 @ 20:56
Comment from: sammymaudlin [Member]
I need a Bactine enema.
Yeah, that's gonna sting.
11/04/07 @ 21:01
Comment from: mrclean [Member] 
Um...I don't own this but still have a confession to make. I'm ashamed to say that the only time I saw the Clash live was the tour for this LP. At the Philadelphia Spectrum. It was awful. I'm sorry Joe, this was not a pretty way to end it.
Any Philly peeps see them at the Penn Ice Rink years before? I can't believe I missed that one (if reports of it being a good show are true).
Any Philly peeps see them at the Penn Ice Rink years before? I can't believe I missed that one (if reports of it being a good show are true).
11/04/07 @ 22:39
Comment from: Mr. Moderator [Member]
Andyr and I saw them at the Penn Ice Rink. Was it the Sandinista tour or Combat Rock? I think it was Combat Rock - Topper may have been gone by then. It's a bit of a haze. It was a pretty good show, but considering I was primed to see Jesus and his apostles, I was let down a bit. The biggest problem with the show was that Mick Jones was a fairly terrible guitarist, especially on the atmospheric album cuts from Sandinista and Combat Rock. Not bad, but not what I was hoping for. A-Dogg, do you remember differently?
Would you believe that as I type, with the Cowboys-Eagles blowout on in the background, The Clash's version of "Pressure Drop" just played on a Nissan ad?
Would you believe that as I type, with the Cowboys-Eagles blowout on in the background, The Clash's version of "Pressure Drop" just played on a Nissan ad?
11/04/07 @ 22:46
Comment from: Mr. Moderator [Member]
Psst...Hey Mrclean, have you seen this, from a fellow Townsperson's blog:
http://www.settingthewoodsonfire.com/2007/11/obscure-punk-rock-band.html
Pretty cool. I remember hearing about this guy way back when.
http://www.settingthewoodsonfire.com/2007/11/obscure-punk-rock-band.html
Pretty cool. I remember hearing about this guy way back when.
11/05/07 @ 00:09
Comment from: andyr [Member]
I saw them both tours - The Penn Ice Rink which was for "Combat Rock" and then at GW for "Cut The Crap".
Your right, Mr Mod - the Penn show was only OK. First off, it was for Combat Rock, 'nuff said. Second, it was Terry Chimes, and third, don't you remember being CRUSHED in the initial surge when The Clash came on? We were up front against a plywood barrier. Don't you remember Jeff M being pulled out of the audience cause he couldn't hack the crowds?
The only cool thing about the GW show was seeing Joe at a really small hotel-bar the night before and going up to him all fan-boy like (think Chris Farley-Paul McCartney)The show itself sucked as you can imagine. ChickenFrank -do you remember the show?
Your right, Mr Mod - the Penn show was only OK. First off, it was for Combat Rock, 'nuff said. Second, it was Terry Chimes, and third, don't you remember being CRUSHED in the initial surge when The Clash came on? We were up front against a plywood barrier. Don't you remember Jeff M being pulled out of the audience cause he couldn't hack the crowds?
The only cool thing about the GW show was seeing Joe at a really small hotel-bar the night before and going up to him all fan-boy like (think Chris Farley-Paul McCartney)The show itself sucked as you can imagine. ChickenFrank -do you remember the show?
11/05/07 @ 09:04
Comment from: Mr. Moderator [Member]
I remember being crushed, but I wanted to keep the focus on the music, mannnnnn, not my personal space. Had we moved to a safe spot and saw a great show, my feelings on the show would not have been affected by that initial scare.
11/05/07 @ 09:32
Comment from: mrclean [Member]
Hey Mrclean, have you seen this...
Thanks. Nice to see it and get mentioned. I've had that info a bit buried on the DM site for years:
http://www.deadmilkmen.com/?page_id=18
Heh...how about this obscure page:
http://www.deadmilkmen.com/?page_id=23
11/05/07 @ 09:35
Comment from: Mr. Moderator [Member]
Show of hands: who's been downloading these cuts to their iPods?
11/05/07 @ 10:42
Comment from: 2000 Man [Member]
Show of hands: who's been downloading these cuts to their iPods?
Not me. My brother the Clash fanatic already subjected me to this. Blech.
I've always thought the term "conventional wisdom" meant "wrong," but in this case I guess it's not. This album shouldn't even be in print digitally. Those files should have set themselves to self destruct the minute they were compiled and the computer noticed just how bad that crap was going to sound.
11/05/07 @ 12:09
Comment from: hrrundivbakshi [Member]
I was thinking last night that if Joe Strummer and Paul Simonon had just released a single of "This Is England" -- a radio edit on side A and a dub freakout version on side B -- and caled it quits, the critic community would've called them geniuses for the classy, high-quality exit statement. Kind of like a full-circle kind of thing, starting off -- and finally ending -- as angry, intelligent punks, raging against the system. 'Cause that one song is pretty strong, I think.
On a related note, I was also thinkin' that "Goodbye Cream" would've made an excellent single -- with "Badge" on the A and "Sitting On Top Of the World" on the B. The rest of that album can throw itself into the garbage, but those two songs are awesome!
On a related note, I was also thinkin' that "Goodbye Cream" would've made an excellent single -- with "Badge" on the A and "Sitting On Top Of the World" on the B. The rest of that album can throw itself into the garbage, but those two songs are awesome!
11/05/07 @ 12:31
Mr. Clean. I'm very excited that you checked out the post. (And glad you liked it). I think my first exposure to the DM came right about the time that the Walewander stuff happened in Detroit, so it made me a bigger fan of both the band and the player.
11/05/07 @ 13:08
Comment from: Mr. Moderator [Member]
Interesting thought, Hrrundi. Beside The Jam, has any other band consciously released the "classy, high-quality exit statement" single? Joy Division's "Love Will Tear Us Apart", for instance, does not count, because at best only one member might have had it in mind as a send-off single.
11/05/07 @ 15:12
Interesting thought, Hrrundi. Beside The Jam, has any other band consciously released the "classy, high-quality exit statement" single? Joy Division's "Love Will Tear Us Apart", for instance, does not count, because at best only one member might have had it in mind as a send-off single.
You think "Beat Surrender" is high-quality? Really? Does "Time of the Season" by The Zombies count? I'm asking because I don't think it was even released in the UK as a single and it became a hit a year later (1969) in the U.S.
I'm not sure what The Smiths' last single release was, but they definitely went out on a high note album-wise with Strangeways Here We Come.
As for Cut the Crap (one of the most appropriate titles for an album ever, given its content) , I own it on vinyl and I thought it was so bad after only 1 listen that I've never listened to it since (until today). I remember all of it sucking the better part of my ass, but upon listening to "This is England" again, I'm inclined to agree with hrrundi. I still think it (and the rest of the album) is lyrically weak, not to mention the egregious musical sins involved here. I think this album could've at least been decent if it was mixed better. In reality Bernie Rhodes (not Strummer) should be blamed as he essentially neutered this record with synth flourishes and horrible synth bass (or at least that's what it sounds like).
Of the other tracks, I thought "Dirty Punk" was actually pretty decent (and "Movers and Shakers" is somewhat listenable since it contains less of that digital ramalama than most of the rest of the tracks), but after listening to 4 or 5 more songs, I've found little else to like here. Either way, I am glad I have this in digital format now, though I'll have to pare it down to mp3 (I hate lossless or near-lossless files).
I feel like I'll need a shower, though.
With that said, Sparks did a GREAT cover of "We are the Clash" that almost redeemed the song for me. It was on an Uncut Clash covers CD. I can put it up if anyone wants to hear it.
11/05/07 @ 17:17
Comment from: Mr. Moderator [Member]
I'm not thrilled about "Beat Surrender", but it is a classy, conscious send-off single. It's not a bad song, and it definitely beats having Weller turn the band called The Jam into The Style Council and going out with that slap-bass, British pouffy shirt crap that he would foster.
No, the last Zombies single was a coincidental final release, more like an afterthought. The operative word here is "conscious."
The Supremes had a final single with Diana Ross. In the tv performance that kicked off the performance, I believe Diana "faded" off the stage while the remaining Supremes continued the legacy. A-Dogg recalls the details, I'm sure. THAT'S what I'm talking about.
No, the last Zombies single was a coincidental final release, more like an afterthought. The operative word here is "conscious."
The Supremes had a final single with Diana Ross. In the tv performance that kicked off the performance, I believe Diana "faded" off the stage while the remaining Supremes continued the legacy. A-Dogg recalls the details, I'm sure. THAT'S what I'm talking about.
11/05/07 @ 17:25
Comment from: alexmagic [Member]
The Miracles could have pulled off that kind of move – “We’ve Come Too Far To End It Now” was the first single off Smokey's last album with them, when I'm pretty sure they knew he was leaving, and would have been a hell of a going away song, but I think “I Can’t Stand To See You Cry” was actually the final Smokey/Miracles single. They definitely should have flipped those around, for the sakes of historical perspective and going out on top.
11/05/07 @ 20:05
Comment from: andyr [Member]
Yes - I think it was "Someday We'll be together". They where all on stage (Ed Sullivan?)together and Dianah Ross then was on a moveable stage and was whisked away. The Supremes did have another big hit w/o DR - "Up The Ladder to the Roof"
11/05/07 @ 21:03
Comment from: Al [Member]
Of course, on the studio recording of "Someday We'll Be Together", it was only Diana Ross with some non-Supremes backup singers. No Mary Wilson, no Cindy Birdsong. I think my dislike of Ross really kicked into high gear when I learned this. Probably unfair to blame her but, on the other hand, why not?!
11/05/07 @ 21:37
Of course, on the studio recording of "Someday We'll Be Together", it was only Diana Ross with some non-Supremes backup singers. No Mary Wilson, no Cindy Birdsong. I think my dislike of Ross really kicked into high gear when I learned this. Probably unfair to blame her but, on the other hand, why not?!
No, blame Berry Gordy for favoring her and thus giving The Supremes much of the best Motown material and later for favoring Diana over the others and grooming her for a solo career as well.
11/06/07 @ 09:53
Comment from: Mr. Moderator [Member]
Peeps, what's this about the other Supremes getting hosed, Berry Gordy "favoring" Diana Ross, and so forth. Is there anything in the works of Mary Wilson and Cindy Birdsong to suggest that Dawinian entertainment industry principles did not take their natural course?
11/06/07 @ 10:38
Comment from: BigSteve [Member]
Peeps, what's this about the other Supremes getting hosed, Berry Gordy "favoring" Diana Ross, and so forth. Is there anything in the works of Mary Wilson and Cindy Birdsong to suggest that Dawinian entertainment industry principles did not take their natural course?I would ask instead, what was it that Diana Ross had that warranted her being given the best songs at Motown? Her subsequent career hasn't exactly earned her auteur status.
11/06/07 @ 12:11
Comment from: the great 48 [Member]
Does the phrase "suck the chrome off a trailer hitch" mean anything to you?
She got the best songs and the most advantageous placement solely because she was Berry's mistress.
She got the best songs and the most advantageous placement solely because she was Berry's mistress.
11/06/07 @ 12:17
Comment from: Mr. Moderator [Member]
BigSteve, Diana Ross had a certain sexy-yet-plain vulnerability. She was the Mary Richards (the Mary Tyler Moore character) of Motown. No one suggested she was anything close to an auteur. One of these days I'll have to resume my defense of Diana Ross' work with the Supremes.
11/06/07 @ 13:05
Comment from: BigSteve [Member]
I have a sexy yet plain vulnerability too, and even I could have had a hit if I'd been given the backing track of Where Did Our Love Go? to sing over.
11/06/07 @ 13:16
Comment from: Rick Massimo [Member]
Personally, I consider my own vulnerability more plain-yet-sexy than sexy-yet-plain. Maybe that's my problem with Diana Ross. Sorry - Miss Ross.
But c'mon, Mr. Mod. Look at the relative positionings of The Supremes, Martha and the Vandellas and Mary Wells at the beginning of The Supremes' career. Look who got the best songs. Look who got the big TV appearances. Look who got the top-flight production. Look who FREAKING MOVED IN with Berry Gordy. And look at the result.
Need proof that's more in the grooves? "Nathan Jones," the first post-Diana Ross Supremes single. Absolutely fucking killer. Went to #16 - pretty freaking promising for a group who lost their lead singer. So naturally, right then is when Berry Gordy decided that what he really wanted to be doing was making movies. Starring Diana Ross.
But c'mon, Mr. Mod. Look at the relative positionings of The Supremes, Martha and the Vandellas and Mary Wells at the beginning of The Supremes' career. Look who got the best songs. Look who got the big TV appearances. Look who got the top-flight production. Look who FREAKING MOVED IN with Berry Gordy. And look at the result.
Need proof that's more in the grooves? "Nathan Jones," the first post-Diana Ross Supremes single. Absolutely fucking killer. Went to #16 - pretty freaking promising for a group who lost their lead singer. So naturally, right then is when Berry Gordy decided that what he really wanted to be doing was making movies. Starring Diana Ross.
11/06/07 @ 14:36
Comment from: Mr. Moderator [Member]
Dudes, you're gonna continue dissing Diana Ross' contributions to the Supremes because of Berry Gordy's taste in women? Lame! Get over it. He scored Diana Ross and helped make her a star. If she couldn't have delivered, no amount of Gordy Power could have put her over the top.
11/06/07 @ 14:49
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