I swear this is not an Onion piece, nor am I making it up. A must-read for every Sting-questioning rock fan! Click here to check it out!

"I am well aware of the Uzbek president's appalling reputation in the field of human rights as well as the environment. I made the decision to play there in spite of that. I have come to believe that cultural boycotts are not only pointless gestures, they are counter-productive, where proscribed states are further robbed of the open commerce of ideas and art and as a result become even more closed, paranoid and insular."

Previously.

Kenny G and Tiger in better times.

As a show of support for golfer Tiger Woods, rockin' golf enthusiasts Kenny G, Alice Cooper, and the members of Hootie and the Blowfish are uniting under the GolfRock banner to record a song in support of the golf legend. All proceeds from sales of the as-yet-composed song will benefit an organization supporting amateur golfers and caddies who aspire to one day affording the opportunity to develop a sex addiction.

Alice "wouldn't miss this for summer break."

The idea for this benefit started with Kenny G. "I spent many a summer as a caddy," recounts the saxophonist, "getting an up-close look at pro golfers and the country club tail at their disposal." G considered a career in golf, but as he puts it, "I had much better control of my embouchure than a 7-iron." With the troubles facing the embattled golf icon, G was concerned that the public scrutiny surrounding Woods would jeopardize the romantic opportunities for all golfers. "I called my golfing buddy Alice, and we agreed that something had to be done."

Cooper, who these days is nearly as well known for his short game on the links as he is for his shock-rock theatrics in concert, began furiously working his cell phone to recruit other artists to this cause. "Iggy, Flea, and Sheryl Crow are all but confirmed," said Cooper. "Wyclef Jean wants in, even though he's never played more than miniature golf!" Cooper says that Hootie's Darius Rucker is working some of country music's biggest stars. "Kenny and I figured Darius might be able to reach out to the likes of Jay-Z," laughs Cooper, "but it turns out he's got no pull in the hip-hop community."

Just read the news that Doug Fieger of The Knack died Sunday. I wasn't old enough to remember the war the rock press had with this band and its success, but I do remember "My Sharona." Later, when I fancied myself a student of the power pop genre, I discovered that first Knack record and all of its many gems.

So, the questions for you is this: Get The Knack or Knuke The Knack?

TB

NEXT: Rock Town Hall's Official Eulogy...

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Townsman Andyr, in the middle of his spiritual journey to the Holy Land of Jerusalem sent me this shocking photo from one of the world's most famous series of Stations of the Cross paintings. (I'm sorry I forget the name of the church, which he breathlessly relayed to me in an excited transcontinental call.) This is truly a miracle of Boss-like proportions...after the jump!

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This just in:

http://www.boingboing.net/2009/11/11/graph-compares-rock.html

This exciting new research may allow RTH Labs to finally make a breakthrough in their long-sought after "Algorhythm of Rock."

Link: http://www.mtv.com/news/articles/1623810/20091014/story.jhtml

Famed wrestling manager and early '80s rock cross-hanger on Captain Lou Albano died this week. A lot can be learned about a Townsperson by determining whether knowledge of Captain Lou Albano first came to you through his profession as a wrestling manager, his work with NRBQ, or his work with Cyndi Lauper.

NEXT: Rock Town Hall's Official Eulogy...

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I was disappointed to hear that Jesse Sandoval, the drummer from The Shins, was in his words "fired" from the band. He tells his side of the story in an article in the Portland Mercury. While he seems to have a bit of a complicated relationship with band leader James Mercer, I'm in agreement he was fired in a not-so-professional way. I'm sure it was awkward for all involved but still call it what it is and forget the "...I'm going in a different direction" statements.

I particularly like Sandoval's drumming. Admittedly it was quirky but I think it added interest to what might have been some otherwise average indie rock songs. I'm not sure what Mercer will do next or what it might sound like but it will be missing the unique combination of his Shins bandmates and Sandoval's drumming.

So the question is What are some other bands that lost players, either fired or quit, that ruined the "magic?" Can we say David Lee Roth out of Van Halen? Eno out of Roxy Music (maybe not)? Can you offer some suggestions?

Remember when a major artist like John Lennon could die and the next day a living artist of large standing, like The Boss or Neil Young, could quickly learn a Lennon song and perform it live, in tribute to the recently deceased artist? Beyonce does.

Even U2 made an effort at paying tribute to Michael Jackson in a recent concert. Skip to about the 1:50 mark to hear Bono launch into a little bit of Townsman BigSteve's nomination for the Last Decent Michael Jackson Song.

Maddona, who probably hasn't sung in public since lord knows when, couldn't quite muster the energy to belt out a chorus of "Wanna Be Starting Something," but she brought out a Michael Jackson impersonator to come onstage and dance to the song while it was piped over the PA.

A picture of a young Michael Jackson appeared on stage while Madonna was performing "Holiday," then the impersonator came on, wearing a sequined jacket, white T-shirt, white glove and white socks in the Jackson manner.

The music then switched to Jackson's song, "Wanna Be Starting Something," and the impersonator worked through Jackson's moves, including the famous moonwalk. The impersonator didn't sing.

Man, that's fucking moving!

The funny thing is, prior to the concert, she had the balls to pump up this thing.

"I expected a bit more, but it was tastefully done," said Jane Gadhia, 47, who said she thought Madonna would choose to sing a Jackson song.

Following the jump, Mr. Mod ponders an Important Question...

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Former Rolling Stones and Beatles henchman, er, manager Allen Klein has died.

Our most sincere and heartfelt RTH eulogy follows the jump...

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There's no way I'll have fun with this death. This guy got all the slings and arrows coming to him, deserved or not, during his life. Those half dozen great Jackson 5 songs, topped off by this historic robot dance, which debuted on the above performance of "Dancing Machine," are more than any of us will ever do in our lifetimes let alone before we reached adulthood. That Off the Wall album had some songs I liked, then came Thriller. Most of that stuff bored me, but I was in quite the minority. All sorts of nonsense and horrible accusations followed, but I kind of liked that "Black or White" single. It seemed to me the last time he ever dared letting it all hang out.

I'm sure more dirt than ever will be uncovered. Meanwhile I'll contemplate my Farrah poster and replay this robot dance sequence.