Children's books aren't what they used to be. My daughter, for example, is reading the novel I Am a Genius of Unspeakable Evil and I Want To Be Your Class President by Josh Lieb. It's story of Oliver Watson, an evil genius disguised as dorkish new boy who wants his father's love and will do anything to get it. Yep, anything.

Even introduce middle grade kids to Captain Beefheart and Trout Mask Replica. Oliver explains to the reader why Beefheart was an evil genius:

...a musician so brilliant, so evil, he drove his own band insane. He would not let them eat. He would not let them sleep. He would not let them leave the house. He made them wear dresses (and they were not girls). He stripped them of their very names and subjected them to hours of abusive group-therapy sessions. When a dejected and desperate member of the Magic Band managed to escape the Captain's clutches, Beefheart snatched him off the street and dragged him back to the practice studio.

It was cruel. Assuredly. Inhumane. Undoubtedly. Evil. Disgustingly so. And yet I defy you, today, to listen to Trout Mask Replica and say it was not worth it.

Being in step with the times, ie, aping Diary of A Wimpy Kid like mad, we also get a photo of Beefheart and the Magic Band in their pomp. And the cover of Trout Mask Replica. To a generation raised on Taylor Swift and Justin Bieber (whoever he is!), explaining Captain Beefheart isn't easy.

Townsmen and Townswomen - how do you explain Captain Beefheart to a child of the 21st century? Where would you start? What song by Beefheart might best explain his strange magic? When I gave Doc At Radar Station a quick spin my daughter fled the room with ears covered.

We've just updated the blog software. You may have to login again. If you have lost your password or have trouble logging in, email us at thebackoffice[at]rocktownhall.com

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ALERT: There's something happening here. Rock Town Hall is growin' up. They said sit down and we stood up.

Welcome to RTH v.3: StickyRhino. The ever-changing world in which we live in. (StickyRhino is best viewed at a screen resolution of 1280 or higher.)

You won't have to look too hard to orient yourself. The Rhino is a direct budding from DirtWeed and should in fact put to rest the long and hard fought flame wars of the AARP skin.

The gates of steel are being crashed Towsfolk. Hourly, by the throngs, rabid fans hell bent on devouring our unique brand of pablum are arriving. We are stardust. We are golden. We are half a million strong.* We can no longer fly under the radar. This is a call to action, fellow Townsfolk.

How you gonna come? With your hands on your head?

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Command Performance!
REMINDER: Occasionally Townspeople experience login problems that initially hit other Townspeople when we first upgraded the site. Following is a repeat of some tips we posted back then. If you missed it - or it didn't apply - the first time around, this repeat may be better than anything you've TiVoed in recent weeks. If you think you know it all and don't need to read this, perhaps you're wrong. Enjoy!

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I have a workaround for the AARP crowd. It requires you to have blogger privileges and all I have to do is load a custom style sheet into your media folder. The result will turn the green into white and the orange into black. I know that al and mrclean have media folders. There is a media folder for "mdw1322". Is that yours mwall? Or is that yours from a previous login? I don't see one for tvox.

Soooo. Let me know who wants the change and if you have a media folder already I can do it right away. If you don't, we can set you up with one.

Consider this post a sign-up thread and the place to comment on if its working or not.

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As reported in today's All-Star Jam.

We have added a new "skin" to Rock Town Hall. Those of you having dfficulty reading the current "Dirt Weed" skin can give the new "AARP-Approved" skin a try. If you choose it while you are logged in, supposedly it will be remebered for your account.

See the "Choose skin" category in the sidebar.

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The Back Office

Submitted by Townsman A-Dogg.

I'm finding, since the front page content doesn't change that often, that the best way to keep in touch with the day's comments is to hit the Last comments link on the sidebar. This may be the best way for people from the old list to get into the flow and keep content and discussion fresh.

I say:
Townsman, we thank you for this helpful tip.

We've set up a pretty standard blog format. If you're familiar with blogs you'll probably have no problem intuitively making your way about. If not, here's the lowdown.

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The Comments section at Rock Town Hall allows for a degree of formatting through use of specific XHTML tags, or codes. If you know a little about HTML, this will be a breeze. if you know less than that, hang on.

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Rock Town Hall is open to The People. Anyone, anywhere, anytime to can visit and peruse The Hall. However, in order to comment (which we strongly encourage) you must register. Why? The answer is pretty much "Spam". Apparently there are "robots" that troll the internet and look for places to deposit their seed. If someone is required to register it is a major deterent to said robots.

Registering is easy. All you need is a valid email address. Fill out the registration form by clicking Register under the Misc section of the sidebar. From there you will enter your login name, password and email address. An email confirmation will be sent to you. Click on the link within and, voila, you will be granted permission to tell us via comments how full of shit we are.

Note: We absolutely will not give/sell your email address to any third parties. We may send you emails about upcoming events or what-have-ya but absolutely no spam. If at anytime you want out, just send us a note, thebackoffice@rocktownhall.com, and that's that.

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The Back Office