In a press release issued today, Billy "Reverend Willy G" Gibbons, Dusty "the Pleaser" Hill, and Frank Beard countered assertions published on popular rock and roll blog "Rock Town Hall" that the band had never actually toured with live animals during their celebrated "World Wide Texas Tour" in 1976.

"As far as I'm concerned, this 'Moderator' character needs to step out from behind his momma's skirt and present himself for a good old-fashioned truth-whuppin'," said ZZ Top's long-time lead guitarist Billy Gibbons. "Not only did we tour with bison, buzzards, rattlesnakes, and long-horned cattle way back in '76, we recently secured a full menagerie of African wildlife for our upcoming 'BBQ Safari' World Tour -- and we've got the pictures to prove it. Until and unless Mr. Moderator delivers photographic proof that he in fact exists, we're issuing a cease-and-desist notice on all this tomfoolery. In conclusion, let me just say to Mr. Moderator and those who care about his half-baked conspiracy theories: do yourself a favor, son: bear down on the meat, and ease up on the potato salad."

Here's an excerpt from ZZ Top's Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame page that repeats the claim I've heard for as long as I can remember that ZZ Top did a Texas cattle ranch-themed tour that included real livestock on stage with them:

ZZ Top carried stagecraft to elaborate heights with its Worldwide Texas Tour: Taking Texas to the People. For this mid-Seventies extravaganza, which came between Fandango! and Tejas, ZZ Top lugged 75 tons of equipment and animals native to Texas, including a buffalo, a longhorn steer, buzzards and rattlesnakes. They also performed on a Texas-shaped stage.

That's from the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame, remember, an actual, industry-approved museum with dedicated curators! I've never been there, but if a fruitless community-wide, 3-day search of the Internet indicates anything I bet the Hall of Fame doesn't even possess photographic evidence of this rock myth!

Following is the photographic result of our search of ZZ Top pictured on stage with even a single, living buffalo, longhorn steer, buzzard, or rattlesnake.

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It's a provocative statement. I know. Fact is I like about 1/2 of that first album. But I'm calling Bullshit On The New York Dolls' legendary status.

Let's face it. The Dolls were a product of a place and time and heavy shtick. And ya know what, I dig the shtick but when all is said and done, the music is moderately interesting at best.

Rolling Stone called "Personality Crisis" the 267th best rock song of all time. Really?! Granted this was 2006 and doesn't include anything the Raconteurs did but...

K-Mart Stones in drag, man. And yeah that's cool but c'mon, legendary? Bullshit.

Here's the greatest thing The Dolls ever did:

I'm not talking about the album, I'm talking about the image on the cover. I maintain that without this cover, The New York Dolls would not have attained legendary status. And though this doesn't have the balls, it did come 2-3 year before.

What say you?

"I can't play this music, it sucks!"

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I'm a huge fan of XTC. I consider their run of albums from Go2 through The Big Express one of the most impressive runs of albums in rock. I even think Skylarking is a pretty great album, although I don't wholly embrace its constricted production. However, I was never a fan of Nonsuch. I tried to like it for a few months and finally decided to cast that devil out of the house!

Click here for a fascinating look at a band in the studio at a time when they forgot to change the batteries in their bullshit detector. (Unfortunately, this is one of those YouTube videos that the owner will not allow other sites to embed, so you've got to go to his specific URL.)

Does anyone in this studio look uncomfortable with the mess that's being put down? All that's missing is a nodding Derek Smalls, stroking his beard nnd pulling on his pipe.

When people tell me they don't "get" XTC - or think they stink, I figure this must be what they're hearing. I ask Townspeople who don't get XTC, Is this what you're hearing?

With the recent turmoil over who's RTH this is I thought I'd offer myself up as a sacrificial lamb in an effort to bring everyone together...against me.

Trust me, I realize that I may very well be committing some sort of rock nerd harikari (spelled correctly, looked it up.) Beefheart is god! Right?

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The other day, when Townsman Sammymaudlin took it upon himself to drop a huge electronic dump on The Germs, I gladly dropped my drawers and added to the dung heap. It turns out I was not alone in having my issues with that band and with hardcore in general. Others were mystified by the negative reactions, telling us we "had to be there" to appreciate these bands, that neither sounded good on record nor, for that matter, in concert. Townspeople candidly shared stories, displayed scars, and acknowledged their own shortcomings. I'm OK, You're OK, was the prevailing sentiment. It was a moving day, yet one Townsperson was not satisfied. SoCal transplant Mwall still needed an explanation as to why some of us felt The Germs sucked. He was not satisfied by the resulting inability of Germs sympathizers to explain why they were good. It's as if he thought we were obligated to adhere to American values like Innocent until proven guilty.

To his credit, Mwall did not back down. He kept at us, finally recommending particular songs that we should hear - without prejudice. And so I acquired the songs he recommended; cleared my mind of all memories of hardcore dudes scoffing at my own band's particular brand of "pussy" music; and cleared my mind further of those same dudes, a few years earlier, before they gave up on their aspirations of being the next Tony Iommi and took up hardcore instead, even then scoffing at my friends and I for being such pussies. Let's just say I was very clear and open-minded before revisiting The Germs. I'm, like, totally Pacific as I revisit these Germs songs I dismissed on one listen nearly 27 years ago. Following are my thoughts and the songs, for you to play and revisit alongside me.

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New pilot series here on Rock Town Hall called "Bullshit On". This is where we call it out or back it up. Plain and simple.

I'm calling bullshit on The Germs. I went through an LA Punk kick a few years back and splurged for the Complete Anthology of The Germs. Bullshit man. DIY doesn't mean DI Should.

I will give them this:

But honestly I thought this was a Ramones song until I got this comp. Otherwise this sums up the rest:

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What is it about Peter Gabriel that's made him an untouchable among critics and rock nerds? Beside the "Sledgehammer" single/video, which rock nerds feel free to dismiss and mock, the guy seems to have been given a free ride despite having been one of the most over-the-top of tuneless prog-rockers and a long-time enabler of players of geeky instruments, like the Chapman Stick, headless guitars, and hi-tech synths that I can't understand enough to fully describe and then mock.

For some understandable reasons, Peter Gabriel is thought of as having a higher degree of integrity and relevancy than his prog-rock contemporaries - and even moreso than most of his more readily embraced "Art Rock" contemporaries (I trust you understand these fine lines). In fact, Salon termed it "weirdly arty integrity." Understandably, this shields him from the slings and arrows so freely directed at former bandmates and members of other prog ensembles. Along with the prog-transcendent Robert Fripp, he's reached out to younger, non-prog artists for collaborations on his albums, such as Paul Weller, at the time still a member of the decidedly un-prog The Jam, and Kate Bush. He's done the charity/world music scene as well as anyone, some cool soundtrack work, and other deeds befitting a musician of David Byrne's rock-crit stature, but even Byrne gets beat up now and then.

Here's a sampling of some of the worst things I've seen critics say about Peter Gabriel:

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One of the Three Good Ones

Sorry for the hit-and-run, but I got shit to do today. I just want to go on record as saying that the ABBA revisionism of the last couple of decades -- this notion that Bjorn and Benny (or whatever their names were) were flawless practitioners of high pop craftsmanship -- is utter horseshit. Most of their stuff was aggravating, stupid, overproduced, and a blight on AM pop radio when it was released, and nothing has changed in the last 30 years as far as I can see. It still sucks!

Actually, I take that back. It doesn't all suck. ABBA did in fact deliver two Great Pop Songs in "Waterloo" and "Dancing Queen", and one pretty good one in "Does Your Mother Know". But the rest of the catalog? Absolute crap. "Fernando"? CRAP. "Money, Money Money"? TOTAL CRAP. "Take a Chance On Me"? UNBELIEVABLE CRAP. "The Winner Takes It All"? GIVE ME A FUCKING BREAK -- WHAT KIND OF RIGHT-THINKING ADULT STILL LISTENS TO THIS SHIT?!

Sheesh.