I was listening to the Pernice Brothers' album Live a Little today, and enjoying it immensely. The top was down, the sun was shining, traffic was light, and the band was as tuneful and tasteful as ever.

At one point, one of the tunes sounded an awful lot like "Working Girls" from their previous album, The World Won't End. I didn't care. The next song sounded a whole lot like some other Pernice Brothers song I loved. Did I give a shit? No! I realized a great deal of Pernice Brothers songs sound a great deal like other Pernice Brothers songs... and I was perfectly happy with that.

This got me thinking about other bands that are -- thankfully -- one-trick ponies. You know the bands I mean: bands that only do one thing, over and over -- and that disappoint us when they try to do anything else, so good is the one thing they're good at doing.

I'd like to make a definitive list of Great One-Trick Pony Bands. Will you help? If "yes," then a word of advice: don't give me any lazy-ass choices like AC/DC. They're not a one-trick pony -- they used to kick ass in a raw, almost punk kind of way, and now they mostly suck ass, in a stadium-rock kind of way. They look different, they act different, and they sound different. Same goes for lazy answer #2: ZZ Top. Once great, now lame, for many of the same reasons. Also: please don't list garage/freakbeat revivalists, who try to recreate one-trick pony rock.

A *good* answer would be, say, HVB faves Supagroup: testosterone-fueled '70s hard rockers who keep making the same album over and over again -- and all of them are awesome.

So: gimme your best one-trick pony bands. Hand 'em over!

HVB

Jody Stephens (center), join the club!

Bev Bevan and Rick Buckler have been raked over the coals in this long-suspended series already. Today a Townsperson other then E. Pluribus Gergely finally called bullshit on the drumming of Big Star's Jody Stephens. In honor of cdm's candidness, let's open the floor to other drummers who suck* despite powering the rhythms of bands we love!

*A point of clarification: By "worst" or "suck" I'm not really asking for a list of the technically worst drummers in rock, if any of us are even capable of assessing that, but drummers whose playing you find necessary to overlook (overhear?) while listening to a favorite artist.

My friends, it took me long enough, but I finally manned up and spent a few days with that Prince deep cutz collection that hrrundivbakshi demanded that I confront for Hear Factor. It was one of the most difficult series of listening sessions I've ever encountered, but I am a better man for it - and you, HVB, are a better man for having put me through it.

E. Pluribus, you're a good egg, too - and thanks for never making me sit through anything as painful as those Prince deep cutz. However, I need to call you into this, too, because you like to make a big stink about how exquisite your tastes are, yet you can't even begin to appreciate anything remotely in the "Art Rock" camp, can you? I'm calling you into this alongside hrrundivbakshi because I think he can put a little heat on you. I think HVB has it in him to find a bearable angle on Roxy Music. I doubt you do, but I hope he will shame you into opening your mind a little bit. As painful as it may be for one of you to budge, I'm confident that your need to distiguish yourselves from each other will result in one of you expressing something profound and fascinating, something more than what we may expect.

Now, if you have some time, I want to know if either of you have it in you to appreciate Roxy Music. I'm offering a completely unbalanced sampling of two songs each from my favorite two Roxy Music album for your analysis, gut responses, and possible pleasure. In case you need a visual, I've also placed a video of the band playing another favorite from their debut album. I feel this will demonstrate the band's usefulness in the research that is done in RTH Labs. Please take all the time you need, or at least as long as the tracks last. Let me know if you have any questions. Thank you.

"Virginia Plain"

"Re-Make/Re-Model"

"Amazona"

"Mother of Pearl"

Don't think the rest of you have not been summoned as well. I urge those of you who've stayed on the sidelines through past discussions about Roxy Music to step forward. Do you want to be part of the angry mob forever, or do you want to stand out and be your own person?

The Rock 'n Roll Caterer takes five, in 1985!

Years ago, when my wife and I were first dating, we ran into one of my old musician friends on a street corner. His long hair and slacker Shaggy Rogers facade hid the fact that he was a gentle, thoughtful guy whose only vice was sweets. After continuing on our way, she said something like, "Band members have this reputation for being tough and cool, but whenever I meet them they're usually the nicest people in the club." From 1978 through the 1980s, Penny Rush-Valladares interacted with rock stars galore while running Backstage Cafe, a concert catering company in Kansas City, Missouri. In the process, Penny became a member of the Kansas City rock scene herself. From both the tales on her website, Rock and Roll Stories, and our conversations about her her experiences, it quickly became clear that Penny was among the many nice ones in the rock scene, super nice.

But this hard-working, rock 'n roll-loving hippie (in the best sense of the term) isn't beyond dishing more than her patented turkey dinners. In the course of our talk we gain some shocking insights about the likes of Roger Waters, Neil Diamond, and Bob Dylan - not to mention a story about Van Halen that's more disgusting than I would have thought possible. A key detail about a diminutive purple presence in the '80s rock scene explains so much, but let's not get ahead of ourselves. In the true spirit of the Halls of Rock, Penny brings a cheerful attitude, a bruised-but-not-beaten sense of idealism, and the willingness to let it all hang out. You won't run into a Penny on any old street corner.

Penny's website chronicles some of her earliest rock 'n roll stories, including her night with The Beatles; we start with her entry into rock 'n roll catering.

RTH: Can you summarize your work as a rock ‘n roll caterer? How did you get started as a caterer for touring musicians? You were initially based out of a certain venue, right?

Penny: Well, yes and no. I worked out of the Uptown Theatre in the beginning, helping another woman and learning the ropes. But it soon extended out into other venues. It was in its infant stages and we made it up as we went along. Basically we had to come up with a little dressing room food for the artists and some crew dinner for 20 or so guys. The reason I got involved was because I loved going to concerts and wanted to be backstage, so I soon realized there was a need for food and I knew that was something I could do.

It just kept evolving and demands from the artists kept getting more involved and official. A contract "rider" came along, which listed all the particular needs of each act and their food requirements were included. So it didn’t take long for me to start specializing in concert catering. I never wanted to do other kinds of catering, because I was only doing it to be backstage.

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The time has come for me to face the ultimate horror in our long-delayed, long-suspended second season of Hear Factor!

A worshipper of the Holy Trinity of Rock (ie, Prince, ELO, and ZZ Top) who will go unidentified submitted a collection for my consumption and gut responses consisting of 10 deep cutz by Prince. The thought of listening to this collection so disturbed me that I failed in my responsibilities of moderating a second, successful season of this nearly revolutionary music blog torture listening exercise. I did listen to it - once - but I nearly drove off the road and subsequently procrastinated on listening to it again...until today. I'm off the road and safely seated now, so fear not!

DeepCutz.zip (~72 mb)

There's no point in holding out any longer. Tomorrow we will delight in reviewing the early demos of our fellow Townspeople. That stuff can't be worse than what I'm about to hear. My real-time thoughts, feeling, and impressions follow the jump...

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I believe that in an ideal world, involving slight time travel and possibly Black Magic, The Move as produced by Jimmy Page to capture the band's low-end rumble and provide space for Roy Wood's reedy tendencies, could have been a much easier band for me to sell to friends.

Check out this late-period song, "Ella James." It's melodic, it boogies, it's hard rocking, and it has elements of Byrdsy jangle and late-period Beatlesy melodicism all the while reaching for The Power and Glory of Rock. However, the parts are not-quite-definted, and it you know the album version you may agree with me that, like just about everything The Move recorded, it's a mess of a production. For a band led by two highly conceptual multi-instrumentalists The Move had trouble sorting through the details of their ambitious productions. They badly needed help.

Jeff Lynne would take The Move's template and polish it up to nice effect for ELO, but I believe he avoided dealing with the parent band's maximum heaviosity. Page would have known how to incorporate those elements while modernizing the band's sound, making them more than a clunky version of The Who.

How I wish I could go back in time and make this so. What artist would you say needed the production skills of what producer?

Jason Falkner's album I'm OK, You're OK, which came out in Japan in 2007, is getting released in the U.S. this week! It's streaming here for now. It'll probably be up there only for a few days, so get at it while you can, Mr. Mod... I dare you!

Of course, those of us who actually, like me, enjoy some Jason Falkner music -- Hrrundi, Alexmagic, etc. -- are also welcome to give a listen. So far, it's okay. Not mindblowing, though the song "Stephanie Tells Me" is pretty nifty.

In a press release issued today, Billy "Reverend Willy G" Gibbons, Dusty "the Pleaser" Hill, and Frank Beard countered assertions published on popular rock and roll blog "Rock Town Hall" that the band had never actually toured with live animals during their celebrated "World Wide Texas Tour" in 1976.

"As far as I'm concerned, this 'Moderator' character needs to step out from behind his momma's skirt and present himself for a good old-fashioned truth-whuppin'," said ZZ Top's long-time lead guitarist Billy Gibbons. "Not only did we tour with bison, buzzards, rattlesnakes, and long-horned cattle way back in '76, we recently secured a full menagerie of African wildlife for our upcoming 'BBQ Safari' World Tour -- and we've got the pictures to prove it. Until and unless Mr. Moderator delivers photographic proof that he in fact exists, we're issuing a cease-and-desist notice on all this tomfoolery. In conclusion, let me just say to Mr. Moderator and those who care about his half-baked conspiracy theories: do yourself a favor, son: bear down on the meat, and ease up on the potato salad."

Here's an excerpt from ZZ Top's Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame page that repeats the claim I've heard for as long as I can remember that ZZ Top did a Texas cattle ranch-themed tour that included real livestock on stage with them:

ZZ Top carried stagecraft to elaborate heights with its Worldwide Texas Tour: Taking Texas to the People. For this mid-Seventies extravaganza, which came between Fandango! and Tejas, ZZ Top lugged 75 tons of equipment and animals native to Texas, including a buffalo, a longhorn steer, buzzards and rattlesnakes. They also performed on a Texas-shaped stage.

That's from the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame, remember, an actual, industry-approved museum with dedicated curators! I've never been there, but if a fruitless community-wide, 3-day search of the Internet indicates anything I bet the Hall of Fame doesn't even possess photographic evidence of this rock myth!

Following is the photographic result of our search of ZZ Top pictured on stage with even a single, living buffalo, longhorn steer, buzzard, or rattlesnake.

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As many of you know, I'm a big fan of Roy Wood, in particular his work with The Move and his solo album Boulders. However, once he crossed the line into ridiculous, futuristic-retro glam with Wizzard, I have trouble keeping up with the guy. First of all, his recordings sound worse than ever. I'm no audiophile, and I've always found something charming about the overloaded sound of The Move records and the claustrophobic Boulders, but Wizzard simply sounds terrible - and not in a good way.

More troubling is the progression of Wood's Look and what it says about his interest in communicating with humans on any level. As seen in this 1972 ELO video, the guy was pushing it a few years before Wizzard and his Mustard solo album. It's one thing to be "eccentric," quite another to announce to the world that you do not intend to ever be taken seriously, not even in a joking way.

Anyhow, I've rarely found interviews with Wood, and my attempts at reaching him myself have not been fruitful. I'm all for rock's outsiders, wildmen, and such, but someone needs to put a little scrutiny on Roy Wood, someone needs to ask him one question:

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