"I can't play this music, it sucks!"

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This video is appalling on multiple levels.

The pointlessly rural setting, the various Look crimes – the beret, the overalls, the visor, the aviator shades, the peroxide – the objectification of women’s body parts, the exploitation of poor people, Rod’s preening and prancing... I could go on.

This style of Stonesy rock is what Rod had been successfully purveying with the Faces, but here it’s been perfected to death. It’s now drained of whatever vitality it once had and turned into a coked-out rock star nightmare. I hate everything about it.

But.

I absolutely LOVE that guitar riff that comes in after Rod shrieks “I love ya, honay!” (first appearance at about 1:23). A two-chord riff with one repeat, it’s perfect in its simplicity, even it is a bit too Les-Paul-through-a-Marshall-amp. It just works.

Of course it’s immediately undercut by that dull, thudding drum fill from whichever Appice brother that is, but this little hint that Rod still knows what he’s doing confuses me. Does it almost redeem the song, or does it make the whole thing even more embarrassing by highlighting all that he’s thrown away?

Anyway, do you have a song or an album you basically despise which still has some feature or aspect you grudgingly love?

Here's a FRIDAY FLASHBACK! topic from way back that might be worth extending with the input of our newer Townspeople. In the Comments for this post you'll see that Hrrundivbakshi suggested an offshoot thread that's also still worth exploring. The KISS Army Reunion referred to, by the way, was a pretty major event in early Rock Town Hall history. It may be worth seeking out that mid-February 2007 series of posts.

This post initially appeared 2/16/07.

Enthusiasm for the KISS Reunion has spilled over to the parking lot here at the Valley Forge Convention Center, so keep those KISS comments coming. Something posted by Townsman hrrundivbakshi, however, caught my eye and warrants a discussion of its own. It has to do with the adolescent rock conspiracy theories that only a teen rock fan's mind can get its, er, head around for a short time. In case you missed the comment, here it is:

Speaking of bands actually being other bands, I must share one of the funnier/stupider young teen music rumors that me and my friends all believed for a while: that Van Halen were actually KISS without the makeup. It was so obvious, from the backstory (Gene "discovered" Van Halen in a bar in California... yeah, *right*) to the revealing photos on the inner sleeve of VH's first album. I mean, look at that picture of Michael Anthony scowling with demonic intensity! And you can't tell me that happy-go-lucky photo of "Alex Van Halen" doesn't capture the essence of the Cat Man! Now, "Eddie," he's, uh, Paul Stanley 'cause of the hair... though it's funny that Paul didn't play lead guitar in KISS... hm... I guess -- I guess that leaves Ace. Ace is, uh, this David Lee Roth guy, I guess. Funny how he must have a completely secret life/talent set... you know, to be the lead singer and everything. Still, he's a *rock star*, so, you know, anything is possible. Right?

This fantasy lasted about 3 days before we moved on to the next bizarro adolescent conspiracy theory.

There are rock's legendary conspiracy theories - Paul being dead, the Elton John/Rod Stewart stomach pumping - but I'm curious to know about the adolescent rock conspiracy theories that you grew up with, even those that only lasted a few days.

The Stones had an easy time of things against Rod Stewart, if you ask me. I think I would very grudgingly concede Get Your Ya-Ya's Out as a tie, but probably not if you really pushed me. One thing I learned is that Rod and the Faces are great once in awhile, but every day gets boring pretty quickly. I wasn't expecting that. I thought I liked them more. Maybe that's why I have such a low tolerance for bands like The Black Crowes.

Anyway, I think while mopping up after the fight, I've found some things worth keeping from the winners. Sure, they're just sweaty towels and discarded paper cups, but I think they're worth checking out. Cleaning up in an early round, I found a towel outside the ring, and when I wrung it out I found a song called "Criss Cross" that could replace any of the slow songs on Goat's Head Soup and make things better.

The Rolling Stones, "Criss Cross"

I also found a paper cup with "Waiting on My Friend", which would one day bring Mick Taylor an unexpected royalty check. He had to sue the band for the lifetime supply of Twinkies.

The Rolling Stones, "Waiting on My Friend"

I also found an unused roll of tape called "Living in the Heart of Love". I really like this one. I like how Keith's vocals are different from whatever Mick is singing. It's jarring, but it's cool.

The Rolling Stones, "Living in the Heart of Love"

I know that everyone says that Vinyl Rules, man! But here's an example of one of the limitations of the medium. This round had to be cut short because lp's generally lose it sonically over that 45 minute mark. That and people weren't sure that the Stones' generally white audience would like a slow funk song like "Fingerprint File" was originally recorded. So they sped it up, and we get a slightly Chipmunky Mick Jagger.

The Rolling Stones, "Fingerprint File"

The Rolling Stones, "Fingerprint File (slower version)"

The second version is supposedly from the original acetate. Pretty cool, huh?

And to shed a little light on BigSteve's comments about "It's Only Rock 'n Roll" and its video, supposedly Mick and Ronnie were at Ronnie's house and Mick had the idea for the song. They worked on it, together with David Bowie. Kenny Jones was called in later and did drums to make it better (he lived closer than Charlie). It was given to Keith to check out, and Keith wiped every electric guitar Ronnie put on the tape. Rumor has it that the video is Ronnie's original demo. I think it's one of the best records the Stones have ever made. They've botched it live every time, but the record itself is just perfect.

The Rolling Stones, "It's Only Rock 'n Roll (video version)"

There's plenty more, but for now this will give you a nice look at what was happening outside the ring.

This is the moment you've been waiting for: judgment day - and more importantly the end of the painful, pathetic, final rounds of what started out, just a week ago, a fierce Battle Royale of possibly mind-blowing proportions. I don't know about you, but I feel completely drained, wasted, like Rod and his nipple slip.

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Forget the battle between Rod Stewart and the Rolling Stones, ca. 1976. I'm more interested in the battle between Little Stevie Wright and Rod Stewart! You be the judge!

"Hard Road", Stevie Wright

HVB

In 1975, Faces mercifully wind down with a final tour. Rod Stewart's not doing so well. He's so out of it on this Midnight Special appearance that in his Tara Reid-like stupor he doesn't have a clue that his nipples have, like, totally slipped out of his scoop neck top!

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Townsman Hrrundivbakshi requested more proof that Rod Stewart's 1974 solo album, Smiler, "sucks," as I summarized.

As requested, the Vanda and Young-composed track from Smiler that could change the course of this study...

Rod Stewart, "Hard Road"

I look forward to your thoughts.

Call 1974 the beginning of the Satin Years. Satin jackets and jumpsuits would mark the "sucking in the '70s" period that both the Stones and Rod Stewart would face. The best thing that can be said about some of the worst works by these artists in the coming years is that they helped spur the punk rock movement. However, the Stones would work hard to keep it together and see if they could even up the score in their Battle Royale against Rod Stewart from the years 1969-1976.

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Listen closely to Keef in this 1974 interview and see if you can tell where this is headed.

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