Let he who is without a Rock Crime record cast the first Rolling Stone!

Whether your personal Rock Crimes are big or small, we know you've committed at least one. If nothing else, you were born with original an Rock Crime. It's time you 'fess up and come clean with a Rock Crime you've committted. Those who confess and apologize will be granted immunity. Those who continue to run from The Truth will be suspects in the next sweep of the Nebraska Manhunt!

You may recall the interview I conducted with former Television guitarist Richard Lloyd in 2007. Among other topics, I tried to engage Lloyd in a discussion of his time accompanying Matthew Sweet. We quickly veered off into other more pressing matters, but we were able to scratch the surface of guitar porn, or Gentleman's Rock.

RTH: When I saw you with Matthew Sweet, every guitar player in Philadelphia at that time was gathered at your side of the stage –

RL: Yes, staring at my fucking crotch! OK.

RTH: I was surprised people weren’t shoving dollar bills down your jeans.

RL: I was saying to myself, Will you please move over and let me see some tits? At least if you’re gonna stand there staring at my crotch lend me your girlfriend after the show.

I'm not a guy who goes out of his way to get off on ax-wielding guitar heroes, but Lloyd's playing was worth the occasionally embarrassing moments of bumping into another guy with a hard-on for the man's fretwork.

Check out this live clip of Sweet from the tour I saw. I'll still stand behind much of Sweet's work from that period, but the guy wasn't a dynamic performer. No wonder all the dudes stood in front of Lloyd's side of the stage.

Whether you frequently attend stip - er - rock clubs to metaphorically shove dollar bills into the waistband of a lead guitarist or not, who's your favorite "adult guitar player" - or "adult" player of any instrument?

I've got something to confess. Although I'm known for my fair-balanced impersonal moderation of Rock Town Hall, there are times in which I struggle to maintain my balance, times when I need to catch myself and say, Hey, it's about them, not me! Last night was one of those times.

I had the following post ready to load, until a force that's hard to explain made me think better of it. It's not enough that I thought better of posting what I wanted to post; I feel compelled to share with you the depths to which I almost sunk...after the jump!

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I mentioned this in passing the other day but felt strongly enough about it that I was compelled to jump up on the Main Stage and make my apology loud and clear.

[clear throat and project]

Fountains of Wayne: I am sorry. I am sorry that I called you one of the biggest drop offs in rock. I am sorry that I have gone out of my way to say that following your self-titled debut, you sucked hard.

I was wrong and I'm sorry.

It's just that, well, I loved your first album so much and your second one, Utopia Parkway, sucked so bad that I chucked you over the cliff. I gave up and bad mouthed you to anyone that would listen.

You'd think I'd have learned my lesson by throwing XTC over the cliff after Nonesuch only to come crawling back to Apple-Venus vol. 1.

But nooooooooo.

I recently heard Bright Future in Sales on the radio and thought I'd give you another shot. You see, I wanted to keep loving you but it was just so hard after what felt like a betrayal.

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It's 1979, late some Saturday night. I'm 16 years old, and the only one awake in my house. I'm sitting on the couch in my family's wood-paneled basement, watching some early rock video show on a UHF station. The following video comes on the tv.

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In the last week we were reminded of The Great 48's admission that he's yet to hear John Lennon's Plastic Ono Band album. We also learned that Hrrundivbakshi was just aboutt to pop his Four Seasons' Genuine Imitation Life cherry. If you'll recall, HVB even found an old quote from John Lennon, who praised the album at the time of its release.

Speaking of albums Lennon (and McCartney) praised, just a few minutes ago, while researching another possible topic, I was reminded that I've never heard Nilsson's debut album, Pandemonium Shadow Show. The album cover alone should have been reason for me to check out this album, but I've long been afraid of digging too deeply into anything by Nilsson. Don't ask me why; I'm not sure that I understand it myself, although his album of Randy Newman covers helped me finally give Newman a fairer shake.

We rightfully pride ourselves on our dedication to knowing all there is to know about all that's worth knowing in rock 'n roll. We need to know these things to conduct the high-level, in-depth discourse that brings us to the Halls of Rock. However, I'm sure we all have a shocking gap in our accumulated rock knowledge. This is your chance to step forward and confess to not ever having heard an album over which rock nerds typically take pride in flaunting their educated opinion.

You are forgiven.

Time to 'fess up. I clearly have no qualms about laying it all out for ya so I'll start.

I discovered The Sonics via the Nissan SUV (I think) commercial. I also discovered Chris Knox (Tall Dwarfs) via the Heineken commercial that uses It's Love. The Knox album on eMusic (Beat) has a definite Taking Tiger Mountain By Strategy vibe.

I Wanna Look Like Darcy Clay

I confessed. I am at one with god.

What say you?

Hardcore action below the fold!

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