{"id":12170,"date":"2012-02-12T13:44:47","date_gmt":"2012-02-12T18:44:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.rocktownhall.com\/blogs\/?p=12170"},"modified":"2012-02-12T15:18:45","modified_gmt":"2012-02-12T20:18:45","slug":"the-ten-commandments-of-dance","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.rocktownhall.com\/blogs\/the-ten-commandments-of-dance\/","title":{"rendered":"The Ten Commandments of Dance"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Following the current Rock Town Hall questions and poll about my alleged knowledge of “illegal choreography,” I had a surprise visit from an interesting duo. A man and a woman appeared at my door. At first, I thought they may be solicitors, but upon closer look, I noticed some unusual things. They were dressed in black, although the woman also wore a touch of light pink. The man wore a tailored short jacket, but instead of pants had on very tight, lightweight leggings and soft leather boots. The woman wore a wrap sweater, a long chiffon skirt and slippers. It was when I noticed that she had her hair in a tight bun, and that both had darkly drawn eyebrows, false eyelashes and rouged cheeks that I realized that something was very, very wrong… These people were not visiting members of Roxy Music but instead had come to tell me that I had inadvertently broken one of the Ten Commandments of Dance<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

Following is a copy of document that they shared with me. I am permitted to share it with you so that you don’t make the same mistake as I.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

The Ten Commandments of Dance<\/h1>\n
    \n
  1. Thou Shalt Not learn and copy the choreography of particular choreographers who remain nameless because if thou name them that could be a problem, unless thou referest to the combination of steps as: \u201cin the style of\u2026\u201d \u201c\u2026-esque\u201d \u201ca la \u2026.\u201d If thou actually perform this combination of dance moves, thou may feel immediately joyous but shalt be struck down or at least feel exceedingly guilty.<\/li>\n
  2. Thou Shalt Not take fewer than five dance classes a week. Otherwise, thou are not giving thyself sufficiently to Thine Art.<\/li>\n
  3. Thou Shalt Not be an adult dancer in a class of teenagers, adult being defined as greater than 2x the age of the youngest dancer. Breaking this commandment forces thou to confront Commandment # 7.<\/li>\n
  4. Thou Shalt Not attempt to have any semblance of a hair style as thy hair will be back in a bun all the time anyways.<\/li>\n
  5. Thou Shalt Not allow thy face to belie that the choreography is excruciatingly difficult. Even if thou art sweating. A lot.<\/li>\n
  6. Thou Shalt Not throw away any pair of previously worn toe shoes. Thou may use up a closet storing them or give them to thy husband to use as things to draw for his still life class.<\/li>\n
  7. Thou Shalt Not look at oneself in any of the mirrors that line a dance studio\u2019s walls. To do so would indicate thou art a novice or adult dancer.<\/li>\n
  8. Thou Shalt Not aspire to perform in a music video.<\/li>\n
  9. Thou Shalt Not weight the costume choices of a dance thou are performing as being more important than the choreography itself. Even if the wardrobe consists of a white unitard.<\/li>\n
  10. Thou Shalt Not complain when thy body aches or is injured. However, thou may refer to thy number of former surgeries, or thine needed intake of Advil or Alleve.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Have you broken any of the Ten Commandments of Dance? Are there a corresponding Ten Commandments of Music? Have you broken any of them? What was the punishment? <\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Following the current Rock Town Hall questions and poll about my alleged knowledge of “illegal choreography,” I had a surprise visit from an interesting duo. A man and a woman appeared at my door. At first, I thought they may be solicitors, but upon closer look, I noticed some unusual things. They were dressed in […]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1838,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[342],"tags":[178,155],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.rocktownhall.com\/blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12170"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.rocktownhall.com\/blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.rocktownhall.com\/blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.rocktownhall.com\/blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1838"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.rocktownhall.com\/blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=12170"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.rocktownhall.com\/blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12170\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.rocktownhall.com\/blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=12170"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.rocktownhall.com\/blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=12170"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.rocktownhall.com\/blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=12170"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}