{"id":1786,"date":"2008-11-08T21:28:57","date_gmt":"2008-11-09T02:28:57","guid":{"rendered":""},"modified":"2008-11-08T21:28:57","modified_gmt":"2008-11-08T21:28:57","slug":"don-t-bother-joaquin","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.rocktownhall.com\/blogs\/don-t-bother-joaquin\/","title":{"rendered":"Don&#8217;t Bother, Joaquin"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><iframe class='youtube-player youtuber' type='text\/html' width='425' height='355' src='http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/7z-kzE1eHls?rel=0&amp;fs=1&amp;ap=%252526fmt%253D18' webkitAllowFullScreen mozallowfullscreen allowFullScreen frameborder='0'><\/iframe><br \/>\nWhere have I been, too busy with the Phillies&#8217; World Series run and then an historic Presidential Election to have caught <strong>Joaquin Phoenix<\/strong>&#8216;s announcement that he was retiring from acting to concentrate on music?<\/p>\n<p><iframe class='youtube-player youtuber' type='text\/html' width='425' height='355' src='http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/fQqxqNEbKIo?rel=0&amp;fs=1&amp;ap=%252526fmt%253D18' webkitAllowFullScreen mozallowfullscreen allowFullScreen frameborder='0'><\/iframe><br \/>\nDon&#8217;t bother, Joaquin! We know you won an Academy Award for your reduction of <strong>Johnny Cash<\/strong> to a slobbering, life-sized punk who could only be saved by the love of a <strong>Strong Woman<\/strong> in a film that most moviegoers will never think about again in 2 years time, unless you don&#8217;t get your act together by then and that&#8217;s all the clips we have to run alongside your obit, but you&#8217;re not only no Johnny Cash. You&#8217;re not even River.<\/p><iframe class='youtube-player youtuber' type='text\/html' width='425' height='355' src='http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/RSJKGBbDm_8?rel=0&amp;fs=1&amp;ap=%252526fmt%253D18' webkitAllowFullScreen mozallowfullscreen allowFullScreen frameborder='0'><\/iframe><p>Your best acting role was the one that required the least amount of acting, the hopped-up halfwit kid <strong>Nicole Kidman<\/strong>&#8216;s character seduces into killing her husband in the excellent <em>To Die For<\/em>. Get your act together. Enjoy your fate as a high-class <strong>Jim Belushi<\/strong> and keep finding movie roles that allow you to mumble and look hurt. You&#8217;re not completely talentless&#8230;as an ACTOR. The world&#8217;s got enough second-rate rock musicians. We don&#8217;t need you hogging precious space on Tuesday night gigs. You can make records on the side, just like JIm does.<\/p><iframe class='youtube-player youtuber' type='text\/html' width='425' height='355' src='http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/gmDWXdpLtZ4?rel=0&amp;fs=1&amp;ap=%252526fmt%253D18' webkitAllowFullScreen mozallowfullscreen allowFullScreen frameborder='0'><\/iframe><p>There are worse fates, my friend.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Where have I been, too busy with the Phillies&#8217; World Series run and then an historic Presidential Election to have caught Joaquin Phoenix&#8216;s announcement that he was retiring from acting to concentrate on music? Don&#8217;t bother, Joaquin! We know you won an Academy Award for your reduction of Johnny Cash to a slobbering, life-sized punk <a href='https:\/\/www.rocktownhall.com\/blogs\/don-t-bother-joaquin\/' class='excerpt-more'>[&#8230;]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[16],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.rocktownhall.com\/blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1786"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.rocktownhall.com\/blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.rocktownhall.com\/blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.rocktownhall.com\/blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.rocktownhall.com\/blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1786"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.rocktownhall.com\/blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1786\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.rocktownhall.com\/blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1786"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.rocktownhall.com\/blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1786"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.rocktownhall.com\/blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1786"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}