{"id":24123,"date":"2021-03-09T16:15:13","date_gmt":"2021-03-09T21:15:13","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.rocktownhall.com\/blogs\/?p=24123"},"modified":"2021-03-10T10:22:51","modified_gmt":"2021-03-10T15:22:51","slug":"avalon-stuff-that-smells-like-it-came-out-of-someones-butt-sinatra-etc","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.rocktownhall.com\/blogs\/avalon-stuff-that-smells-like-it-came-out-of-someones-butt-sinatra-etc\/","title":{"rendered":"Avalon, Stuff That Smells Like It Came Out of Someone\u2019s Butt, Sinatra, Etc."},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Once in a while, I feel like something\u2019s going on that I\u2019m not getting. In the words of Elvis\u2019s second greatest hits package, \u201c50 million fans can\u2019t be wrong.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Avalon<\/em>, Roxy Music.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The wife and I are obsessed with the TV show Doc Martin<\/em>. Can\u2019t get enough of it. We\u2019re on the 6th season, and it just keeps getting better and better. And that more or less goes for just about anything we\u2019ve seen recently from the BBC. Don\u2019t know much about how they function, but it seems like there\u2019s some kind of stipulation in project contracts stating characters must look, sound, and act like real people. Doc, played by Martin Clunes<\/strong>, is best described as homely and doesn\u2019t suffer fools; his wife is pleasantly attractive and talented, definitely not a Barbie bimbo; Bert, who can\u2019t cook to save his life, weighs more than Haystacks Calhoun<\/strong>; and Bert\u2019s son and business partner is the twin of one my most beloved grade partners (yet another reason why I\u2019m hooked, I miss the guy). In short, they\u2019re real.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

(Quick side bar: I steer clear from the not real, and that includes anything that reeks of science fiction or fantasy. I can\u2019t relate to any of it. That said, God bless you, J.K. Rowling<\/strong>. You single-handedly changed the reading habits for the better of millions of kids who never had a desire to pick up a book. Know that one of my most altruistic acts was reading your EPG-unfriendly books to my biological brats, who gobbled them up like ice cream. I attribute their voracious passion for the written word to you.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Because I can\u2019t get enough of the show, I\u2019ve been listening to related podcasts, one of which is the BBC\u2019s Desert Island Discs<\/em> (yet another winner) interview with Martin Clunes. He\u2019s everything I expected him to be: charming, humorous, benevolent, etc. His desert island disc choices are certainly eclectic. T Rex<\/strong>\u2019s \u201cHot Love\u201d (talk about a one trick pony!), Bob Marley<\/strong>\u2019s \u201cGet Up, Stand Up\u201d (snooze), Chuck Berry<\/strong>\u2019s \u201cReelin\u2019 and Rockin\u2019 (finally!), Zappa<\/strong>\u2019s \u201cDoreen\u201d (Clunes says he\u2019d take the Zappa catalog over the collected works of William Shakespeare. Not me. I\u2019d keep the Shakespeare and curb all the Zappa except for his first and only worthwhile listen, Freakout<\/em>), Rod Stewart<\/strong>\u2019s \u201cSailing\u201d (not familiar with that one), Elton John<\/strong>\u2019s \u201cYour Song,\u201d performed touchingly by his daughter and a friend, and finally \u201cWe Have All the Time in the World\u201d by Fun Lovin\u2019 Criminals<\/strong> (not anything to write home about).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

His choice of Avalon<\/em> was the one I found to be most interesting. Avalon<\/em> is one of those albums that has never done a single thing for me. Yet, I know there\u2019s something happening within the LP\u2019s grooves that I can\u2019t seem to grasp. For fans, the mere mention of the title appears to have the power to transport the faithful to some dimension of pure bliss. I don\u2019t get it, won\u2019t get it, and that\u2019s fine. What I do get is that a certain type of person is drawn to the record. They\u2019re all very much like Clunes. If you\u2019re lucky enough to be with the Avalon<\/em> gang at a dinner party, you know the conversation is going to be stimulating, and the rules of engagement will be understood and followed. The topics may well be a little different than the usual fare, but you\u2019ll go home wanting another outing with that same gang. I\u2019m more than aware that all this sounds like some sort of press release for a new series from the Hallmark Channel, but that\u2019s something I\u2019ll certainly be looking forward to when this god-awful pandemic finally ebbs. A preference for Avalon is not unlike a Dead-disser who makes an exception for the exceptional \u201cBox of Rain.\u201d You know you\u2019re in good company should anyone at the table give a thumbs up for either title.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Stuff That Smells Like It Came Out of Someone\u2019s Butt<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

All who know me know that I refuse to eat anything that smells like it came out of someone\u2019s butt. Specifically, I\u2019m talking about every type of cheese except for mozzarella.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After a very out of control party during my college years, in which I passed out due to much boozing, my friends decided to insert a variety of malodorous cheeses within the folds of my blankets. The smell hit me as soon as I felt myself coming out of the coma. When I discovered the reason for the smell, I had a panic attack similar to that which Silver Lining\u2019s Playbook<\/em> Pat has after reading the ending of A Farewell to Arms<\/em>. Honestly, I was and am still that frightened of cheese. And mac and cheese? Forget it. I\u2019d rather be forced to listen to a 9-hour Dead \u201cSpace\u201d workout, which leads to another food phobia: casserole like creations that have the texture of vomit, many of which require mayonnaise. Yuck!!!  It\u2019s very difficult for me to be at the kitchen table with my wife should she opt for some horror like tuna salad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Again, I\u2019m in the wrong. The world has decided that cheese is one of life\u2019s great delights. And because I can\u2019t wrap my tongue around that, I\u2019ll never be a good cook. To be a really good cook, one\u2019s palette must acknowledge the magnificence of cheese and be open to the possibility that something like brains might taste like manna from heaven. That\u2019s not going to happen for me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My grandmother had a close friend from South Philadelphia who gave her a killer lasagna recipe. She in turn gave it to my mom, which my mom passed on to me. Every 2 weeks or so, I make it for us, the Moderator, and his wife. My wife, who\u2019d make a more than able contestant on Top Chef, more or less serves as my sous chef. Throughout the making of the thing, my wife continually tells me what a great cook I am, that I go where Gordon Ramsay<\/strong> would never dare, that I shouldn\u2019t rule out the possibility of opening my own. . . (really, I look in the mirror and ask myself what in the name of God I ever did to have this voluptuous, multitalented creature for my wife and wonder what the hell she sees in me, and then my vanity gets the better of me and tells me that I\u2019m actually a pretty good catch). At some point or another, I\u2019ve had enough and tell her she\u2019s nuts, that all I\u2019m doing is following a recipe, that there\u2019s no magic going on ala the story that\u2019s always told at teaching conferences by a keynote speaker who\u2019s trying to make a point about what makes a great teacher, the story about the speaker\u2019s supposed genius-in-the-kitchen grandmother who always adds that unexplainable something not found in a recipe. Simply put, without an appreciative palette for cheese, I\u2019ll never be Jacques Pepin<\/strong>. Sorry to disappoint.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Frank Sinatra<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Sinatra\u2019s duet with his daughter, \u201cSomethin\u2019 Stupid,\u201d to these ears, is the only thing he\u2019s ever done that\u2019s moved me. I can\u2019t tell you how many collections I\u2019ve bought over the years, loaded with Sinatra titles, just to get those 10 or so clean \u201ctake a chance\u201d bop albums which might have hit the turntable once or twice. He\u2019s not Avalon<\/em> because one can\u2019t rely on him to enlarge one\u2019s circle of Clunes-like friends – and he\u2019s not like an offensive-smelling limburger either.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He\u2019s someone who Gary Giddins<\/strong>, Leonard Feather<\/strong>, and Nat Hentoff<\/strong> (jazz critics I wholeheartedly respect) hear and greatly enjoy, which makes me feel like a real dumbass for having such an \u201cI couldn\u2019t care less\u201d attitude. Again, something\u2019s going on there that I\u2019m not getting. And I\u2019m not going to get it because I can\u2019t stay awake trying to find out what it is.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Classical Music<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019ve already written about my appreciation for Chopin<\/strong>\u2019s “Prelude No. 4,” enhanced by its performance by Jack Nicholson<\/strong> in Five Easy Pieces<\/em>, which the wife and I watched about a month or so ago. That scene, as well as the rest of the movie, still delivers.  Wish I could say the same for Citizen Kane<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

One other piece that knocks me for a loop every time I hear it is Erik Satie<\/strong>\u2019s “Trois Gymnopedies.” To say the least, it\u2019s draining, which is why director Robert Weide<\/strong> featured it as the background music for the final sequence of his masterful documentary on Lenny Bruce<\/strong>, Swear to Tell the Truth<\/em>. While the piece plays in the background, Jo Jo D\u2019Amore<\/strong>, a contemporary of Bruce, sits on a couch and explains how the police allowed the public to enter Bruce\u2019s house, examine Bruce\u2019s dead body, and do whatever else they wanted for as long as they chose. Throughout the interview, D\u2019Amore is continually on the verge of tears and is obviously relieved when the interview is through. To this day, just thinking about the scene does a number on me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Classical music more or less seemed like a lost cause to me for quite some time. As of late, I\u2019ve been hearing and seeing it with a greater appreciation, probably because of one of my stepsons who plays the flute. He\u2019s just a kid, but he\u2019s got it. And because he\u2019s just a kid, and he\u2019s got it, watching him play is like watching someone perform a magic trick. If I keep watching, I might figure out how he does it and why it\u2019s worth the attention.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now fellow Townspeople, I turn to you. What cultural milestones leave you perplexed? What are the ones you can\u2019t write off so easily? Know that I look forward to your responses.<\/p>\n