Jan 262011
 

Here’s an oldie, but goodie that’s relevant today.


E. Pluribus, don’t make me call Joan Sheedy on your behalf!

Snowed-in Townspeople, let’s give Gergs the pep talk he needs to get out there and shovel. Thanks.

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  30 Responses to “THE SNOW SHOVEL SUMMONS E. PLURIBUS GERGELY!”

  1. alexmagic

    I just saw a guy outside get into a violent shouting match with a female UPS driver over claims that she hit him with her truck – didn’t see it, couldn’t vouch for either side – to the point that a well-meaning guy shoveling snow on the street came down to try to settle things, only for the yelling guy to adapt an old-timey boxing pose, then chase the snow shovel samaritan down the street, followed by three cop cars arriving and the yelling guy getting tossed in a squad car.

    I haven’t interacted much with EPG here and only met him very briefly at the RTH gathering, but he seems like the kind of guy – and I say this in the best possible sense – who would enjoy the outside chance of getting to righteously smash some crazy, abusively yelling guy over the head with a snow shovel, and the only way this can happen is to get out there and work the sidewalk.

  2. hrrundivbakshi

    I’ve been communicating with Gergs offlist, and right now he’s occupied dealing with somebody looking for one of those Scuffy Shew records he knows so much about.

    You think I’m joking!

  3. sammymaudlin

    We’ve got plenty of shovel-ready jobs out my way as well. It’s only going to get to 68 today and we need help find our hoodies.

  4. Mr. Moderator

    I’ve got Joan’s number. Does Gergs really want a 78-year-old woman to show up at his door and shovel for him?

  5. Mr. Moderator

    UPDATE: Just talked to EPG. He tells me he’s listening to Coltrane records and may get to his shoveling in an hour and a half. I’m concerned, but I’ll hold off on contacting Joan and her crew until then.

    Anyone else want to share some shoveling experiences? Maybe we have to work on the man’s sense of competition.

  6. sammymaudlin

    I just shoveled thru Fountains of Wayne’s “Welcome Interstate Manager.”

    Having hated Utopia Parkway so much that I immediately gave up on these guys, this is the first I’ve heard anything since.

    I may owe FoW an appology as although it doesn’t measure up to their first, I’m quite enjoying it.

  7. dbuskirk

    Thank goodness the old lady bought a new heavy-duty ice chipper, I thought I was going to have to pull the the music nerd substitute: an empty cassette case.

    I was digging the car out to drive an hour to do my radio show. Last night I received an e-mail at midnight from someone I don’t know, assuring me if I wanted to sleep in and relax that he’d do my show. Fat chance buddy! I do feel like a mail carrier a radio DJ should be there sleet, hail, rain or snow.

    Wasn’t that bad in the end, the roads are pretty empty and 95 is mostly clean. Blasted that new Beatles tune, less sure whether it is fake now…

  8. If none of you have a copy of “The Cats” featuring Coltrane, I strongly advise all to go out and get a copy of it ASAP. It rules.

    I’m just about done reading my umpteenth Beatles book, the new John Lennon biography by Phillip Norman. It blows. Norman’s got his head up everyone’s ass, including Freddie Lennon. Yoko’s more or less seen as a national treasure. That alone tells you how bad the book is.

    I’m really not looking forward to going out there and shoveling. The only thing that’s gonna get me through all the work is daughter #1’s iPod which I crammed with winners like “I’m Down”, “She’s a Woman”, “My Reservation’s Been Confirmed” , “8:05”, “Can’t You Hear Me Knocking”, etc. Actually, it might not be so bad out there after all.

    One more thing, I’ve finally come to the conclusion that the Jefferson Airplane is the worst band of all time, even worse than the Band or the Dead.

    After downing one more cup of coffee and taking a good shit, I’m gonna go out there and do what I have to do.

    Sincerely,
    E. Pluribus

    • 2000 Man

      It’s great to see you., but The Eagles are still the worst band of all time, even after they sucked up Joe Walsh’s superpowers. I mean, did you ever listen to The James Gang Live in Concert? Joe is plugged right into the heart of Rock itself, and just a few short years later he was standing on stage in the puddle of vomit that’s called New Kid in Town.

  9. hrrundivbakshi

    E. Pluribus Gergley proclaimed:

    One more thing, I’ve finally come to the conclusion that the Jefferson Airplane is the worst band of all time, even worse than the Band or the Dead.

    I assert:

    Plurbie, we REACH!

  10. Me and two neighbors went in on a smallish snow blower a few years ago and its great.

  11. Mr. Moderator

    I’ll check in with Plurbie shortly. I hope the phone cord reaches out to his driveway.

    I can’t wait to hear more about how bad that new Beatles book is.

  12. Hey Jimbo,

    Done. And by the way, that was homosnow out there! Puffy stuff! I could have used a paper fan to clear the driveway.

    After “shoveling” for a few minutes, I headed inside, got rid of my iPod winners, and loaded it up with Curt Boettcher fluff.

    I recall that you said you were going to shovel twice today, to make the job a little less rough. If that is so, you’re a little pussy.

    Sincerely,
    E. Pluribus

  13. Good luck, playing in the snow. We know absolutely nothing of snow shoveling in Mississippi.

    On the other hand, I can totally agree with you on your assessment of the Airplane. Aside from the hit single or two, I can live without them. Actually, I can live without those hits as well. Terrible.

    TB

  14. “homosnow”? Yeah, I think that’s what the weatherman said last night, “Gusts, of manly, hetero winds, 30-40mph at times,& a 90% chance of pussy-assed, puffy homosnow, 7″-12″ in spots. Though, we are keeping an eye out for a change-over to a heavy, wintery, wet, lesbo-mix by noon tomorrow.” I’m pretty sure that’s what they said. Yup.

  15. That’s more or less the same forecast I heard. Pretty impressive memory, my friend.

    Sincerely,
    E. Pluribus

  16. Yeah, Considering I live in Massachusetts, it’s all the more impressive. We don’t often get the same orientation of weather patterns as Tenn.

  17. Mr. Moderator

    I know we had to hit you up with some tough love, my man, but I’m proud of you for getting the job done. No need to insult the precipation that fell out your way.

    I’m going to be practicing my bowling game for WEEKS in advance of our upcoming get-together. You know how much bowling means to me.

  18. Moddy, I don’t think it’d be the SNOW feeling insulted. That was kinda my point.

  19. You know, it sure would be refreshing for someone to critically comment on the Jefferson Airplane or Grateful Dead–without sounding like someone with an irrational fear of hippies.

  20. Mr. Moderator

    Dr. John, you must have a short memory. I’ve criticized both bands – fairly and intelligently – numerous times. Check the archives.

  21. I’m heading out in a few minutes. I live in a row house so it shouldn’t be too bad but it is a necessity. I just let the dog out to pee and she took one step out the door and peed on the stoop. And I’m pretty sure she’s gotta take a dump now.

    Speaking of dumps, I’m with you on the Airplane. Maybe one and a half good songs but the rest of it? Yikes! Guess you had to be there….

  22. Mr. Moderator

    Just finished Round 1! Looks like we’re going to get another few inches, but at least I’ve got the first 18 inches out of the way.

  23. That’s what she said.

  24. Listening to Donald Fagen sing “Snowbound.” I just got an iPod. Uh-oh…It’s already full…dammit! Stay warm, fellas!

    TB

  25. diskojoe

    Here in the Witch City, it’s been dry as a bone w/a bit of flurries in the AM & nothing since. Hope you’re having fun harvesting the snow crop.

    Martin Newell is the anti-E. Pluribus Gergely. Here’s a recent newspaper column of his when the white stuff hit his beloved Wivenhoe:

    Among you taking notes, as ever, I did find it extraordinary the effect that last week’s winter weather had upon the general populace. It was interesting, for one thing, because of the news which we didn’t get. The climate change doom-mongers were oddly quiet. Nobody, so far as I know, wrote in to say that various botanical species were blooming far too early, or that the birds were already laying eggs. Flu scares abated too, the folk wisdom being that a good winter will ‘kill off all the bugs’. We’ve just had a very good example of a season doing exactly what it says on the tin.

    The spectacle of people inching cautiously along the town pavements as if they’d just undergone some particularly embarrassing surgery was a common one. The pavements were indeed tricky to negotiate. One sentiment expressed was that this was the council’s fault for not gritting them. The gritting teams, in my area at least, actually did very well under the circumstances, as did our bus-drivers. To have kept the main roads as clear as they did and to have run a bus service too was pretty impressive. Even the local trains, mostly, seemed to work. But the pavements were a problem. So, with snow having set in by Wednesday morning and having a bit of spare time, I decided to do an experiment. I went out with spade and yard broom and cleared most of the pavement on one side of my street. A helpful council worker said that I could go and get a bucket of grit from a pile behind the council offices if I wished. So, after I’d cleared, I gritted. A couple of hours work left me glowing, limbered-up and, as with gardening, I found the work strangely satsifying, since I could see where I’d been.

    In Germany, it is not the government’s job to clear the pavements, it falls to the citizens. They are required by law if it snows, to clear the pavement outside their house and that of their neighbour’s too – if the neighbour is elderly or infirm. The responses of passers-by while I was sweepng and shovelling, varied. The most common reactions were: “Thank you.” or “You’re doing a grand job.” Often, too, people stopped to talk. Two or three people said that I was taking a risk, since I could: ‘be liable if someone fell over’. I’m pretty sure that this is nonsense, and anyway, it would be interesting to be prosecuted for clearing snow, because in such an unlikely event, I would probably appeal and then, drown my opponents in all the circumfluences of a European court.

    My snow-clearing, which continued for four consecutive mornings, was to maybe plant the idea in other’s heads that they, too could be doing such a thing. If this were to happen, and everybody just cleared the area in front of their house and perhaps, one of their neighbour’s, our pavements would all be traversible. I later heard the distant sound of shovels, though, usually, it was only people trying to dig cars out of their drives. One heroic neighbour, though, off his own bat, took a wheelbarrow and gritted a large part of our sidestreet – which is on a hill. The pavements, however, mostly stayed snowbound with fresh snow mounting up on hard-packed ice. The same people who would probably complain about Nanny State’s interference were now miffed that Nanny hadn’t personally turned up outside their house with a shovel. With so many people off work, my point, I suppose, is that if you’re not doing anything else, you could probably give it twenty minutes or so outside with a brush each morning. You soon warm up, it’s not hard work and it’s cheaper than using Wii-Fit .

    In my local Co-op store, meanwhile, which did its valiant best, despite late-running supply lorries, I stood for some time behind a woman in the queue who’d just bought three loaves and what I estimated to be about a gallon of milk. She laughed: “Well, that’s my bit of panic-buying done, I can go home and watch telly now.” Now I waited while she had six Lottery tickets processed and all those of her neighbour’s too. Naturally, despite regular if late-running deliveries, the shop’s shelves were regularly stripped of milk, bread, eggs and vegetables soon after being refilled again. I allowed for those townsfolk who didn’t feel able to drive to Tesco but there did seem to be an element of unneccessary stocking-up going on. A friend of mine said she’d sat with some other people on the bus home from Colchester, all twittering excitedly: “We managed to get some food!” She also learned that those hardier souls prepared to walk a couple of miles up the track had found that the local farm shop was as well-stocked as usual.

    Now look, it wasn’t a crisis as such, it wasn’t climate change, it wasn’t the council’s fault and nor did Gordon Brown mastermind the whole thing in order to draw fire away from his own predicament. Essex just had a bit of old-fashioned, old money January weather, that’s all. In 1963, an older local recalled, the Army had to use explosives in order to blast holes in an iced-up River Colne, just so that the ships could get moving. Now that’s an extreme weather event. Can we all do a bit better next time, please?

  26. jeangray

    That Newell is one fine writer! I enjoyed that immensely.

    Oooohhhhh, and did someone on here slander Ms. Yoko One? Please sir, in the future try not to make such a cliche of yourself. It is very unbecoming.

    Sincerely,
    Jean Gray

  27. Mr. Moderator

    Just shoveled 5 inches of wet snow – and that of a neighbor’s house – before phase 2 of this latest snowstorm kicked in. How are you doing, Plurbs?

  28. Mr. Moderator

    Round 2 completed. Please don’t let us down, Plurbs.

  29. I would agree that JA is just about the worst known band out there. And I at one time had similar thoughts about GD but have since become a fan of their more bluegrass and Americana inspired work. I’d take Hot Tuna or Jerry Garcia band over either of them though. If you blend the JA JS and Starship into one band they are even worse. KBC band might help some. I like Cassadys playing and actually own his signature bass guitar

 
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