Aug 262011
 

Hey, I got your number from a buddy of mine who said you like records.I got records.  Tons of ’em… You know those plastic tubs they sell at Wallmart? I got about 10 of those… Beatles, Rolling Stones, Zep, Who, and a lot weird stuff I never heard before… Ansley Dunbar Retal… Here’s one with a girl, you can see her tits, and she’s holding an airplane… I can’t even read the name of this thing: Tales from Torpo… You just want the band’s name? You don’t want… What the…this thing’s got a big eye in the center of it, looks like somebody painted the cover…13th floor… What kind of shape are they in? Good, real good. The cases have a little wear, but the records are all stone cold mint… No, I never tried to sell ’em before, but there’s a guy comin’ here tomorrow to take a look at…

I arrived about 2 hours later to take a look at the records. The LPs, covers and discs looked like they had been used for a never-ending Frisbee golf match on the set of The Road Warrior.  That said, the 13th Floor Elevators LP looked playable. I had to come home with something to justify all the wasted time and gas. I pulled the Elevators LP out of the rubbish and said, “How about 30 bucks for this thing?” To make a long story short, he was pissed that I wasn’t interested in anything else and decided to hold onto it: “Nah,  the Pawn Stars guys paid 75 bucks for some Dylan LP that has a sloppy face painted on the cover. This here’s painted better.

When I finally got back home, my better half (I definitely married up—ask the Moderator about that whole thing), chewed me out for pissing the day away, then asked me if I wanted to watch a movie after dinner.

“Yeah, I’ll watch a movie.” (When you’re married with kids in elementary school and high school, you watch a lot of movies. You get home from work, you have dinner, you shit around, and you wind up in bed together around 9:00 pm or so to read or watch a movie. It’s not real exciting, but it’s something you look forward to after working your balls off all day long.)

“I’d watch The Kids Are Alright again,” she said, “I saw it in the theater with Mia. It’s good.” (I’m not a fan of Mia. She’s almost 50 and she hasn’t decided whether she wants to be a Web designer, caterer, or lactation consultant.)

“Who’s in it?” (Since Mia enjoyed it, it most probably has to be awful. I’m trying to justify its awfulness  by maligning the cast that was boneheaded enough to sign on for the thing).

“Mark Ruffalo [All women LOVE Mark Ruffalo. Truth be told, I like him too. He reminds me of a lot of my sister’s old high schoold boyfriends, who I liked a lot but just couldn’t get it together], Julianne Moore [whatever, although she kickstarted her career by dropping her shorts for Robert Altman, she did alright in Boogie Nights], Annette Bening…”

The damn broke. “Forget it. I can handle Mark Ruffalo and Julianne Moore, but I’m not sitting through anything with Annette Bening. Total Bimbo. She’s another one of those centerless, talentless bozos who wisely decided to take it all off to make things happen. She’s played a vapid bimbo in every vapid vehicle she’s  ever been in: The Grifters, Bugsy, American Beauty…”

“Fine. We can’t watch this, we can’t watch that. Sean Penn should never have shot higher than Spicoli, the Coen Brothers are overrated, more real effort was put into Cocktail and Roadhouse than some art house film… I’ve had it. I can’t do this anymore.”

“Yeah? [Man, it seemed like she really meant it this time. Instantaneously, I saw myself out in the middle of nowhere with all those loners who couldn’t make compromises—all those guys who were still hanging onto a lot of minutia that was totally worthless: analog, Captain Beefheart, the Stones’ Between the Buttons, sleeveless shirts…] Let me get a beer, and I’ll give this thing a shot.”

Well, we watched the movie, and lo and behold, Annette Bening was absolutely terrific. She played a control freak lesbian who wasn’t gonna let some hippie dude screw up her beautiful family. Just thinking about her performance made me break out in goosebumps. (By the way, Kris Kristofferson, who the Moderator correctly calls “the multi-untalented Kris Kristofferson,” managed to pull off a similar feat with his appearance in John Sayles’ Lone Star. Man, that’s also one hell of a movie.)

After apologizing for being a dick and thanking my ball and chain for giving me another chance, I shut the lights out and thought about how fucked up the day was, that it took Annette Bening of all people, to shed light on the fact that I had a good thing going: the ball and chain, the brats, and the ability to make compromises that keep the good thing going.

Perhaps you too have had an unlikely patron saint like Bening. If so, I’d certainly like to hear about about the angel on your shoulder and the compromises you’ve made that have saved your neck.

E. Pluribus

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  47 Responses to “Analog Assholes, Compromises, and Pleasant Surprises”

  1. You’re talking a load of bullshit about Jerry Lee Lewis and Chuck Berry in this post. Truth told, after reading that steaming duo of dung-like paragraphs, which could have been pulled, fossilized, from the corpse of Goldman himself and rehydrated for inclusion in this piece, I ceased to care where you were headed next. I will just say that you also got the name of the movie wrong. the one you named is the documentary about The Who.

  2. tonyola

    The kids might not have cared about what Jerry Lee Lewis did in his spare time, but the rack jobbers, concert promoters, radio stations, and record companies certainly cared. His antics provided wonderful cannon fodder for those who claimed that rock and roll was an evil influence and those who held the purse strings wanted as little to do as possible with someone who was suddenly so controversial. Lewis became a pariah who fell off the radar and his teenage fans turned to other artists.

  3. 2000 Man

    I can’t disagree with you about Jerry Lee, that’s for sure. His output went straight in the toilet. And thinking about:

    rack jobbers, concert promoters, radio stations, and record companies certainly cared.

    All words for “organized crime” in that era, and they would have forgiven anything to make money, they’d just charge a little more.

    I found a fistful of records at a garage sale last week. Nothing spectacular and she wanted a buck a record. I had six in my hand, and I don’t pay that much at garage sales unless they’re ridiculously clean and sort of rare, so I offered her four bucks. She said, “No dear, records are a dollar a piece.” I took two that might be upgrades and put the rest in the box. I told her, “I’m not a dealer and I have really lousy taste. Good luck selling the ones I picked.” They’re hers, and she doesn’t have to deal, but at a garage sale most people are willing to deal because the objective is to get this crap out of the house.

    And to think, just a week earlier I had a much bigger stack of records I bought for 33 cents each, in great shape. I even bought stuff just to trade in at the record store for store credit because they give me more than that.

  4. tonyola

    From Wiki:

    “The scandal followed Lewis home to America, and as a result, he was blacklisted from radio and almost vanished from the music scene. Lewis felt betrayed by numerous people who had been his supporters. Dick Clark dropped him from his shows. Lewis even felt that Sam Phillips had sold him out when the Sun Records boss released “The Return of Jerry Lee”, a bogus “interview” cut together by Jack Clement from excerpts of Lewis’s songs, which made light of his marital and publicity problems. Only Alan Freed stayed true to Jerry Lee Lewis, playing his records until Freed was removed from the air because of payola allegations.

    Jerry Lee Lewis was still under contract with Sun Records, and kept recording, regularly releasing singles. He had gone from $10,000 a night concerts to $250 a night spots in beer joints and small clubs. He had few friends at the time whom he felt he could trust. It was only through Kay Martin, the president of Lewis’s fan club, T. L. Meade, (aka Franz Douskey) a sometime Memphis musician and friend of Sam Phillips, and Gary Skala, that Lewis went back to record at Sun Records.”

  5. Tony, that’s all fine and dandy, but why is that no one bothers discussing the actual music recorded during that time? Honestly, I’d really like your opinion here.

    Sincerely,
    E. Pluribus

  6. You can’t disagree with me about Jerry Lee? What’s your take on Chuck’s post Mann Act catalog.

    As far as the yard sale thing is concerned, I always hand over the buck, even for common stuff. I figure just about anything is worth a buck.

    Looking forward to hearing from you,
    E. Pluribus

  7. tonyola

    “High School Confidential” was released one month before the scandal broke. It’s classic Jerry Lee and reached 21 on the charts. The first post-scandal single, “Break Up”, was less energetic but still decent Jerry – it wasn’t “garbage” as you claim. However, it stalled at #52. It was all downhill from there. What does it matter how good or bad his later singles were if no-one would play or promote them? Sure, he had some hardcore fans who stuck by him but his career in the spotlight was in the toilet. Blaming Jerry Lee’s fall strictly on his records is Soviet-style revisionist history of the finest order. Could it be that his records got sucky because he tanked and became dispirited?

    Besides, look at the Cashbox charts for the era. It’s not like everything in the Top 40 was great, is it? There was plenty of successful “garbage”, then as now. As ever, quality didn’t equal success. Only one lost in a fog of rose-tinted nostalgia would say otherwise.

  8. Tony,

    “Break Up” stalled at 52 because it had absolutely nothing going for it. And as far as promotion is concerned, it’s hard to get behind something that stinks. Really, listen to the thing. Is “Break Up” seen today as any sort of listening treasure? Absolutely and positively not.

    There may indeed have been a lot of garbage on the charts, but at least it was catchy garbage. “Break Up” doesn’t even have that going for it.

  9. ladymisskirroyale

    EPG, I empathize with your horrible day. I hear the irritation and anguish in your words. My only suggestion would be that after a day like that you stay away from Simon Reynold’s “Retromania: Pop Music’s Addiction to It’s Own Past.” It probably would have put you over the edge.

  10. tonyola

    You’re going to stick to your guns in the face of logic and evidence no matter what, aren’t you? I give up – I’m through arguing the point. You’re indisputably right and life’s too short. Now go blame the Democrats (or Tea Party depending on your politics) for the crabgrass in your yard.

  11. Shoot the editor for missing the spelling of that movie title!

  12. I’m happy to stay on point with the meat of this excellent piece, but I agree with you that the Scandal Montage view of rock history gets real old real fast. In England is Little Richard’s turn to church music blamed on Profumo?

  13. Bingo!

    Well done, Moderator!

    Take it!

    E. Pluribus

  14. Milady,

    That sounds like something I’d like to check out. Years ago, Sara Sherr and her former boyfriend had dinner with me, the moderator, and our wives. The majesty of Dylan, The Beatles, and the Rolling Stones meant next to nothing to her and most of her gang. Usually, I’d go apeshit as such a dismissal, but her reason for her “whatever” attitude was fairly valid. Simply put, they didn’t speak to her generation.

    Tell me where I can get that book locally.

    E. Pluribus

  15. BigSteve

    There’s a bunch of excellent singles after Johnny B Goode ( Carol, Almost Grown, Memphis, Let It Rock), but Berry didn’t go to prison till 62-63 (though the arrest had been in 59, the wheels of injustice turning slowly in his case). Even after he got out, there are still a couple of very good ones — Talking About You, Nadine, No Particular Place to Go, You Never Can Tell, and Promised Land. After 1964 there’s a real dropoff in quality. I was reading just the other day that Berry wrote Promised Land in prison, and he claims he had a hard time because they wouldn’t give him access to an atlas for fear that he would use it to plan an escape.

  16. bostonhistorian

    “Break Up” is a fine effort, but Charlie Rich is the one who really does it justice. While I realize that I like to trade in absolutes as much as the next guy, to say that “Break Up” doesn’t even qualify as “catchy garbage” makes me wonder about the scale you use to rate things.

    Also, the guy who bought the reel-to-reel can screw off. He probably reads audiophile magazines too.

  17. Boston Historian,

    Gotta point out one thing. I’m a huge Sun Records fan. Have all the stuff and have read every single scrap that’s been written about anyone who recorded for the company. My dis of “Break Up” is based on a comparision of the track with his previous hits. To these ears, it just doesn’t gel like the top ten shitkickers. That reason alone explains its low position on the charts.

  18. saturnismine

    Simon Reynold’s “Retromania: Pop Music’s Addiction to It’s Own Past.”

    I haven’t read the book. Does Reynolds think it’s a bad thing for rock musicians to continue to look to earlier examples for inspiration, or more critically speaking, for points of departure?

  19. Big Steve,

    Take a look on Wiki at Berry’s chart singles from ’60-’61. Not much happening there. What saved his ass was “Nadine” and “No Particular Place to Go”. Why? They’re winners, and they sold well. No one gave a rat’s ass about the Mann indictment. Simply put, he delivered the goods and wallets opened once again.

  20. hrrundivbakshi

    Let me start by saying that I am shocked nobody has noted that this post describes a MAJOR turning point in EPG’s life. I for one am glad that your wife finally set fire to your short hairs, told you to piss up a rope and kicked you out of bed — and I’m glad for the effect it seems to have had on you. Life is too short, and every now and then we need to open the door to shit we assume will make us want to leap out the window in agony. Life is mainly good because of pleasant surprises; we gotta be open to them.

    Anyhow, that said: “Come On” is a turd? In what freaking universe? And why the lack of love for “You Never Can Tell”? Man, I love that song. I mean I L-O-V-E that song. It’s got a rollicking New Orleans vibe to it, the lyric is to die for, the horn section cooks… what’s your problem with it?

    Lastly: a while back I posted a video of Jerry Lee performing a track in the mid-60s on some teen dance show, and it ruled. Of course, I now completely forget what the song was or where to find it. Anybody else remember what it was? I think EPG’s opinion on it would be worth reading.

  21. Hrundi,

    Let me clarify for this for the 7 billionth time. My dissing of the various recordings I’ve mentioned is based on comparative criteria, pre scandal work. “Come On” is nothing compared to “Maybellene”, “Rock and Roll Music”, “Roll Over Beethoven”, etc.

    I don’t have any problems whatsoever with “You Never Can Tell”. It’s catchy as hell and sold well despite the fact that Berry crossed over state lines with a teenager.

    As far as the Lee clip is concerned, it’s a winner.

    And just for the record, the implication that I need a kick in the ass is insulting. The ball and chain’s problem was my never ending list of checkpoints that made things difficult during movie selection time.

    E. Pluribus

  22. BigSteve

    Dude, you really need to learn how to use the reply function here.

    I was responding to what I thought was your claim that there were no good singles after Johnny B Goode. Now you seem to be saying that there were. So we, like, agree?

  23. And do me a favor,

    You’re always complaining about sitting around with the wife, watching TV shows that go nowhere. Check out “The Kids Are Alright”. There’s some pretty heavy shit going down in that thing, and I’d really appreciate your take on it.

    E. Pluribus

  24. 2000 Man

    Eh, she ticked me off. It’s her stuff, and I don’t begrudge her wanting what she’s asking. She’s not nearly as out of line as the guy with a copy of The Kingsmen’s Louie, Louie that wanted 75 bucks for a VG copy. Probably not way out of line for an original, but the bar code on the back made me suspect that he had no idea what he was talking about. I maybe should have bought the weird Allman Bros album from that first lady, though. It looked like some weird third world Greatest Hits or something and it may have been worth the buck, but I’m sure she still has it.

  25. 2000 Man

    Yeah, he could have dug a hole to China and with an atlas, he’d have known his way around!

  26. hrrundivbakshi

    You say:

    The ball and chain’s problem was my never ending list of checkpoints that made things difficult during movie selection time.

    That’s what I meant. Sorry if I sounded assholish in e-translation.

  27. I recall your saying you were going to read FIRE AND RAIN:
    The Beatles, Simon & Garfunkel, James Taylor, CSNY, and the Lost Story of 1970.

    Have you read it yet? I started the book last night. OK so far.

  28. I enjoyed Fire & Rain, better that what I had expected. The premise that 1970 is the BEST YEAR EVER was not lost on me (in fact it was the year of my birth). My favorite 1970 music is not in this book (Who’s Next, Layla, Every Picture Tells A Story, Let it Bleed) and I can’t say I knew much about or owned a James Taylor record (my mom and uncle adore him). I’ve been on a Neil Young kick and became a bigger Stephen Stills fan after reading this book. Basically, it encouraged me to revisit CSNY, S&G, JT and the first solo Beatles records over a single weekend and soak ’em in.

    Maybe these records just remind me of being a (very) little kid, or maybe they are really timeless (not sure)

  29. Hi doc,

    Right before I was gonna walk out the door to buy the thing, I decided to check out a few reviews of the book. The only one I could find was from The New York Times. The reviewer really tore it apart.

    Looks like jungleland is digging it as well. Maybe I need to give the thing a chance.

  30. DJ’s are notorious for being wannabe musicians in competition with the band. We used to play a bar in King, NC about every 6 weeks and got to be a pretty big deal. Packed houses were common and the place held 600. The DJ was a star and kept the dance floor packed between sets. Those days I was driving the truck and setting up equipment. He always had something to say about something mostly the lighting. I figured out if I checked with him on the lighting after the equipment was set up and before I went for a bite to eat, he was much easier to deal with the entire night. I’d ask, “How do those lights look to you”. He’d always suggest I aim one a little lower or higher. Occasionally he’s ask if I had a different color. I’d always eagerly comply. It took 5 minutes and made all the difference in the world.

  31. Yeah, but Jerry Lee was effectively blacklisted by the industry after the marriage. He didn’t go from $10,000 gigs to $250 dollar gigs overnight because he put out a few shitty singles. There was a time in this world when behavior or speech which was seen as “immoral” by those in power WOULD actually hurt a performer’s career, sometimes beyond repair. It DID happen, and Jerry Lee was someone to which it happened. If it happened nowadays, they’d spin it into a reality show to keep the “brand name” producing a steady cash stream.

  32. Yeah, Keith Moon’s onscreen decline over a scant few years is a terrible thing to witness.

  33. Yeah, but your dissing of those records was presented as the reason for those two artist’s careers going in the toilet. It doesn’t matter if the records were as good, worse or better than what came before them, that WAS NOT the reason for those two guys having become personae non grata in the entertainment industry. What happened to them happened too fast and was too extreme for that to be true.

  34. Bobby,

    I’ve apparently hit a nerve. All this appears to be a very serious issue with you. The only point I really cared to make is that no author has really bothered to take a look at the actual music recorded during and after the scandals.

    Furthermore:

    I apologize for the points that I tried to make. During my thought process, there were several things happening around my home that may have distracted me from a decent critique. As a fellow fan of Jerry Lee and Chuck Berry, I understand the disappointment of reading bigoraphical matter which does not accurately reflect factual info. Please let me know if you would like me to change my position to the one you currently hold.

    Feel free to shop at my eBay store where many of the post scandal Berry and Lewis titles so dear to your heart are available.

    And take a fucking chill pill for christ’s sake.

  35. I already own all of those records.

    As far as having you “change my position to the one you currently hold” and taking a chill pill goes: fuck you, too.

  36. Hey Bobby,

    Let’s forget about all this shit. Here’s something new to consider.

    In seeking out some tracks and an entire album by Jefferson Airplane last night, I came across an album by another SF band I’d always heard about but never heard, Sons of Champlin. The album I stumbled across is called Follow Your Heart. After checking it out last night, I’m tempted to say that I’ve finally found a SF band I can sink my teeth into: really soulful singing, nice ensemble playing, little of the melodrama that has always bogged me down with Jefferson Airplane. Along with the title track, I was impressed by “Children Know,” “Before You Right Now,” “Hey Children,” and “Child Continued.”

    Just some things to think about before calling it a day.

    E. Pluribus

  37. 2000 Man

    I think he’s got a really valid point in regards to Chuck Berry. Chuck had the added strike of being black against him, and some pretty damn good songs kept Chuck afloat a little longer, where Jerry Lee really didn’t seem to have much left in the tank that could help propel him out of his troubles. Maybe Jerry Lee’s situation helped lead to his less than stellar output, but I think it’s a combination.

    Anyway, I’ve never heard anyone look at their situations this way, and I can see some validity to it. I mean, it’s never just one thing.

  38. DO YOU DENY THAT WHAT ANY OF THESE MUSICIANS DID WAS IMMORAL?

    Please, don’t answer that question:)

  39. Thanks for the support, 2000 man.

    Sincerely,
    E. Pluribus

  40. ladymisskirroyale

    I’m not sure the location of your locale. We got ours at our favorite book store. It’s brand-spanking new so should be hopping off the shelves about now.

    I don’t know if it’s safe for Rock Town Hall. It may make us rethink the whole thing.

  41. ladymisskirroyale

    According to Mr. Royale who read the book and emailed with Reynolds after reading it, the central hypothesis is that we are too busy studying our belly button lint, but then videoing this process, putting it on YouTube and commenting on our belly button lint, and then blogging about the discussion of our YouTube video…Reynolds doesn’t say it’s a “bad thing for rock musicians to continue to look to earlier examples” but chides us for not thinking in new ways or futuristic ways. He posits the 90’s as being the last creative shift forward.

    I’m bound and determined to read this book, but just started the new school year, so like EPG am watching movies and in bed by 9:30.

  42. BigSteve

    But Jerry Lee was able to re-imagine himself as a country artist, and his later60/early 70s stuff is pretty great. Chuck did not choose the equivalent path, which would have been to evolve into more of a bluesman.

  43. That book sounds like a winner. Looks like I’ll be having something good to read during that post “feed the kids, shit around” downtime.

    Thanks for the suggestion, Milady!

    Sincerely,
    E. Pluribus

  44. saturnismine

    “Reynolds doesn’t say it’s a “bad thing for rock musicians to continue to look to earlier examples” but chides us for not thinking in new ways or futuristic ways.”

    What’s the difference?

  45. Berry was never that bluesy, was he? I’d think he would have done better with country too.

  46. BigSteve

    Well, Berry was on the Chess label, and there are bluesy tracks among his Chess recordings. It was part of his genius to incorporate country into his r&r, but Nashville hasn’t exactly embraced black artists, with the one exception of Charley Pride.

  47. ladymisskirroyale

    I think because Reynolds likes a lot of “earlier” music (see his previous books) but wonders why we keep rehashing the older stuff rather than trying to develop something new.

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