Jan 302007
Guys — and especially gals — I want to know: what *exactly* is wrong with the following performance? I know you’ll give me some quality thoughts on this; I trust you not to just say “it suxx!”, like some RTHers I know. I want your best.
I need to study this further, but after a few viewings, I’m severely troubled by the fact that one could drive a truck between the space in Celine Dion in which most humans have thighs.
First of all – I’m offended by the high fives and ‘C’mon girlfriend’ hand slaps everywhere (pow pow pow) – like what is THAT all about?! I would rather see Dame Edna lip-synching to Mick Jagger, actually… The worst part is the terrible air guitaring and semi-rock posturing. Not to mention the Look, it’s completely out of control. Feathered hair, giant puffy clothing, fatigues… Cojo would have a field day with this, not to mention – wait, and is that Posh Spice clapping along in the front row?! I am shaking my fists at the computer screen right now and swearing in quebecois french! “Chalice! Celine Dion!!! Chalice!” Something, just something, rubs me completely wrong about le grande fromage Dion.
Something, just something, rubs me completely wrong about le grande fromage Dion.
Funny!
The “feel good” percussion dude, really bugs me.
Who is the other chick?
Is that other gal Taylor Dayne? Too much. Too Much of Everything.
Too Much Cowbell, too Much vibe, not enough ass.
BLEH!
Yes, watching over-coiffed middle aged women bristling with jewelry and hair products who’ve had a few after dinner, dancing in the kitchen to the AC/DC their drunken husbands have put on in the living room – imitating rock, yet afraid to touch their own hair lest they get tangled on their rings, with “aren’t we naughty!” glances back and forth – *should* be both funny and sexy, so why does this fail so thoroughly? As in too many instances, the Simposons said it best: “It’s the Evil Gene. Hitler had it. Walt Disney had it. And [Celine Dion] has it.”
andyr wrote:
I’m beginning to sense, that these “feel-good” percussion dudes are a pet peeve of yours. You’ve got issues with the Clapton-related guy too, right?
Yes – The Clapton guy actually scares me. In general non-essential “feel good” muscians bug me. Put Clarence Clemons in that group too.
re: The Clapton guy actually scares me. >… do you mean Ray Cooper? He’s also the Elton John guy. He gives me the willies. He makes hitting a tambourine look like it might be the hardest, most intense thing in the world to do, and that only he can bring the finesse required. The hand-flips, etc – he really brings down “The Concert For George” for me in spots. So, I’m with Andy. That guys scares me as well…
As far this clip goes – I am torn between the opening “air guitar” Celine delivers and the Angus Young kicking as to what is more disturbing…
I’ve thought about this on and off all day because it really stuck with me. Watching it made me feel genuinely uncomfortable and somewhat embarrassed. Its easy to say it the air guitar of the Chuck Berry kicks or… But why?
I think I figured it out. Celine here makes me think of a bride to be at a good girls’ bridal shower and someone gifts the obligigatory naughty “phallus”. Then in an act of heretofore rebellion the bride to be waves it around at waist level as if pretending she had one.
(Of course, that’s not to say you have to litterally have one.)
For the record, my beefs:
Preamble: know that this clip actually — literally — made me go slack-jawed in disgust. I had one of those moments where I realized that I had been gawking at the screen in amazement, mouth dropped open, for a good three minutes or so without blinking. It was like time stood still for me, I was so transfixed by the awfulness of this spectacle. Which brings me to beef number one:
1. Spectacle: Under no circumstances should AC/DC songs ever — *ever* — be given the Vegas spectacle treatment. This is just a criminal offense against the purpose and intent of rock and roll. (Shudder.)
2. Pipes: In the same way that I would never sanction a cover of this song by, say, Ronnie James Dio, I stand foursquare against Celine’s “pipes” — or anybody else’s — taking center stage for this tune. Come on: think of Brian Johnson growling the (stupid) line: “She was double-time on the *seduction* line…” — then cue Celine’s power-ballad take. Nyyaaauugh!
3. The extreme dumbification of female sexuality: look, I — well, I mean — oh, just watch Celine Dion swirl her hips in instant-softy fashion to the words “I’m back in the ring, to take another swing.” It’s just wrong! This is like, I dunno, some kind of capitulation to the idiotic sex/pop culture that keeps men tied to the mast. Women are supposed to be smarter about this stuff, aren’t they? The only thing missing from this performance is a chorus line of Chippendale dancers in G-strings and bow ties!
4. If you’re gonna represent the sisterhood on the guitar, don’t do a crappy job reproducing a lead made famous by a leering, 50 year-old adolescent in a schoolboy uniform! That lead is just a travesty at all levels: execution, Look, tone — eccch!
5. The back up band — see beef one, above. It is *against the rules* to studiously pluck your session man Les Paul, or engage in adjunct percussion (good call, Andy!) to this song. Not allowed!
Those are a few of my beefs. I suppose I have more, but my fingers and my brain are getting tired.
It must be a matter of disposition as he makes me laugh a lot. Cooper belongs in my rarefied Hilarious Sideman pantheon along with T-Bone Wolk and Martin Chambers.
Fritz wrote:
What do you call the canons shooting off in AC/DC’s performances of “For Those About to Rock”? What do you call other razzle-dazzle effects they’ve been known to employ.
Other than that, I loved being confronted with this horrible performance, and I loved hearing everyone’s analysis. Remember, though Fritz: you owe it to us to confirm what exactly is wrong with it. I fear your laundary list of beefs is not exact enough.
Well, now — I would put arena rock theatrics in a completely different category than Vegas Spectaculars. But for the record, in my perfect rock world, AC/DC would always play in places that look like the front cover of “Let There Be Rock” — their finest album, and one that I *know* you’ve never heard!
Has the other singer been identified? Based on the credits at the end, I’m guessing Shakira?
I believe I actually saw this when it aired. Of course it’s stupid and embarrassing, but after thinking about it I don’t really find it significantly more stupid and embarrassing than ACDC performing the song. I’m just more used to their brand of embarrassing stupidity.
A lot of these comments display a real lack of tolerance bordering on homophobia. If a female impersonator wants to get up and sing rock songs, and have that kind of success, then I say keep on pushing the boundaries. I sincerely doubt he could pass in a more intimate venue though.
Now that’s funny.
I really like Dame Edna.
Plus, I’m positive that she would do a great impersonation of Jagger. It would be entertaining right up there with… watching Alan Partridge do a montage of Abba. I’d actually pay to see that in Vegas!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lLPatfDWsX0