Not sure this applies, but I *am* glad we seem to have seen the last of the "punkish urgency" descriptor. This phrase was so ubiquitous in the 80s that even as idiotic 20-somethings we made fun of it.

We could do with fewer allusions to "gutbucket" music.

Recently guilty as charged! Thanks.

Thunderous drums.

Cascades of sound.

Blistering guitar solo.

These are good ones. While we attempt to sweep out the old, feel free to suggest new, alternate phrases that rock critics may want to pick up and, eventually, drive into the ground.

A fiercely-honed attack.

An army of guitars.

haunting

Genius.

Why not replace it with the simple "great" whatever (eg, great songwriter) and all that word has come to convey?

Whiskey- soaked/drenched vocals.

I'm not ready to move beyond cliches just yet--still grading here.

Machine-gun guitar licks. also sledge-hammer guitar licks.

Can we include Lou Reed style cliches in this thread? Or is critic cliches only?

An alternative to "It's [artist's] best album since [last actually great album]" would be "I'm going to pretend [artist] has stopped sucking."

A gravelly voice.

This isn't exactly a critical cliche, though it's getting hard to distinguish critics from publicists, but I am so tired of reading about a date when a new album is scheduled to "drop."

Introspective lyrics.

Soaring harmonies.

Shambolic

Foot beef

I don't care what a band sounds like as long as they give 110 percent.

This is the best thread I've read of the several threads reposted in the last day.

Also, I believe this thread has struggled to recapture the elements that made the last thread so good, but is more mature and focused and bodes well for the growth of future threads.

Alright, I'll play.

Eclectic as an advective used when the critic can't think anyone they sound like.

Or adjective, I didn't mean to stream my comments

Licks in general, whether machine-gun or sledgehammer.

Fretwork!

Guitar work!

(Work in general, although it seems to only be used to describe guitar.)

Gumbo!

Stew!

Personally, I die inside a little every time (and it ain't often) I use a term I know someone has used before. I once made up my own cliche (describing fast playing as "lickety-split") and used it for about a year before I forced myself off it. It helps that I'm blessed with editors who will let me make up words if I need to and don't go crazy with it.

A heady mix.

Incendiary guitar.

"Sexually aware guitar style"--this phrase was actually used by Patti Smith when she was a rock critic in reference to Richard Lloyd-wtf does that even mean?

"Sexually aware guitar style"--this phrase was actually used by Patti Smith when she was a rock critic in reference to Richard Lloyd-wtf does that even mean?

I have no idea, but for what it's worth it's not a cliche.

This thread was supposed to be about suggesting alternatives to critical cliches, so let's all agree to start saying "sexually aware" guitar riffs instead of "sledge-hammer" or "machine-gun" riffs.

anyword-esque.
Beatlesque
Bowie-esque
Stonsey
Garage-y
Poppy
post-anyword
post-punk
post-prog
freak-folk
lo-fi
and the ever evolving-emo

that is, the ever evolving definition of emo

oh, and as substitutions, I offer:
Beatle-iscious
Bowie-riffic
Stone-tabulous
Garage-like
Poppish
pre-historic
ante-deluvian
etc...

Ear/bone/whatever shredding guitar.

format of pitchfork reviews:

First, steal your nephews math homework and pick the first single digit number you find. use it as the score for the record.

6.3

introduction:
Reference the bands history, with emphasis on the time when no one had heard of them.

ex. If you called Zach Moran, lead singer of the Apricrot Construct, he might just beat you up, citing the band's early history of performing before skanking audiances of aging ska-fanatics as he ripped out your thyroid.

Then, refer to previous releases, describing them using SAT words.

ex. However, on 2007's sophmore effort the band fit both the twee classification, and the sweetness implied in their name with the ambrosial "Concrete Sunrise."

Then, describe the overall sound of the album, with added emphasis on vocals, cuz, hey, that's what indie is all about. Also, cite random lyrics. insert convoluted metaphor when possible. and name drop as well.

ex. As their new self-titled album begins, we are greeted by Zach's strained, earnest, phlegmy vocalizations declaring that "my elephant's gone missing. oh dear, oh dear, what has become of my beloved elephant?" over Keith Albert's softly syncopated drum rhythm, in a manner somewhat remeniscant of Vaseline's solo work directly following the dissolution of the seminal porn-punk band, Vaseline and the Jiggily Buttfuckers. the sweetness is swept away in a matter of moments, as guitarist Melinda Malcomson's searing blasts of guitar feedback overwelhm Zach's voice in an all-consuming fire that seems to destory all traces of all Zach's innocence in moments; not unlike the blowing of seeds from a daffodil.

after repeating this for a while, offer concluding facts, with some vauge attempts to connect the record review to some bigger picture.

ex. It would be foolhardy, and perhaps even slightly audacius to hail the Apricot Construct as the first band to properly articulate the sound of the post-post-rock landscape in the midst of the greatest economic crisis the united states has seen since the great depression, but it is quite possible, and perhaps even probable, that Zach and his bands will shake off their remaining ska and queercore influences to lead the indie rock seen into the second decade of the 21st century.

I still sometimes see "angst" and I suggest that be changed to "Weltschmerz."

Also I would like to "slab" replaced by "lump".

The use of 'core' as a suffix, as in slowcore or queercore, has got to stop. I suggest as an alternative that anyone who is tempted to use that suffix should simply stop writing about music forever.

hissing fauna's pitchfork synopsis kicks ASS!

BigSteve, regarding your distaste of the 'core' suffix, I hear ya.

i think the late 80s and early 90s are when rock criticism grew into an entire branch of discourse that resembles what we're picking at now. it has something to do with the emergence of "college radio" as some sort of "alternative" to the mainstream.

the phrase that used to bug me the most from that era: "chiming guitars". also frequently abused during this period, was the term "dulcet" as in "the dulcet tones of peter buck's chiming guitars".

sandpaper vocals

banshee wail

(That one makes me laugh just typing it. I mean, come ON. Who ever says "banshee wail" -- other than comic book writers -- outside of the context of the rock criticism?)

Big Steve, that "core" crap is as bad as putting "-gate" on some political scandal.

My best friend wrote an article about Stephin Merritt a few years back making fun of rock journalism. This was his answer to all the junk he was reading. I'm sure most of you will appreciate it:

http://www.welikemedia.com/everypieceofrockjournalism.html

Enjoy!

TB

Tremendous stuff, so far! A friend of ours is scheduled to interview a certain Friend of the Hall this coming week. I'll make sure he sees the "sexually aware guitar style" quote and considers working it into his interview!

I'd like to suggest that the next time any of you critics wants to use the word "haunting," you just use "boring" instead. Thanks!

I have a bit of a problem with radio announcers who over-use, or only use, the word *track* when describing a piece of music. This seems to me the equivalent of describing every bound collection of paper as a *book* and neglecting that there are many different kinds of book. (Are you still with me?)

Track often seems a pretty empty or lazy way to describe a piece of music. Do artists write tracks? I think not. How about a little effort on the part of announcers to state what the piece of music is? A song, a ballad, a sketch, an anthem, god I don't know. A little more attention rather than the generic word *track* might even make us better listeners.

Eponymous release

Good one, 13!

Sturm und Drang.

Good one, beray! Welcome aboard. Don't be a stranger.