Mar 112021

We do it all the time: mention a band at a party, or over a beer, and somebody — probably you — will trot out some tired old anecdote involving scandal, madness, debauchery, or cruelty to show that you know what you’re supposed to know about the artist in question. Like Mikey dying from drinking a coke after eating Pop Rocks, it may or may not actually be true, but who cares? It’s a story everybody knows, so it becomes lingua franca.

But let’s make this a bit more fun, shall we? Imagine you’re at a party, and someone says:

“What was the name of that band/artist… you know, the one…”

…followed by a shallow, regurgitated bit of lore, like:

“… that shoved a freshly caught mackerel into a groupie’s cooter?”

Okay, that one is easy. But try these on for size. Or add your own! But do let us know what band or artist the party bore is jawboning about.

  1. “… where the lead singer freaked out on acid and started to believe that dogs were Gods because they were spelled the same, backwards.” — ANSWER: SKY SAXON

2. “…. where the guy killed himself by throwing himself in front of an oncoming train.”

3. “… where the guy’s mom made him get electro-shock therapy, after he tried to jump off the roof at a party.”


5. “… where the lead singer and guitarist took so many drugs, they paid to have their entire blood supply replaced, just so they’d survive touring.” — ANSWER: AEROSMITH

6. “… where the lead singer used to come out on stage wearing nothing but a bed sheet with a hole cut in it. He’d lift the sheet up while singing, and get blow jobs from the chicks in the audience. That’s why the band’s performances used to be rated X!” — ANSWER: GEORGE CLINTON

7. “…where the guy used to cut himself with broken glass on stage.” — ANSWER: IGGY POP

8. “… where the guy, like, stayed in bed for, like, ten years or something.” — ANSWER: BRIAN WILSON

9. “…where the lead guitarist used to get panties thrown at him at every show. He was like a huge sex symbol back in the 70s, but he’s a nobody now.”

10. “… where the guy supposedly had the biggest dick in show business back in the 40s and 50s.”

11. “…where the guy got so turned on by the plaster mold the ‘plaster casters’ were using to get a model of his wang, that he started fucking it!” — ANSWER: HENDRIX

I look forward to your responses.



  15 Responses to “Boring Party Lore”

  1. 12,,,where the guy asked someone to get a spoon for him to eat his Haagen Dazs and the only thing in his silverware drawer was a beat up blackened spoon which had apparently been used extensively or non-food related activities…and he proceeded to eat the pint of ice cream as if nothing was amiss.

  2. hrrundivbakshi

    Geo, you’ve got me stumped on that one. I’m going to guess — what was his name, Chris Doherty?

  3. I will tell you that this story was recounted in a fairly recent Rock memoir by a member of a band that was invited to the apartment of one of their heroes. I’d have to say it was probably credible given the subject. And it was only one of the many noteworthy elements of this encounter. The guy with the spoon had actually gotten the ice cream from the kitchen himself, then after sitting down in the living room, remarked that he would need a spoon. One of the band members offered to go get it and the hilarity ensued. He also sat and ate the pint himself while doling out wise advice to the band who, lucky for them, were not offered any ice cream.

  4. The name is Pete Doherty. It wasn’t him. You would definitely remember this guys name.

    For number 10 the apocryphal story ended with the quote, “Just take out enough to win.”

  5. H. Munster

    The first one was Sky Saxon of The Seeds.

  6. Geo is referring to a story frequently told by members of Talking Heads. The rock star with the spoon is Lou Reed.

    7 is Iggy Pop.

    8 is Brian Wilson

    9 is Peter Frampton

    10 is Milton Berle

  7. hrrundivbakshi

    H Munster is correct. Oats got Iggy and Brian Wilson, but missed the 70s sex symbol and biggest wiener in show biz subjects.

  8. Oats got the two I knew so here are some guesses:

    3. Lou Reed?

    4. Sounds like GG Allin or possibly someone fooled by Lou Reed’s onstage shenanigans

    5. Steven Tyler and Joe Perry?

    9. E. Pluribus Gergely?

    11. Hendrix? (He’s the only one who I can recall doing the plaster cast)

  9. I came across the other biggest wiener in show business contendr last night while checking for my quote, which was about Milton Berle. Forrest Tucker. Interesting rhymes for that guys name.

  10. 6. George Clinton? I read about the bedsheet stage get-up in their oral history, but nothing about the blow jobs. instead he walked out onto tables in night club seating and peed in drinks. I vaguely remember him peeing in Berry Gordy’s drink and getting dumped by Motown.

  11. hrrundivbakshi

    Geo gets 6. right.

  12. hrrundivbakshi

    cdm gets 4,5, and 11 correct!

  13. hrrundivbakshi

    Kinda surprised BigSteve doesn’t know the answer to number three.

  14. BigSteve

    Cdm already guessed Lou Reed for 3, which would have been my guess. The only other electroshock victim I can think of is Roky Erickson.

  15. hrrundivbakshi

    Coincidentally, number 3 was actually a roommate of Roky Erickson’s in 1967!

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