Greetings, seekers of the unusual, the out-of-the-way, the off-the-beaten-track… the downright cheap!

In these troubled economic times, it’s comforting to know that there’s still a world of wonderfully weird music to explore, at practically no cost, right around the corner at your local flea markets, thrift stores and garbage dumps. Please, Townepeople — won’t you give these tunes a home?

Today, I return from “Red Tag Day” in Purcellville, Virginia — a day when the whole freaking town sets its crap out on the curb with price stickers affixed. In addition to driving home with the weirdest chair I’ve ever seen in my life — a plain old folding metal chair that somebody decided to “pimp out” with racing intakes, cooling exhaust pipe and a spoiler (see below) — I also spent a few dollars on a few discs I thought I’d share.

Or, rather, discs I thought I’d share as part of a general shout-out to two of our most faithful Townsmen, Oats and 2000Man.

The first of the three tracks is from an album called “You Turn Me On!” by Ian Whitcomb. Ian Whitcomb had one minor hit with the title track from this LP, then vanished into obscurity. Before he vanished, he penned an editorial screed for the Los Angeles Times that I would love to read, as it reputedly assured his banishment from the halls of late-60s pop hipsterism. Why, you ask? Because in it, he took all the pompous, overblown pop “artistes” of the day to task for their self-important sillinesses, specifically singling out some of the most popular bands of the day and asking why they insisted on replacing good old-fashioned pop music with, you know, the likes of Procol Harum. Anyhow, as a result of this, Ian Whitcomb became dart board target #1 for the emerging “counterculture” inteligentsia. Or, at least the ones who were also music nerds.

I wish I could say that his music shows how foolish the world was for passing him over, that the “You Turn Me On!” album was his great, lasting revenge over those who shunned him. I wish I could say the album I found for 50 cents was a shimmering emerald city of pop magnificence — but I can’t. In truth, it’s pretty much awful, from one end to the other. A real turd. BUT! Hold on a second — buried in the middle of this colossal dump is a really pretty little song, that sounds to me like a long-lost out-take from the Kinks’ “Village Green” or something. Entitled River Of No Return, I present it to you all — but especially to Townsman Oats, who we all know has a huge boner for the Kinks in this era. Tell us what you think, Oats — but please leave your boner out of it.

Next up are two tracks I thought I’d post for our resident Stones obsessive, 2000Man. The first is Del Shannon’s take on Under My Thumb. To my ears, I hear nothing special — but I know (I think I know) that Del has some big fans in this Hall, and this, the InterWeb tells me, is a particularly rare track of his. So here it is.

The last of the tracks, once again posted in 2000Man’s general direction, is a foot-stompin’ cover of the Rolling Stones’ Satisfaction. Or, rather, it’s a foot-stompin’ cover of a cover of “Satisfaction,” because the performers — South Carolina frat-rockers The Swingin’ Medallions — clearly took their main inspiration from Otis Redding’s smokin’ cover of this fine tune. I gotta say, though, there are a bunch of things that work in the Swingin’ Medallions’ favor as this track compares to Otis’. Number one, it’s LOUD. Everything is LOUD on this track. The horns are loud. The screamin’ vocal is loud. The drums are loud. And — most especially — that crazy, totally out-of-tune guitar that makes an appearance after the first chorus, then again as the song fades… is really LOUD. Awesome!

Anyhow, I hope you all enjoy these three tracks. As always, your feedback — especially from you, Oats, and you, 2000Man — is gratefully appreciated.

I look forward to your responses.

HVB