May 272020
 

I don’t like Oasis. Never did, but I watched their documentary, Supersonic, a few weeks ago, and have been examining my rock ‘n roll fetishes ever since.

I thought their music was boring, but if I don’t focus on their tension-free songs (god, they could take 3 chords and stretch them like the elastic waistband on my last surviving pair of underwear from the 20th century), I can sense a faint tingle in my rock ‘n roll loins.

The stirring is the deep-set sex appeal of my Anglophilia. Some of my rock ‘n roll fetishes are rooted in my growing up an Anglophile. Rocking along to Beatles records as a little boy will do that to a grown man. Their lead singer, is it Liam, the one who trims his eyebrows and has the better hair, really puts on that insistent, droning English accent.

Oh yeah, baby, sing it like Syd Barrett crossed with John Lennon!

When all cylinders are firing, the sexier Gallagher overcomes his complete lack of stage presence by wearing round specs, like John, to go with his superior hair and Mac-wear. The guy may hunch over the mic with his hands behind his back in an “I could be doing better things with my time” way, but his Look was almost always spot on!

Let me see how you look when those glasses start to fall down the bridge of your nose. Now push them up. Oh, yeah! Now change into the blue Mac! Wait – leave on the vaguely military shirt with epaulets!

This is not a post about Oasis. I only use them as an example. The last thing I would want to see break out in this thread is some odd suggestion that their music is the UK equivalent of the relentless vibe of Tom Petty‘s Full Moon Fever. This is a post asking you to share some of your rock fetishes.

Rock ‘n roll is an entire genre set up around fetishes, but I want to bore down to your most specific ones. I’ll give you an example of a slice of broadly appealing psychedelic Anglophilia that contains something so specific that it pushes it over the edge for me. I believe they call it The Money Shot in the porn industry. After the jump…

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