Sep 022010

If you were in a band, which of the following guys would you rather have on rhythm guitar based on their Look and stage presence alone?

First, please check out Hiram Bullock making sweet, sweet love to his sunburst Strat at the 1:00 mark in the following clip:

Then, check out that guy in the back with the two-toned acoustic guitar and the colossal hat at the 00:12 mark in this next clip:

This is the opposite of a Morton’s Fork, a choice between two equally unpleasant alternatives. I don’t this there is a wrong choice here, but that should not prevent you from choosing.


  7 Responses to “The Opposite of a Morton’s Fork”

  1. Mr. Moderator

    I’ll have to say, the closed stance of each rhythm guitarist is usually a major turn off for me, but the sweet, sweet love they’re projecting justifies their stance. They’re both extremely tender ax slingers, definitely the sort who will cook breakfast for you in the morning.

    This is a tough call but I’m going with Bullock for his all-beige ensemble with seasonably white shoes.

  2. Hiram!

  3. Both guys are so completely non-descript, it’s hard to even have the energy to choose. Who’s the better unattractive leading man; David Morse or Warren Oates? Umm, either? Hiram’s swivel knee move was kind of cute, so I’ll go with him.

    Never heard this refered to as a Morton’s Fork before.

  4. I learned that term here, from the Mod, I think.

  5. Mr. Moderator

    Yes, cdm, and I learned it from someone else, who corrected me when I incorrectly used the term “Hobson’s Choice” to mean what, in fact, Morton’s Fork, means. It turns out Hobson’s Choice is an actual choice that’s made based solely on the nearest of equally unpleasant alternatives. It was probably BigSteve who pulled the Pince Nez on me, and that’s cool because I had it coming to me.

    In the coming days the RTH Glossary will unveil a new term, which will concisely describe the “opposite of a Morton’s Fork.” This term is derived from one of your old jokes, chickenfrank, if memory serves.

  6. mikeydread

    Hiram does a mean swivel, could have patented that move.

    I like the way that guy Lindley insinuates himself into the sound, just staying in the background.

    And I think I have realised something about a certain kind of modern female singer. The kind that runs rampant up and down the scales in search of the note but never settles on it. The kind that is the model for American Idol wannabes. I am going to call it the Curse of the Backing Singer, because that’s what Curtis’s sidekick comes across as: a backing singer given three minutes up front – and baby, they ain’t gonna waste this chance!

  7. That’s one hit wonder Taylor Dayne.

    It’s funny, I really didn’t like her based on the one or two song that I’ve heard from her in the past but I thought her vocals in the clip were decent enough. Maybe it’s the quality of the song. Or maybe I’m slowly being conditioned after years of being bludgeoned with American Idol type vocals that are all technique and faux emotion but which contain no soul whatsoever.

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