Sep 112007
 

It’s time, people… time to TAKE RTH TO A WHOLE ‘NOTHER FUCKING LEVEL! Time to RAMP UP THE INTENSITY TO THE EXTREME! Time to KICK SOME MUTHA-FUCKIN’ AY-UHSSSSS! Time to DECIDE WHAT KIND OF BREAKFAST CEREAL YOUR FAVORITE ROCK BAND WOULD BE IF IT WERE, LIKE, TOTALLY A BREAKFAST CEREAL! TO THE MAX!!!!!!!!

Beatles
Rolling Stones
Kinks
Dylan
Van Fucking Halen
ZZ Top
Prince
ELO
Lou Reed
Television
Elvis Costello
Walter Becker’s Beard

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  17 Responses to “To the Extreme: Breakfast Cereal!”

  1. Mr. Moderator

    Beatles: Apple Jacks
    Rolling Stones: Sugar Smacks
    Kinks: Special K
    Dylan: Cream of Wheat
    Van Fucking Halen: Fruity Pebbles
    ZZ Top: Gruel (whatever the fuck that is)
    Prince: One of those assorted packs of single-serving boxes, sure to include Fruit Loops
    ELO: Lucky Charms
    Lou Reed: Count Chocula
    Television: Sugar ‘n Spikes
    Elvis Costello: Cap’n Crunch
    Walter Becker’s Beard: Bulk granola

  2. sammymaudlin

    XTC- Quisp

    That video is brilliant. I’m equally impressed and insulted. Bravo.

  3. mockcarr

    Beatles – Apple Cinnamon Cheerios
    Rolling Stones – Grape Nuts
    Kinks – Wheetabix
    Dylan – Life
    Van Fucking Halen – Cookie Crisp
    ZZ Top – Capn Crunch w/Crunchberries
    Prince – Pink Panther Flakes
    ELO – Frosted Mini Wheats
    Lou Reed – Freakies
    Television – Spongebob Squarepants Cereal
    Elvis Costello – Alpha Bits
    Walter Becker’s Beard – Elaborate mixture of many varieties of Chex

  4. hrrundivbakshi

    Mod sez:

    ZZ Top: Gruel (whatever the fuck that is)

    I say:

    LOL!

  5. hrrundivbakshi

    I am shocked and pleased at how interesting your answers are. Mine follow below:

    Beatles: Cornflakes with fresh fruit
    Stones: Honeycomb
    Kinks: Frosted Mini-Wheats
    Dylan: Gotta agree with my man Mockcarr — Life
    Van Fucking Halen — Cap’n Crunh with Crunchberries
    ZZ Top — Cocoa Puffs
    Prince — One single shredded wheat square, floating in a pool of rosewater and garnished with a bee’s wing
    ELO — Boo-berry
    Lou Reed — Kellog’s All-Bran
    Television — Cinnamon Toast Crunch
    Elvis Costello — Crispix
    Walter Becker’s Beard — Just milk, no cereal please

  6. Mr. Moderator

    Excellent choice for Prince, Hrrundi! You have returned the laugh in kind.

    Life was a real good call for Dylan. I knew Mockcarr had been silent for good reason over the last couple of weeks.

    Quisp is definitely the cereal of choice among Prock artists. (We really do need to hammer out that Glossary term one of these days…)

  7. 2000 Man

    Those damned East Siders and their cable access shows! Fortunately, I didn’t have to watch that one as it wasn’t shown on my side of the river. Probably a good thing because I’d have watched crap like that until my eyeballs melted out.

    Beatles – Cheerios
    Rolling Stones – Mueslix (was Bourbon)
    Kinks – Special K
    Dylan – King Vitamin
    Van Fucking Halen – Coco Puffs
    ZZ Top – Lucky Charms
    Prince – Fruity Pebbles
    ELO – Product 19
    Lou Reed – Fruit Brute
    Television – Trix
    Elvis Costello – Cap’n Crunch
    Walter Becker’s Beard – Puffa Puffa Rice

  8. I don’t have to watch ZZ Top eat cereal do I?

  9. I’m not sure what cereal Elvis Costello would be – but whatever it is, after a little shelflife it will be re-packaged with added bonus flakes, and then after some more shelflife it will be re-re-packaged with even more bonus flakes.

  10. alexmagic

    Finally, the topic I registered on this site hoping to discuss!

    Beatles:
    Please Please Me to Beatles For Sale Era – Rice Krispies
    Help to Revolver Era – Cocoa Krispies
    Sgt. Pepper sessions – Marshmallow Rice Krispies
    Magical Mystery Tour sessions – Marshmallow Rice Krispies w/ side of grapefruit
    Magical Mystery Tour sessions as presented in True German Sound – Dr. Oetker Vitalis Knusper Kissen
    White Album through Abbey Road years – Berry Rice Krispies and cigarettes
    Jimmy Nicol tour – Rice Bubbles
    Rolling Stones:
    Brian Jones Era: Cheerios
    Mick Taylor Era: Honey Nut Cheerios
    Ron Wood Era: Toasty O’s by the Malt-O-Meal Company of Minneapolis, MN
    Kinks – Golden Grahams
    Dylan – Raisin Bran
    Van Fucking Halen – Diamond Dave would agree with the Crunchberries comparison, because that shit’ll tear up the roof of your mouth and you’ll love it anyway, pal. DLR himself, however, would be cold pizza in bed with three women, served to you by a midget wearing a silk kimono and a Napoleon hat.
    ZZ Top – I stand by the Shredded Wheat comparison on multiple levels
    Prince – Kashi Good Friends Cereal
    ELO – Agreed, Boo-Berry
    Lou Reed – Congealing Cream of Wheat, sliding down the wall it was thrown against in anger
    Television – Brunch
    Elvis Costello:
    Desperate, angry, young Costello – Apple Jacks
    Older, smug, designer eyewear-sporting turd – You know what? I’m not even hungry anymore. I think I’ll just skip breakfast, thank you.
    Walter Becker’s Beard – Weetabix Gold

  11. mockcarr

    From micheal k –

    I’m not sure what cereal Elvis Costello would be – but whatever it is, after a little shelflife it will be re-packaged with added bonus flakes, and then after some more shelflife it will be re-re-packaged with even more bonus flakes.

    They’d say 40 percent more stale, crappy cereal for the new ridiculous price! Perhaps Declan Dynamite could be like Lucky Charms, and they could keep adding new colors on the damned marshmellows, the shape depending on what mistake the machine made that month.

    I really wanted to say Trix for someone but which band is for kids? The Archies?

  12. Mr. Moderator

    Isn’t Trix for kids? I’m thinking Avril Lavigne.

  13. sammymaudlin

    New York Dolls- Trix

  14. Now look. I can tolerate, if just barely, the idea of grown men comparing rock bands to cereals during their boring workdays. But when you start taking potshots at my girl Lavigne, that’s where I draw the line.

  15. sammymaudlin

    Lou Reed- Krusty-O’s

  16. By the way, I wish that choice about songs regarding sports and competition had been up at the poll earlier. I didn’t think of it, obviously, but I sure would have voted for it if I had.

  17. Beatles – Circus Fun or Cap’N Crunch

    Rolling Stones – then: Cocoa Pebbles, now: Cream of Wheat or Fiber One

    Kinks – Frosted Flakes

    Dylan – Meuslix

    Van Fucking Halen – Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs (courtesy of Calvin & Hobbes)

    ZZ Top – Gorilla Munch

    Prince – Nut N’ Honey

    ELO – Fruity Pebbles

    Lou Reed – Franken Berry

    Television – Smacks

    Elvis Costello – Alpha Bits

    Walter Becker’s Beard – Mud & Bugs (Disney/Kellog’s)

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