Mar 052012
Charmin of the Board!
A (long) while ago, we amused ourselves by applying the punny principle behind America’s most beloved free-with-inedible-bubblegum stickers — the “Wacky Packages” of years gone by — to rock band names. To my mind, this was a delightful waste of time — so much so that I’m calling out Mockcarr, Alexmagic, and all our finest punsters to contemplate Wacky-Packed versions of our favorite artists, albums and songs in the soul music canon. I’ll start with a famous soulful song of the ’60s:
- “Schlock of the Bay”
I look forward to your responses.
HVB
Not coming up with much, this isn’t really my genre.
Psycho’s Derelict Shack by the Temp Patients?
There’s no doubt that they would have had “Going to a Goo-Goo” with a wrapper depicting babies playing drums with rattles and the others pretty much bawling and throwing spoonsful of pablum around.
I see it now!
Songs in the Key of Strife by Stevie Blunder
Since I Lost My Gravy
The cartoon Temptations would look very sad indeed as the nearly empty capsized boat gushes off the edge of the dinner table to a puddle on the floor.
“Chain of Stool,” Urethra Franklin
Get Off of My Clown!
Fly-Specked by Urethra Notthin or Oh-this Redthing
sorry it’s not soul. oops…
Too many could end in poo,but I’ve Been Loving Poo Too Long cracks me up regardless.
Don’t forget that holiday favorite by Redthing, “I Can’t Burn the Goose”
Spittin’ Off The Dock Of The Bay
“Green Outputs” Booger T & the M.T. (Sinuses)
Bowl Man
I Even Ate the Grapevine by Starvin’ Gaye
“(You Make Me Peel Like) A Natural Onion”
“Too Busy Stinking Up My Baby”
What’d I See
Snot Gun by Sham and Dave.
Wacky Pince-Nez! That would be “Snot Gun” by Junior Gawker.
Don’t sweat it. As Kurdish Big Wheel and the Sex Sessions once sang, “Keep on Pushin’.”
Here’s one just for you HVB, Crester Love. I think you know what that picture would look like, a steamin’ pile visible over the water line of the bowl, and Smokey truly acting like it was a miracle!
On an angling theme:
My Sole Man’s a Dustman by Lonnie Donegan and his mate Salmon Dave
Hake Me To The River
Mr Pike-iful
Sittin’ on the Haddock of the Bay
“Ain’t Been Taught to Beg” by the Dalmatians
I like!
I also like!
A little James Brown for y’all
Sneeze, Sneeze, Sneeze
I Feel Goo
Get Up Off A That Throne
I delivered a truly awesome crester the other day, and felt proud. I felt like this dude: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ILuqDkiZNVc&feature=related
Yes!
Putrid, by Sam Cooked
Nominee for the “Original Spirit” award, celebrating those entries that most closely conform to the style of the original Wacky pack series!
Boy humor at it’s finest!
Don’t You Worry ‘Bout a String – Kotex Blunder
I always mix that one up with “Let Go, I’m Leaving!”
Haha! I like that one!
Didn’t I Blow Your Mind by The Smellfonics.
I only seem to remember Wacky Packs about snot.
And I thought that one might be too obtuse!
Lipstick Traces (On A Toilet) – The Oh No’Jays
When A Man Loves a Wet Mop – Percy Sludge
What Becomes of the Bloke Who Farted? – Trousers Rufflin’
Booger Wonderland – Break Wind like Fire
LOL!
Another Original Spirit Award finalist!
I Heard It Through The Drainpipe – Gladyts Shite & The Piss
Infect Yourself – The Pimple Singers
Plop ‘Em Good – Eddie Rhoid
Beat It – Michael Jacksoff
I know you’ve all moved on to other threads, but I note that we have no mention of two great tunes:
Sir Dookey
and
Ewww Poop Doo Doo
Both produced, no doubt, by Dingleberry Gordy.