Telltale Signs of a Rock ‘n Roll Asshole

 Posted by
May 032011
 

OK, musical tastes aside—and in full acknowledgment that your humble Moderator is not that cool—how many telltale signs of a rock ‘n roll asshole can you spot in this “Super Boogie” clip?

Before anyone gets high and mighty and accuses me of never having made a living off playing music like these super-duper road warriors—Jeff Beck, Carlos Santana, and Steve Lukather—and therefore am not qualified to hold an opinon on this matter, can we have a moment of honesty? Come on, even if you’re having fun and think you’ve earned the right to pull off some of these moves, such as tucking your jeans into your boots, deep down you know you’re pushing it, right?

So go ahead, these guys are big boys, they can take it. See how many rock ‘n roll asshole moves (ie, gestures, dress, gear accoutrements, faces, licks, etc) you can spot!

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Artist You’ve Somehow Managed Not to Hear, and What You Imagine Their Music Would Sound Like

 Posted by
May 032011
 

The Sound of Smog?

I’ve been reading about Bill Callahan and Smog for at least 10 years without ever knowningly hearing a single song by the man. I know more of his backstory than I have any business knowing. I know he’s amazing. I don’t know what he actually sounds like.

I have, however, developed an image in my mind of what his music probably sounds like: Fred Sanford‘s musty, roll-neck cardigan.

How about you? Is there an artist you’ve somehow managed not to ever consciously hear while creating a picture in your mind’s ear of how that artist’s music might sound? Do tell.

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This Is Your Rock Town Hall

 Posted by
May 022011
 

Speechless?

This is your Rock Town Hall!

If you’ve already got Back Office privileges and can initiate threads, by all means use your privileges! If you’d like to acquire such privileges, let us know. If you’ve got a comment that needs to be made, what are you waiting for? If you’re just dropping in and find yourself feeling the need to scat, don’t hesitate to register and post your thoughts. The world of intelligent rock discussion benefits from your participation. If nothing else, your own Mr. Moderator gets a day off from himself. It’s a good thing for you as well as me!

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The Craigslist List of Lies

 Posted by
May 012011
 

The following piece was submitted by Townsman chickenfrank, who’s currently “not looking.”

Anyone considering trying to join a band by responding to a Craigslist ad may benefit from my experience. First, it’s difficult to find a band that list influences that appeal to your taste. I’ve seen many ads list a dozen influences, and I’ve never heard of any of them. I don’t know why, but a surprising number of auditioning bands have difficulty with the tricky spelling of the word “rhythm” in their ad. You also need to be sure that you match the band’s listed criteria for a potential member. Be prepared; most bands lie. To help, I offer the following interpretations of the common phrases I’ve found in band ads. You’re welcome.

  • What ad says: Must have own transportation
  • What ad means: We need someone to haul the PA to the VFW hall for us.
  • What ad says: No Egos
  • What ad means: Must obey me.
  • What ad says: Have our own rehearsal space
  • What ad means: I live with my mother.

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