We feel it would be of benefit for those of us who feel compelled to tune in for at least a stretch of the GRAMMYS to have a “treasure hunt”-style checklist of expected moments to track. Perhaps you will want to take a drink whenever one of these Obligatory GRAMMYS Moments takes place, but that is optional.

Things we expect to add to this list, which we will make available as a downloadable .pdf document, include the following:

• First wasted acceptance speech
• Artist joined, in mid-song, by a robed choir
• Sting’s slow-motion prance, long coat flapping as his knees kick up, during an instrumental break in “Walking on the Moon”
• First presenter given the “hook” for going on too long with acceptance speech
• Award winner/performer thanks the Lord
• Award winner/performer thanks a lord other than Jesus, such as Zeus or Poseidon
• Each time a Beyonce/Shakira/Jessica/J-Lo/Fergie of the night employs the bowling pin alignment dance arrangement: Big star in front, 2 dancers behind her, 3 dancers behind them forming a triangle of dancers all doing the same steps
• All-star tribute to James Brown (led by Red Hot Chilli Peppers and Sting)
• Performer who offers the most awkward and inelegant “I’m for the troops, but against the war” to court both liberals and conservatives
• First artist to get BLEEPED during presentation/performance
• First artist to slip a curse word by the censors

You get the idea. Please help add to this list. Ideally we’ll come up with a list to publish here later tonight. Thanks!

I was thinking about The Trashcan Sinatras the other day. Now some of you may not even know who they are and some of you may not even care. And perhaps a few of you on here may even already know them and like them. They’re a Scottish indie-pop band who have been around since the late ’80s. As evidenced by the video above for their 1993 single “Hayfever”, they were often tagged in the press as “the poor man’s Smiths”. Of course this isn’t entirely accurate. Sure some of their material bears more than a passing resemblance to that of Morrissey and Marr, but more often than not, it can also resemble bands as diverse as Aztec Camera, Prefab Sprout, The Housemartins (and by extension, The Beautiful South) and Orange Juice while simultaneously forging a unique identity all their own.

After an 8-year hiatus, The Trashcan Sinatras came back in 2004 with the masterful Weightlifting, showing a depth, maturity, and poise that can only come with age and experience. In that way they’re similar to Nick Lowe’s more recent records in that they’re definitely about making music for adults, but not in the generic adult-contemporary sense of the word. Now I know a lot of you dislike The Smiths and other similar artists, but other than going on about the greatness of The Trashcan Sinatras, there’s another, more pressing (and more vital to RTH) question at the heart of this post.

What bands that are generally considered “2nd division” do you like better than those to whom they get compared to? Are you a bigger Undertones fan than a Ramones fan (as I am)? Do you prefer The Kinks or even The Small Faces to the Fab Four or The Stones? Survivor to Journey? I think you see my point here. I look forward to seeing your responses on this topic.

To set the tone, Townswoman Crystal puts the spotlight on GRAMMYS acceptance speeches. This is just one of many keys we will offer to enable you to experience maximum enjoyment of this otherwise obligatory event.

“Wu Tang is for the Children,” ODB once said as he interrupted Shawn Colvin’s “Sonny Came Home” acceptance speech. It was probably the most exciting thing said during the 1998 GRAMMYS. In doing research for the exciting GRAMMY speech, they all tend to be the same. It’s about God or their Mom. There are tons of tears and “Oh, I didn’t except this.” There is little mention on the web of speeches pre-1987. I guess artists weren’t allowed to talk or there are no transcripts. I’m dying to get a hold of one for Barbara Streisand’s Lifetime Achievement Award.
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