What aspiring musician hasn’t been lectured by at least one parent to stay in school and make sure to have a “fall-back plan” if rock ‘n roll dreams don’t come true? I’m sure I’m not the only once-aspiring rocker among you who maintained the slightest connection to some, at best, some half-assed fall-back plan. Thank goodness, because I’d dug myself into enough of a financial and emotional rut during my years of chasing The Dream.
We know that some successful rock ‘n rollers had a full-blown fall-back plan, like London School of Economics student Mick Jagger. We can be certain that the founding members of Genesis likely were prepared to fall back on paths leading to eventual seats in the British Parliament. Chuck Berry and Ringo Starr were prepared to be hairdressers or something, right? Skunk Baxter could turn to designing weapons of mass destruction if the rock ‘n roll thing didn’t pan out.
What might the fall-back plans of any of the following dyed-in-the-wool musicians/rock icons have been? Perhaps you really know what alternate skills they had in their back pocket, or perhaps you’d like to speculate…after the jump!
- Elvis Presley
- Bo Diddley
- Ronnie Spector
- Mike Love
- Bob Dylan
- Jeff Beck
- Jimi Hendrix
- Jon Anderson
- Angus Young
- Joey Ramone
- Slash
- Bjork
- Jack White
- Bob Seger
Who knows, for a couple of these artists it may not be too late!
Bjork: working at an airport to scare birds away from the runways.
Bo Diddley: I see him running a BBQ joint.
Elvis: truck driver
Angus Young: jockey
Mike Love: O.J. Simpson’s pool house tenant.
One of my favorites is Amelia Fletcher who has been in a string of great pop bands: Talulah Gosh, Heavenly, Marine Research, among others. She also has a PhD in Economics from Oxford and serves as chief economist at the Office of Fair Trading for the British Government. Over achiever!
Elvis Presley
Regional manager of Big Star grocery chain.
Bo Diddley
Gravel or pulp wood truck driver.
Ronnie Spector
Perfume girl for large department store chain.
Mike Love
Used car salesman.
Bob Dylan
Hobo. That’s not really a profession, so perhaps he’d be a carpenter.
Jeff Beck
Painter. Fine arts painter.
Jimi Hendrix
History professor.
Jon Anderson
Science fiction author of popular “series” of some sort.
Angus Young
Half of comedy team with Yahoo Serious. Australian slapstick!
Joey Ramone
Club/bar owner.
Slash
Gas station attendant.
Bjork
She’d be a Muppet.
Jack White
Automobile engine builder.
Bob Seger
Plumber. Bob the Plumber.
TB
Elvis Presley – Minister
Bo Diddley – Repairman who fixes appliances or watches or cars.
Ronnie Spector – Nurse
Mike Love – Cheesy low level marketing guy who says things like “Make it a great day” at the end of his outgoing phone messages
Bob Dylan – Grumpy professor
Jeff Beck – Owner of a garage or possibly an exotic car dealership
Jimi Hendrix – Social worker or bartender
Angus Young – Municipal clerk
Joey Ramone – Disability
Slash – Some kind of mid level white collar job, maybe in commercial real estate or finance
Jon Anderson – writer of whimsical children’s books
Bjork – illustrator of whimsical children’s books
Jack White – Clerk in a used record store who makes you feel inadequate about your purchases.
Bob Seger – Second shift drill press operator with aspirations to make shift manager someday
* Elvis Presley — UPS guy
* Bo Diddley — Soul food rstaurant owner
* Ronnie Spector — Department store cashier
* Mike Love — Mega-church preacher
* Bob Dylan — Cobbler
* Jeff Beck — Avionics engineer
* Jimi Hendrix — Weird bookstore employee
* Jon Anderson — Art history professor
* Angus Young — Landscaping employee
* Joey Ramone — Burger joint employee
* Slash — Exotic car salesman
* Bjork — Housewife
* Jack White — Irritating graphic designer
* Bob Seger — UAW shop steward!
* Elvis Presley-truck driver
* Bo Diddley-pawn broker
* Ronnie Spector-mom
* Mike Love-aluminum siding
installer
* Bob Dylan-bullshit poli-sci
professor
* Jeff Beck-haberdasher
* Jimi Hendrix-unemployed mostley
* Jon Anderson-spa owner
* Angus Young-drains, gutters,
windows
* Joey Ramone-produce dept.
* Slash-manager of a rock and roll
band
* Bjork-sculptor of shitty
sculptures
* Jack White-computer animator
* Bob Seger-union electrician
shawnkilroy, I thought these were great:
* Angus Young-drains, gutters,
windows
* Joey Ramone-produce dept.
… and especially:
* Bjork-sculptor of shitty
sculptures
Elvis Presley – Okra farmer
Bo Diddley – Beer Distributor
Ronnie Spector – Manicurist
Mike Love – Mall Cop
Bob Dylan – Yegg
Jeff Beck – Straight man for some really bad comedian named Call in a British act.
Jimi Hendrix – Cal Tech Physicist
Jon Anderson – Corporate Lawyer
Angus Young – Shoe Salesman
Joey Ramone – NYC peep-show owner, I mean, think about his last name. Narrowly loses mayor race with his “Dirty up Times Square” campaign against Giuliani.
Slash – Garbage Man
Bjork – Pumice sculpter
Jack White – Marlins/Red Sox pitcher
Bob Seger – Gym teacher
Sorry Kilroy, I was writing this before I saw yours.
Elvis Presley – Master of Kung Fu/assassin for Richard Nixon or head of actual, literal Memphis mafia
Bo Diddley – Successful traveling salesman who would eventually have his life savings stolen as part of a con by a sinister grifter and FBI’s most wanted list fixture named Charles H. “Buddy” Holly.
Ronnie Spector – Wife of NYPD Officer Edward “Ed” Money and head of the annual Policeman’s Ball committee. Every year, she’d have to talk Ed out of trying out for the police motorcycle unit’s stunt team, because he’d always think it was “friggin’ cool” how they’d get their police cycles in that giant pyramid formation. Eventually, Ronnie’s work chairing the Policeman’s Ball would lead to her running for a City Council spot. She’d lose the first time, but Ed’s near brush with death during patrol would spur her to become a major voice in pushing to take back the streets and she would win that Council spot in the next election. Officer Money would later be quoted as saying that “the City needs her, but she’ll always be my little baby.”
Mike Love – Cult leader
Bob Dylan – Sarcastic copy editor for a medical textbook publisher
Jeff Beck – I dunno, something boring, possibly involving exotic cars
Jimi Hendrix – Would have stayed in the Air Force longer and eventually become one of those military advisors for Hollywood movies. Would write an interesting memoir of questionable veracity about his military and Hollywood experience that would lead to a career in writing strange, psychedelic science fiction novels.
Jon Anderson – Semi-professional British darts player and pub quiz regular specializing in questions about (English) football and Dr. Who.
Angus Young – The Toecutter from Mad Max
Joey Ramone – Comic book writer and Rock Town Hall Townsman who would refuse to move from the ListServ version of RTH to the web version.
Slash – Bartender
Bjork – Cat Lady
Jack White – Civil war re-enactor
Bob Seger – we did a similar thread before where I thought Seger would have been a union guy in Flint who GM CEO Roger Smith would have paid to beat Michael Moore to death with a tire iron, but I’m changing my answer this time to a cab driver who helps people with their problems and solves crime.
Kudos, Alex. You’ve really thought these things through.
TB
Elvis: Truck driver (that was his last job, wasn’t it?)
Bo Diddley: Liquor store owner
Ronnie Spector: Girl Friday
Mike Love: Door-to-door Bible salesman
Bob Dylan: Bullshit English lit professor
Jeff Beck: Auto mechanic (obvious, no?)
Jimi Hendrix: Drift for a few years, then back into the Army
Jon Anderson: New Age guru
Angus Young: Handyman
Joey Ramone: One of those guys you always see in the bar and never quite know what he does – possible disability fraud
Slash: Unhelpful guitar-store employee
Bjork: On the dole; tells everyone she makes short video films but no one ever actually sees them
Jack White: I can’t beat “Clerk in a used record store who makes you feel inadequate about your purchases.”
Bob Seger: UAW line worker, naturally
These can only hope to be half as good as some of the stuff you guys are coming up with.
* Elvis Presley — Author of factually suspect Arthur Crudup biography
* Bo Diddley — Cornerman
* Ronnie Spector — Brilliant but mentally unstable record producer
* Mike Love — Insult comic
* Bob Dylan — Bullshit philosophy professor
* Jeff Beck — Video game designer
* Jimi Hendrix — Fashion designer
* Jon Anderson — Yoga instructor
* Angus Young — Australian sitcom writer
* Joey Ramone — Genome scientist
* Slash — Barback
* Bjork — High school art teacher
* Jack White — Vintage clothing store owner
* Bob Seger — CEO of Fortune 500 company
I recently heard a quote in which the gist was suggesting that:
“Artists should never have a back-up plan because you will be tempted to fall back on it.”
Weird, I was just reading Richard Thompason’s website, where in his most recent Q&A he addresses this issue:
As a fan at School leaving age and unsure about what to do with my future, i was wondering if you faced a dillemma after coming to the end of your time in compulsory education, was it a straight decision between playing music for a living or getting a ‘proper job’? or was it more complicated than that? thanks, John
I was playing quite a lot of shows with Fairport in my last year of school. I then took a design job for 6 months, still playing a lot in the evenings. We then turned ‘pro’ and put ourselves on a wage (12 quid a week). It was a smooth transition, because there was a lot of work around. I told myself that it would be great fun while it lasted, but at some point I’d go back to University, or Art School, and get a real job. here I am, 40-odd years later. Amazing. I have a son just leaving school, whom I’m sure would love to go straight on the road, and if the work was there, I’d say fine. It’s a different economy now though. Music jobs, and even temp jobs to pay the rent while you play music, are harder to come by. A journalist explained it to me thus:
1950s/early 60s – leave school at 16 and go straight into music
Mid-60s- mid 70s – complete school then go straight into music
Mid-70s – 80s – form band at university, leave after 1 or 2 years
90s – complete university, then go into music
00s – complete university, get a dot com job for 5 years, then go into music
A little cynical, but the curve seems to be true. If the work is there, or some way to support yourself while playing, then why not do what you love? If there is no work, then take the conventional route, and keep working on your skills until the time is right for you to explode onto the music scene with huge undeniable talent!
1.Elvis Presley
Gets drafted, reenlists, does tour of Vietnam, establishes himself as a spokesmen for Vets.
2. Bo Diddley
Cab driver
3. Ronnie Spector
Diner waitress
4. Mike Love
regional TV dance show host
5. Bob Dylan
religious cult leader
6. Jeff Beck
Vintage automobile restorer
7. Jimi Hendrix
Richard Pryor’s drug dealer/personal assistant
8. Jon Anderson
ice skater
9. Angus Young
fish monger
10. Joey Ramone
Will write tell all book about the seediness of hot dog carts in NYC and then get hired by The Food Network to travel about the world finding the great vendor carts in various countries.
11. Slash
strip club owner
12. Bjork
Sports team mascot
13. Jack White
Established a Detroit “scene” blog with Mick Collins. The two have a falling out. Each tries to prove they have the real “cred”. A White-Collins rivalry plays out. White gets auto endorsement deal out of his blog. Nobody cares.
14.Bob Seger
Owns local Detroit alternative arts weekly. Fires staff, hires stringers, becomes topic of abuse for White and Collins. Nobody cares.
I almost spit beef boullion through my nose while laughing at the thought of Jon Anderson as an ice skater! Bravo to all of you who have contributed so far. Keep ’em coming!
Yeah, alexmagic, Joey’s not budging from the basement!
Elvis Presley: Truck driver. Of course, it that doesn’t work out you could always invent rock and roll.
Bo Diddley: Cabbie
Ronnie Spector: Mystic
Mike Love: House painter
Bob Dylan: Old-school preacher
Jeff Beck: Computer salesman
Jimi Hendrix: Hair dresser. The ladies would be queuing around the block.
:
Jon Anderson: Ladder salesman
Angus Young: Council noise abatement officer
Joey Ramone: Unemployed
Slash: Unemployable
Bjork: Cabaret dancer
Jack White: Tailor
Bob Seger: Bouncer