Dec 032007



Sorry to hijack this thread, Mod, but come on: this “best of the Zeez versus best of Thorogood” concept was dead on arrival. Why? Because the Reverend Billy G and company are so far superior to General George and his band of frat-boy blooz abyoozers that it just ain’t fair to throw them both in the steel cage at the same time. Now, a Handicap Match — *that* might be a little more balanced. So here’s what I propose: I’ve gathered a choice selection of tracks — six, as you requested originally — from across ZZ Top’s career, and they’re making their way to the ring. But note: these are tracks few may have heard; they’re some of the deepest of ZZ’s Deep Traxx. No hits, but, as always, huge chunks of funk and tons of Texas ‘tude. I feel certain they’ll still mop up the ring with the *best* your lame-ass, stogie-chompin’, Mid-Atlantic has-been can offer. Bring it on!

In chronological order, then, here are the members of ZZ Top’s six-man tag team of undeniably rockin’ obscurities:

Salt Lick — from ZZ Top’s first single. Just wanted to prove that this band *always* had what it takes to stomp a mud-hole in Thorogood’s ass.

Move Me On Down the Line — from ZZ Top’s Texas nationalist masterpiece “Tres Hombres.” Smokin’!

Have You Heard — also from “Tres Hombres,” but this time a deep, blue testament to the band’s abiding love for red-state, colorblind, gospel preacherman music.

Moving forward a year or two, from “Fandango!”, a live track that documents just what a monster rock machine these guys were live: Thunderbird. The actual performance, while fun, is sloppy as all hell, but that entrance — POW, right between the eyes!

From the underappreciated “Tejas” album, Arrested for Driving While Blind. I’m assuming you’re bringing one of those jive-ass Thorogood drinkin’ songs to the ring. Be my guest, SUCKER — here’s mine.

Lastly, to prove I’m not stacking the deck, here’s a track from the first of the processed 80s albums, “Eliminator.” If I could Only Flag Her Down proves that you can’t hide good music behind crappy production, no matter how hard you try.

So there you go, Mod. I urge you to simply hand over the belt, right now.

Accompanied to the ring by the greatest boogie rock band of all time,



  3 Responses to “Handicap Match! ZZ Top “Deep Cuts” vs the Best Thorogood Has to Offer”

  1. Mr. Moderator

    Kudos to you for going off the beaten path, HVB, and making me have to work to come up with more than my long-held, well-rehearsed insults of the music of ZZ Top. I just took a stroll through these tracks, and there are a couple of songs that are surprisingly good. I really got worried as “Move Me On Down the Line” got underway. That’s the one Top album I own. Why have I never made it that far into the album?

    I need to spend time with this stuff, Townspeople, and I really need to see what I can dig up by Thorogood that will, if nothing else, expose your hardened hearts and preference for the ultimate in bar-band slop. You guys object to the bar-band tendencies of Thorogood? Hell, he was trying to strip away some of the mess that the likes of ZZ Top inspired. His well-developed sense of mediocrity is much easier for me to ignore.

    I dread having to download Thorogood tunes from iTunes to educate you. I dread having to take on this battle alone. Sometimes you find out who your real friends are, and sometimes you find out you’re your own best friend. Know what I’m talking about?

    Enjoy your boogie. I’ve dug my grave, and I shall rise from it!

  2. BigSteve

    I don’t object to his bar band tendencies, I object to his one-note singing and his one-trick guitar playing. Seriously I could teach anyone here to play slide like he does in a week max. Well-developed sense of mediocrity? You’re praising him with faint damn.

    I know HVB is the resident Top expert, but are we stuck with these deep cutz? That Salt Lick track sounded like it was mixed in a barn, which it may have been. I would have recommended Tube Snake Boogie as the ultimate ZZong, the one that converted me from a hata.

    Reading back now, I see that “easy to listen to” is the only criterion we’re supposed to be using. (It is often helpful to actually read what Mr Mod says before jumping all over him.) So what are we going to pick for ZZ’s skeletons, now that the marketing and image issues I mentioned are off the board? How about Leila, their one ‘ballad,’ from the El Loco album?

  3. Mr. Moderator

    Thank you, BigSteve, for being man enough to not only re-read what I set down as my criteria (ie, Listenability), but coming forth to notify the Hall of my now-published position.

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