Sep 242013

My 6-year-old son asked me the other day, Why you do always call me “little friend?”

Well — here’s the answer, my little friend.

Another one that I share with my brothers is the phrase “New Kid in Town” — if you don’t want to hear about something — there’s “a new kid in town.” As in “I don’t wanna hear it…”

What lyrics do you throw out there on a regular basis in various situations?


  22 Responses to “Lyrical Touchstones”

  1. I do this a lot. One example off the top of my head follows. Later today it’s likely that more will come to mind, and you will get a taste of just one aspect of the hell I put my wife and kids through.

    When the boys were younger, I “motivated” them to get off to school with variations on “50 Ways to Leave Your Lover” and “Hit the Road, Jack.”

  2. There are also lyrical touchstones that really only work in my head – and I keep them that way. For instance, when confronted with a coworker or client who’s showy and not serious about work, I think, “Some people like to go out dancing…”

  3. sammymaudlin

    I still use this one occasionally but used it quite often when I was in the corporate world.

    Clowns to the left of me
    Jokers to the right

  4. BigSteve

    I just want to say that I love Zevon’s When Johnny Strikes Up the Band.

    Like the Mod, this is more heard in my head than spoken out loud. One that i get all the time is “Two steps forward … sixstepsback sixstepsback sixstepsback sixstepsback” from Gang of Four’s At Home He’s a Tourist.

  5. Bronzed Nordic God

    The most typical one I do is when I want to sarcastically indicate I’m about to do something painful (e.g. coach a kid’s soccer practice), I’ll blurt out “and now the FUN begins” from Guided by Voices’ “#2 in the Model Home Series”. Although not really a lyric per se, anytime there is something hot (hot car, hot pan, etc), I’ll start singing a variation on James Brown’s “Hot Pants”. Smokin’

  6. sammymaudlin

    Mrs. Maudlin and I have two that we use from time-to-time and they aren’t lyrics either, so body-slam me if you must.

    When I was in college near Chicago the local cool radio station was WXRT (that’s right, isn’t it?). On Sunday nights they would play what they called Un-Concerts which were live shows recorded in/around Chicago.

    I recorded this one of REM circa Reckoning (maybe Fables). The on-air XRT DJ that did the lead-in for the playing of the concert rattled off some stats about how amazing this little band from Athens is. He finishes his schtick on Murmur and says that next came Reckoning. Then he pauses dramatically and in a low serious tone says,

    “And the critics…raved.”

    Followed by a poignant pause. This is one of those you-had-to-hear-it deals, but we now use it anytime we get stuck listening to anyone rave-on about whatever.

    In this same concert some kid got trampled on the way in (we find out later) and breaks his leg. He goes to the hospital, gets a cast and comes back to catch what’s left of the show. This is all told to us by Michael Stipe during that early period when vocally he was still a mumbling, somewhat shy, surfer-come-Athens dude. After he tells the story of this kid he says,

    “Hold up your crutches guy.”

    We use this now when we are in any kind of audience where the speaker wants to “take a moment to thank…” or “to acknowledge…” blah blah blah.

    I know this is a bit off topic but it falls within the Venn Diagram of the spirit of the thread.

    Somebody whom shall remain nameless promised to transfer this cassette to mp3 for me but never did. 🙁

    Too bad as I wish I could pluck out these moments and post them.

  7. SHIT! Somebody has digitized that concert but keeps forgetting to finish the job (eg, separate the tracks) and get it back to you. I’m very sorry. I’ll get on that case in the coming week.

  8. sammymaudlin

    I enter the room from behind a dark corner, clap slowly and quietly say,

    “Bravo…Mr. Moderator…”

  9. It’s a stretch to call them lyrics but I think I have used many many times…
    “thank you, thank you very much” and
    “Elvis has left the building” (sometimes substituting peoples names)

  10. Oh, and the popular “Dreamer, nothing but a dreamer”

  11. Whenever I am watching a movie or tv show and there is a Rubenesque person of the contradictory gender I recite the words “fat blonde actress” from New Age.

  12. Anything that I really like (The Sandberg Game on Classic Sports) is the “Key to the Highway!”

    And if something is unbelievably awesome (Woody’s 20K game on Classic Sports) is the “goddamned Key to the Highway!”


  13. hrrundivbakshi

    Yes! I use this one all the time!

  14. If you start going down the route of “songs you sing to taunt other dudes in your foursome” during golf, you’ll find some rich territory. Guy hits a sky ball? “Sky rocket in flight / Afternoon delight!” Dude pulls one way left? “Left of the fields / Left of the fields” Etc.

  15. Ah my little friend, the Hall is somewhat anti-golf, but you are correct — my personal favorite is when you don’t read a putt correctly — “Nice read, Lou!”

  16. Now that I think about it, golf is a rich vein.

    Hitting a roller off the tee or from the fairway can lead to “Roller Show” by Nick Lowe “gonna see the Rollers” or you’ve simply hit a Bay City Roller. . . or “Roll With It’ by Steve Winwood . . . or “Slow Ride” by Foghat . . . “roll me, rol-l-l-l-l me.” You can also “keep on rolling . . . ” with REO.

    Bladeing a shot near the green — turns the Styx song “Lady” into “Bladey.”

    For some guys, if you hit a drive way past somebody else — you’ve hit a Linda Ronstadt shot — “Blue Bayou.”

  17. ladymisskirroyale

    Thank you, funoka, for stretching things to include turning one lyric into another and using it repeatedly. The main one that I use every Saturday during my chores (hence thinking about it now) is:

    “Been a long time, been a long time, been a long, laundry, laundry, laundry time.”

  18. ladymisskirroyale

    That is a GREAT story.

  19. That is one for the books!

  20. I do this too.

  21. Deep in the recesses of Mr. Mod’s brain…The way Lou’s always meant to be heard.


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