My significant other will tell you that I am a man of endless pet peeves. People who drive slow in the left lane. People who have tiny apartments always inviting you to a party there. DJs (not the Alan Freed kind).

At the risk of coming off as excessively curmudgeonly, I want to share one pet peeve has been bothering me more than the others lately.

So here it is: There are endless songs, almost an infinite number it would seem, that proclaim the dance floor as the ultimate spiritual salve. Don’t you know that getting on the dance floor will solve all your problems, Mr. Uptight?

Did you recently lose your job at GM? Well,then: “kick it out on the dance floor like you just don’t care” (REM). House foreclosed?: “Just dance, gonna be ok, just dance, spin that record babe” (Lady Gaga). Going through a painful divorce? Well: “I hope you dance” (Lee Ann Womack)

Enough already. This hippy sentimentality does nothing for me. A moratorium on songs suggesting dancing will solve your problems. It’s time for the truth. Lost your job at GM? “One Bourbon, one Scotch and one Beer…” House foreclosed? Don’t worry, we’ve got “Two More Bottles of Wine.” Going through a painful divorce? “Have a Drink on Me.”

Please help me compile a list of these songs with misguided dancing sentiments and suggest rock and roll drinking alternatives to them.