So I’ve been thinking about how we truly do need a “Group Grope” with the Super Ginchy Rock Combo, The Tubes!

I’m really not kidding. These guys were way ahead of the curve when they came out. I can remember dropping a quarter into the jukebox at Master Pizza and playing both sides of the “White Punks on Dope” 45, and standing on my chair and letting it wail above the Pong machine. Was I cool? Hells, yeah! I thought so, anyway (it was a pretty quiet pizza shop, we weren’t bothering anyone). The Tubes were a band that thought the kids were important. They understood that kids want sex and violence, and that parents had no idea what popular culture, their kids, rock and roll, and the freedom of a Driver’s License were capable of on an unsupervised Saturday night.

Their music holds up today. The synth flourishes tend to be a bit much, but the drum sound and the guitars are still there. The lyrics are smart and funny, and Re Styles was the greatest “Secret Weapon” any band ever had. Trust me. I saw her. I saw what she did on that motorcycle. I wanted to be on that motorcycle with her so bad. “Don’t Touch Me There” was one of those hit singles your mom cringed at when driving you to swimming practice in 1976. “What Do You Want From Life” and its final line, “A baby’s arm holding an apple,” made a lot of teenagers go “huh?” But the old man just said, “I don’t like these guys.” But I did. I loved The Tubes.
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