May 232009

Time to strap on a dynamite belt?

In a recent thread Townsman Chickenfrank made the following comment that is worthy of bringing to The Main Stage, as part of our occasional Rock Crimes series. His comment may still qualify as May’s Comment of the Month (I’ll have to consult with the judges), but until then, this is too important a topic not to bring to the fore.

Chick wrote:

CNN has an article about classic rock bands reuniting and recording new material together. The photo of Journey, Styx, and REO Speedwagon all together seems akin to Hitler, Pol Pot, and Idi Amin miraculously being together simultaneously. If I were to strap on a dynamite belt and eliminate either of those trios, would the country celebrate a 3-day weekend for me?

Stay tuned for new songs by Chicago and Earth Wind and Fire together. I assume Tower of Power was busy that weekend.

Chick’s question raises a number of other questions that may be worth discussing here:

  • If his dynamite belt could eliminate only two out of three of these heinous bands, which one would (to be clear I ask would not should) survive?
  • In the Steven Speilberg film of this historic event, who would play our real-life hero, Chickenfrank?
  • Which band is Mussolini and who in the rock industry is Chamberlain?

I’m sure you’ve got thoughts of your own on these questions as well as others. On this Memorial Day weekend, I think it’s only right that you share. Thanks!


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  7 Responses to “Journey, Styx, and REO Speedwagon Align Forces”

  1. Of the three, I might have to keep Journey. I actually like some songs by them.

    I’ll nominate Bruce Willis aka Bruno “Respect Yourself” for the role of ChickenFrank blowing up said bands.

    Styx is Mussolini and I’ll nominate Clive Davis for Chamberlain, just because.


  2. Mussolini was a predecessor of Hitler’s who was admired and copied by him, and he was eventually superseded in his capacity and production of evil. I may have the timeline incorrect, but if that’s my basis, I need to go with maybe Boston or Foreigner as a proper Mussolini to the pure evil that is REO StyxJourney. Both were bad, but not THAT bad.

    Whichever of the 3 bands has the least spandex and hair products might survive, cause that stuff is mighty flammable.

    And if anyone has the requisite range to portray the Chicken on screen, it’s got to be Mandom’s own Charles Bronson.

  3. sammymaudlin

    Journey for sure because I have the hots for the lady singer.

    And to continue in the dude-looks-like-a-lady vein I nominate Ann Margaret (with beans) to play chickenfrank.

    She’s still alive isn’t she?

    Is chickenfrank?

    I’ve spent over one minute on this so far and cannot justify spending any more time to answer the last question.

  4. I think Journey would survive a dynamite blast (after all they did survive that horrible song from Armageddon they have that spaceship from the LP covers)Love or hate em (or both) you have to admit that they have managed to survive 35 years of playing large venues.

    The new Styx is bad.. my dad is a Styx fan and said it sucked (he preferred the new Foreigner, so that says something). R.E.O. was always a one album wonder to me (HiFi+ Roll With The Changes single?) I think they are just willing to be 3rd on any bill to get paid

  5. saturnismine

    REO would survive and here’s why.

    before they had a hit with “hi-infi” they were on the road for almost ten years, slogging along, playing whatever venue would have them, and building an audience out of almost nothing. it was only *after* they had a hit that they rarely enjoyed the kind of favoritism that the other two bands received from their labels. meanwhile, journey’s label was building a spaceship for them!

    that willingness to be the third band on any bill has given them the super power that these other two bands lack: the thickest rock skin on the planet. they may suck, their singer may be annoying as fuck, but you cannot stop them….unfortunately.

  6. Mr. Moderator

    Good point, Sat!

  7. I’ll Take .38 Special over all of them (the Southern Rock Version of 70 Corporate rock) They play these kinda shows as well (I think they are with Styx / REO here in Atlanta)and Jeff Carlisi lives here in town and sits in with lots of bands.

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