Feb 012014

RHCP football

A few music-related Super Bowl XLVIII prop bets to consider. I’m not an odds-maker, so I’ll leave it to you to help set the odds before making your picks…after the jump!

  • Over/under on Beats Music ads:
  • Beats Music ad capitalizing on Richard Sherman’s post-NFC Championship Game rant:
  • Billy Joel and Jay-Z perform a version of “New York State of Mind” during the pregame ceremonies:
  • Jon Bon Jovi throws a bone in New Jersey’s direction, to remind everyone where the game is actually being played:
  • Over/under on number of Who songs used in ads:
  • Number of times Kurt Warner’s wife will be shown in the crowd:
  • Red Hot Chili Peppers reinstate John Frusciante on lead guitar minutes before kickoff:
  • The broadcaster team will refer to BigSteve’s most-anticipated musical event of the coming week, the 50th anniversary of the Beatles’ first performance on the Ed Sullivan Show.
  • Broadcasters will make a “Born to Run” reference following the first big run from scrimmage by Marshawn Lynch:
  • Bruno Mars will begin his set by appearing as Fay Wray at the top of the Empire State Building, in the arms of a CGI King Kong:
  • Bruno Mars will wear Mick Jagger’s football pants and knee pads:
  • Bruno Mars will be joined on stage by Michael Jackson’s fake biological kids:
  • Bruno Mars will whip out a guitar and play a Prince-worthy solo:
  • Bruno Mars’ inevitable jam session with the RHCP will make someone in your Super Bowl Party exclaim, “Man, that band would be really good if they’d ditch Kiedis and hire Mars!”
  • A wardrobe malfunction alert will be at Code Red as the RHCP take the stage wearing nothing but football helmets and socks:
  • Anthony Kiedis will wear Mick Jagger’s football pants and knee pads:
  • Flea will lean into Kiedis’ mic to shout “Omaha!” before a guitar solo:
  • Anthony Kiedis will appear shirtless, exposing his aging, hairless, flabby chest:
  • Anthony Kiedis will remove his shirt mid-set, exposing his aging, hairless, flabby chest:
  • Someone at your Super Bowl Party will remark that drummer Chad Smith looks exactly like Will Ferrell:
  • Will Ferrell, as Ron Burgundy, will appear with the RHCP as the band’s second drummer:
  • Anthony Kiedis will holster a guitar:
  • Mick Jagger will show up to jam wearing football pants and knee pads:
  • Jimmy Page and Slash will join RHCP for the “Stairway to Heaven” solo:
  • Flea and Anthony Kiedis will simulate passing a joint, in honor of Washington and Colorado’s pot decriminalization:
  • Flea and Anthony Kiedis will simulate a homosexual act, causing parts of the country to spin into torrents of outrage while causing Rock Town Hall types to sniff, “That’s nothing Keef and Woodie didn’t do on SNL 30-some years ago, not to mention Bowie simulating fellatio on Mick Ronson during the Spiders tour”:
  • A star-studded, hip-hop aided version of “Born to Run” will be played during the closing montage of highlights from the just-completed game:

Please feel free to set odds and make your picks on any of these prop bets, and add other prop bets that I have overlooked.


  16 Responses to “Super Bowl XLVIII Musical Prop Bets”

  1. ladymisskirroyale

    I’m betting that the RHCPs will wear more than just socks…

  2. ladymisskirroyale

    And what are the odds that an additional 33 1/3 couples will be wed on stage? Will any of the players join this fray?

  3. BigSteve

    If they mentioned the Beatles anniversary, I missed it.

    Flea and Kiedis are now in their 50s. Someone needs to tell them it’s time to leave their shirts on. Maybe they’d listen ti Will Ferrell.

  4. Despite the heavy lip-syncing (no?) of Bruno Mars, that guy put on a typically good neo-retro-style show. The RHCP were fine too. Everything felt more concise and up close. It was a better halftime experience than usual, despite the appearance of the bare chests.

    Bonus points for Will Ferrell decorating his drum kit with NFL logos! It was like something a 12-year-old boy would do if given the chance to play the Super Bowl.

    I did not catch a Beatles reference either.

    Most shocking music-related event of the night for me was seeing Bob Dylan with Paul McCartney’s hair dye (or was it Tobey Maguire’s wig from Spoils of Babylon: http://www.joblo.com/newsimages1/babylon-maguire.jpg) and what looked like either plastic surgery or, as chickenfrank, I believe, put it CGI work on his face!

  5. misterioso

    The only thing I hated more than the brief glimpse I got of the RHCP was the Dylan ad. I don’t really care how he looked (too much makeup, methinks) and I’m aware that he’s long since slid down the slippery slope from licensing songs for ads to appearing in a Victoria’s Secret ad to now working as pitchman for Chrysler. Perhaps if someone came at me with a bag of money I’d do the same thing, even if I were already extremely wealthy and in control of a lucrative body of compositions and back catalogue that people continue to purchase. Or maybe I’d remember that I was the guy who wrote about advertising signs that con you into thinking you’re the one. Maybe I’d remember that even though I’m in a commercial undertaking that isn’t the same as becoming a shill for corporate America. I’d like to think so. Mostly I hate that Dylan or “his people” think (I guess) that this is a way to keep “the brand” alive or whatever. I’d like to think someone would remind me that I was the guy who said: “You know things go better with Coke because Aretha Franklin told you so and Maxwell House coffee must be OK because Ray Charles is singing about it. Everybody’s singing about ketchup or headache medicine or something. In the beginning it wasn’t anything like that, had nothing to do with pantyhose and perfume and barbecue sauce… you were eligible to get busted for playing it. It’s like Lyndon Johnson saying ‘We shall overcome’ to a nation-wide audience, ridiculous… there’s an old saying, ‘If you want to defeat your enemy, sing his song’ and that’s pretty much still true…The corporate world, when they figured out what it was and how to use it they snuffed the breath out of it and killed it.”

  6. The ad sounded like something he may have said on his old XM radio show:

    “Is there anything more American than America?”

    “Let Germany brew your beer, let Switzerland make your watch, let Asia assemble your phone. We will build your car.”

    Why Dylan does what he does is truly mystifying. Some of his last stuff I like — the book, the radio show — some of it is crazy — the ads, and th

  7. and the concerts.

  8. “Everybody’s singing about ketchup” should be Dylan’s next song. (or a Randy Newman song)

    I see why he would agree to this (lending support to Detroit) and I see how the idea of using his radio show personality made sense to a marketing company.

    I get this feeling that the Dylan fans were annoyed and that many people had no idea who he was.

  9. The pro-Detroit aspect is a fine rationale for him doing that spot. Anymore, I have trouble worrying about the sellout aspect of these things. It would be nice to think that our heroes have enough money and all that – and I do believe some of them do, but there’s so much money flying around in the business world that bypasses true greatness. Why not have a few more bills attach themselves to the people whose ideas keep us running?

  10. hrrundivbakshi

    I’d like to go on record as being very pleasantly surprised by Bruno Mars and his retro-schtick. Excellent mach schau, real talent displayed, high marks, etc. Yeah, there was a cheesy whiff of Kool & the Gang, 21st-century style, in the air, but that’s what the SBHTS is for. Up with people!

    The RHCP, on the other hand, were an embarrassment. Those dudes are, what, 55 or something? The whole bouncing-up-and-down-while-pumping-fists-and-rockin’-the-white-boy-punk-funk-blah-blah-skull-bong-12-pack-of-beer-wooo thing was RIDICULOUS. I felt ashamed for my generation, seriously. Really stupid.

  11. A poll has been launched to determine Townspeople’s reaction to the RHCP. As I already stated, I give them a reluctant thumbs up. I enjoyed the injection of sophomoric energy, no matter how ridiculous it was from those old guys. I actually admire the fact that they have such a narrow strip of talent, are aware of it, and drive that narrow wedge of talent down our throats whenever they get the chance.

  12. misterioso

    It isn’t so much the “sell out” aspect, or even the “message” of the ad, which is in many ways consistent with songs such as “Union Sundown” or “North Country Blues,” each in their way about the death of industrial America. It’s hard for me to pin down why this bothers me as much as it does. I just think that he has relinquished something important, which maybe was best expressed by that noted protest singer Lesley Gore–“you don’t own me.”

  13. I don’t dislike the RHCP because they are old and refuse to act their age or that they have no shirts on. I dislike them because they, especially Anthony Keidas, suck. The musicians are good enough players I suppose, but the their songs are mediocre, the “singing” is horrendous and the lyrics are downright embarrassing.

  14. misterioso

    Amen, brother.

  15. ladymisskirroyale

    I’m in agreement. Note that they did not perform any of their recent Uber-Lame songs, but instead did their last great hit.
    They got me with the synchronized jumping.

    And, for old guys, they still look ok without their shirts. Not good, not bad, but ok.

  16. Suburban kid

    That one song where they tried to be the Beastie Boys is the only one I can stomach.

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