Nov 202013

"Love those guys!"

“Love those guys!”

Mildly hip, white music fans are rejoicing over news that Big Boi and André 3000 will be reuniting OutKast in time for next year’s Coachella festival. Although no new OutKast recordings are planned, fans like Toby Wetland, 28, of Scottsdale, Arizona, can dream.

“I mean, like, it’s been so long since they’ve come up on my playlist” said an excited Wetland, outside his neighborhood Teavana. “I can’t even remember the last time I listened to their last album, whichever one it was—but it was incredible!”

At the Hanes Mall Teavana in Winston-Salem, North Carolina, Kayli Freebaugh, 31, gushed, “Oh my god, even though I skip over Big Boi’s tracks, there’s been an edge missing from André’s work.” She added, “I can’t wait to see hear what track advertisers pick up!”

Not all mildly hip, white music fans are ecstatic. Sipping a skinny Chai latte outside the Starbucks in Haddonfield, New Jersey, 37-year-old Adam Harrington gently rocked a 3-kid stroller and sniffed, “Unless Organized Noize is supplying the beats, I’ll stay tuned for whatever James Murphy touches next.”


  8 Responses to ““Thank god,” exclaim white folk, “OutKast may deliver a new album I can pretend to love for a couple of weeks!””

  1. cherguevara

    That was delightfully Onion-esque. I like some of their songs but don’t know why anybody would go to Teavana.

    I can’t be excited about this Outkast news, though, I’m too busy enjoying this song and video from Kanye West because, you know, he’s a genius:

  2. misterioso

    Thanks, Mod. You just made me glad to be not even mildly hip, thus freeing me from having to pretend to like this.

  3. Man, some white folk have a wild imagination to think that’s worth listening to!

    For the woman’s sake, I hope Kanye was wearing a helmet.

  4. ladymisskirroyale

    Bwaaa haaa haaa, Mod.

    Mod may be making a few digs in my direction, which I appreciate as I have been lured into the somnescence that a new job brings. This post definitely got me laughing.

    And I, with Earl Grey or English Breakfast (milk, no sugar) in hand will happily make plans with Mr. Harrington.

  5. ladymisskirroyale

    PS – Does anyone at RTH listen to Speakerboxx/The Love Below? I listened to it the first time a few weeks ago at Mr. Royale’s suggestion. I liked it, but don’t know if I need a repeat performance or ever hear “Hey Ya” ever again. Are there any fans out there, including you, Mod?

    Then again, I’m too busy listening to my copy of “Three Feet High and Rising” (and wearing my promo t-shirt). Would De La Soul be the comparable group 20-something years ago?

  6. I listen to “The Love Below” pretty often, say every 6 months or so. I love “Hey Ya”, and there are 7 or 8 songs on their I really dig, “Happy Valentines Day” and “Roses” to name a couple of them. Hell, it’s the best Prince album since Lovesexy for my money.

  7. Someday my fingers will stop typing “their” when I mean “there”.

  8. I can hear the charms of these guys, but their music doesn’t stick with me. Even “Hey Ya.” It starts like a house on fire, then cools down to the level of “Raspberry Beret.” That song should be over in 1:45. I think the real target of my satire is clear. It’s not you, them, or even geo.

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