Remember Colorforms? Following a comprehensive 5-minute search of the Internet I have determined that the Colorforms company, although producing sets specifically for iconic artists like The Beatles, KISS, and Elvis Presley, did not produce a comprehensive set of Colorforms that would have allowed us, as children, to create our own vision of the Ultimate Rock Star. Well, maybe they did, but if they did I'm sure it wasn't as good as the Colorforms set we're about to create.

As a service to help soothe yet one more dashed rock 'n roll dream, Rock Town Hall will be partnering with Colorforms to create the Rock Town Hall Kit, a Colorforms toy. This set will include, from head to toe, the most iconic elements of rock wardrobe and accoutrements for future generations to mix and match onto blank figures in the effort of creating the Ultimate Rock Star.

Now the hard part... Read on!

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In 1975, Bon Scott and the lads took their metal boogie to the streets of Melbourne. It's A Long Way To the Top (if you wanna rock and roll) and the clip are key moments in Australian rock lore. So much so that a couple of years ago a laneway, Corporation Lane, was renamed AC/DC Lane.

Then this week in Brisbane, 2000 miles to the north of Melbourne, a bridge was named in honour of The Go-Betweens, the band as much as any, catches the moods of the Queensland capital. The Hale Street Bridge is now The Go-Betweens Bridge. In their pomp, most of the band's success was outside of Brisbane, and they wasted little time hitting the road for cities more receptive to their Velvets/Monkees/Richman/Television skinny pop thing.

The question is, are there other places named in honour of a band or song?

Although we're familiar with claims to the effect that "There's no crying in baseball!" we've seen evidence to the contrary. The same goes for all the other macho athletes out there. They're way more sensitive than we've been led to believe.

I got to wondering about his this might apply to rock 'n roll. In an artform the prides itself on free and deep expression, can you cite times in which rock 'n rollers have cried in public, especially onstage, after a riveting performance? Non-rockers who can manufacture a solitary teardrop during the final arpeggio of a tender ballad don't count. Sorry, Christina Aguilera fans. I'm talking real rock 'n rollers, or even singer-songwriters who've long been established as residents of Rock bins across the world. For instance, has James Taylor ever cried at the conclusion of "Fire and Rain?"

If ever there was a time for rock 'n roll tears I'd think it would be a landmark farewell show, like The Last Waltz. However, I've seen that film at least 100 times, and I don't recall anyone shedding even a solitary tear. There were some puffy eyes, but wasn't that the coke crying? Likewise, I don't recall anyone crying in the otherwise super-sensitive Metallica group therapy movie---my own tears as a viewer excluded. Now that Metallica documentary allowed for some rock 'n roll teardrops. (Mad props to Townsman shawnkilroy for reminding me of this touching scene.)

I don't recall Freddie Mercury ever crying onstage. Are you telling me not even Freddie Mercury could muster an onstage tear?

Even off stage, in those VH1 Behind the Music episodes, do we ever see a member of Aerosmith crying over the wasted years before the band's sobriety and return to the top of the charts?

Surely I'm forgetting an obvious instance of a rock 'n roller crying on (or even off) stage.

The wisdom of The Hall continues to amaze me. For as many knowledgeable individuals who dazzle with their rock knowledge, it is the collective wisdom of our participants that I find most dazzling.

It is in this spirit that I want to allow for further amazement---not only for the people but by the people. I was going to try to turn this into my own original post, in an attempt to display my deluded sense of having a unique brand of insight and humor, but then I thought better of it. Instead, I'd like to pose this question to the collective wisdom of The Orockle: What if the British Invasion had been thwarted?

What if Chubby Checker and James Darren had led a battalion of ships to turn away The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, The Hollies, and Freddie and the Dreamers? What would constitute rock 'n roll from 1964 forward if the British Invasion had failed? Would rock 'n roll truly have died, as the conventional wisdom of countless rock documentaries assume, or would the void have allowed American country and R&B artists direct access to the riches of what we've come to know as Rock Stardom?

As always, when any of us consult The Orockle, the opportunity exists for folks to ask similar questions and receive similar advice. The topic shouldn't necessarily focus just on my topic.

I look forward to your responses.

"...shield...blanket of love..."

Yes!

Air ball or slam dunk?

Has Townsman 2000 Man been away from the Halls of Rock for longer than usual, or have I been so busy myself that I haven't noticed his always-welcome presence? I hope all is well with 2K and that he's resting on some faraway beach. In the meantime, some disgusting excerpts from a forthcoming tell-all by Milner's jailbait shotgun passenger, Mackenzie Phillips, reminded me of the following delivery by 2K, in response to an earlier thread he posted. These solo Papa John tracks creeped people out too. Enjoy!

This post initially appeared 1/23/08.

You asked for it!

By request. I can't believe you guys don't think this is as bad as I do. I'm gonna take a shower now.

John Phillips, "Zulu Warrior"

The title of this thread is self-explanatory, no? This may not be a long-running Last Man Standing, but I'll leave two or three of the most obvious examples on the table for you to cite. I'll open with a slightly less-obvious one, or at least one that I haven't heard on the radio for years until tonight:

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Those who know me well know that my father passed away a few years ago. Those of you who know me *really* well know that my pop was -- in addition to being the man with the best phone manners on the planet -- a genuine musical talent, able to pick up just about any good musical thang being laid down, and proficient on many instruments. A man of Tom Dowd-ian spirit *and* talent, and a man to whom I have always been proud to claim kinship.

Anyhow, when sweet, talented Conrad drifted off this mortal coil three years ago, he left me a wonderful instrument: his 1959 Gibson Southern Jumbo acoustic guitar, purchased while he was in the Air Force and under the sway of righteous folkies like Pete Seeger.

The Gibson "SJ" is a peculiar animal: round-shouldered, but not one of those fey little 3/4-sized acoustics you see today's folkies delicately plucking away on. It's a full-sized instrument, meant to be strummed, HARD -- but it's not engineered to provide big, booming bass and twinkle-twinkle high-end like the acoustics in favor these days. No, it's a throw-back to an era when there was a market for high-quality *folk* instruments; ones that could be heard banging away on the opposite end of the fire house or the church hall an' meetin' room. All mid-range and bang-whang-a-lang -- that's the Gibson Southern Jumbo.

(Actually, if you want to hear a 1950s Gibson Southern Jumbo in action, listen to the early Everly Brothers hits. Before they could afford the big, Everly-namesake Gibson rock star acoustics with the fancy inlays -- like you see on their publicity stills from the day -- they played the Appalachian yeoman's guitar, the Southern Jumbo... and *that's* what you hear on most of their hit records.)

Anyhow: I sat down this evening with Papa's old guitar, just bashin' away, and I noticed that there were certain chord voicings that just sounded *amazing* on the old Jumbo. In particular, a good, old-fashioned E major raises the hair on the back of my neck. A7 sounds pretty good, too. In any case, as I went through all my "cowboy chords," I found myself playing a song that not only sounded great on Papa's old Southern Jumbo, but that was a big favorite of his, too: "My Sweet Lord," by you-know-who. (Extra nerd demerits for reminding me and everybody else who supposedly *really* wrote that number. Who fucking cares?!)

This got me thinking: man, how many "rock spirituals" are there? And how many of them are actually *good*? I know we often correct each other 'round here, insisting that we remember all the proud, prodigiously talented and deeply influential African-American artists that laid the groundwork for all the pimply-faced white kids whose music we seem to disproportionately prefer -- but I suppose I'm actually playing a bit of a "race card" in asking this question. I'm looking for "spiritual" songs that you might have heard on FM rock radio back in the day -- or just songs of a deeply spiritual bent that don't share that sunday-go-to-church-meetin'-and-git-sanctified vibe that we all love, but that most of our fave White bands actually suck at.

Is there one that tops "My Sweet Lord"? I'm just askin'.

I look forward to your responses... and I know Papa's curious, too. Actually, I'm betting he knows the answer to this one already, where he's at these days.

HVB

We apologize for this brief interruption to bring you a peek into the inner-workings of... The Back Office

You will be proud to know that, as of this writing, a Google search on the following terms results in the following Google search rank for our very own Rock Town Hall. SALUTE.

"Abbey Road Medley" = #4

"Mach Schau" = #1!

"Hamish Stuart" = #3

Thank you for your attention.