Mr. Moderator

When not blogging Mr. Moderator enjoys baseball, cooking, and falconry.

Hags of Our Fathers

Feb 152007

Townsman Chickenfrank felt compelled to express a long-held view.

KISS suck and have always sucked. They were the Village People of soft-core heavy metal. Take two parts CATS Broadway musical, one part Vincent Price cheesy horror movie, borrow heavily from Alice Cooper, and mix until flaccid. Voila, KISS. “I Wanna Rock and Roll All Night” is one step above “We Built This City On Rock and Roll” as a fist-raising anthem, and their biggest hit was “Beth”, which has got to be the inspiration for Tufnel’s “Lick My Love Pump”. KISS Army?!?! Bring the troops home!

Letters from the KISS Army

Posted by Mr. Moderator

Feb 152007

Townspeople of a certain age were queried on their KISS memories. Let’s begin by calling roll.
ROLL CALL!

Randy: I can’t stand KISS. Or their army. In fact, it wouldn’t bother me a bit if all our troops were pulled out of Iraq and replaced by the KISS Army. Kill two birds with one stone.

Chickenfrank: KISS Army deserter.

JimmyMac: I’m not a KISS Army vet per se. However, I was an avid KISS fan and am somewhat versed in their history. I also have a modest repository of memorabilia that surfaced during my recent move. Metaphorically speaking I guess I had musical “flat feet” and never was drafted. (I never dressed up like KISS and didn’t attend a concert until my 30s. By that point, they had already become a lampoon of themselves. Two 50-ish Jewish men lumbering around the stage in fancy dress desperately in need of a schvitz by mid-set.)

Rich: I wanted to join, but I failed the physical. Had to become a Ted Nugent Weekend Warrior instead.

Chris: Officially? No. I was a diehard fan; they were my first concert (AC/DC opened). I have all the vinyl, but I never enlisted. I have painted my face before, actually with two of my brothers and a bandmate for the reunion tour in ’96. I was Ace, if you’re wondering.

Al: I never joined either. I was one of those kids that members of the KISS Army liked to beat up.

General Slocum: The KISS Army, as far as I can remember, first came to us via an insert to the album Rock and Roll Over, which was the album that burst my bubble, and confirmed for me that the direction they were going on Destroyer was only going to continue, and worse. And in the mid-70s, most of us were at least hippie enough to resent anything that so smacked of little-league fascism as to be called an “army.” For their first 4 records (up to Alive) they were one of my fave bands. Those albums still have a simple idiocy which appeals to me. We went last summer to a church fair up here, and there was a kid running one of the toddler rides, and while John was on the ride, we complemented his KISS Army tattoo. He said he had just gotten it. I said they were my first concert, and he said “me, too!” I said, mine was 32 years ago, and I saw them when Dressed to Kill was out. His eyes got big, with a combination reverence, and what may have been fear of diseases to which modern humans may no longer have antibodies. It was a perspective-stretching excercise for us both. But, no, I never joined up.

Dean: I never joined and will confess to never owning or liking KISS. Good for a laugh but nothing more…

A good friend in high school was an uber fan (and almost certainly an Army recruit), but I didn’t join him. He did however introduce me to prog-rock and we both attended my first rock concert – ELP at the Spectrum.

So, my question to you KISS fans – Is Paul Stanley gay? Not that there is anything wrong with that. But I have seriously wondered.
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Sting, Rod Stewart, and Bryan Adams Indicted for Rock Crime

Posted by Mr. Moderator

Feb 132007

Fresh off The Police’s blockbuster reunion at the GRAMMYS and subsequent announcement of a North American tour, Sting, Rod Stewart, and Bryan Adams were indicted by the Rock Crimes Commission at Rock Town Hall for their part in the 1993 collaboration on “All For Love”, which appeared in the soundtrack to the movie The Three Musketeers. The single reached #1 on the US charts, but the collaborators and their numerous Rock Crimes managed to duck the law until the discovery of the above video, as posted on YouTube by Raducanu90.

Attorneys for the musicians issued “No comment.” Prosecutors promised details in the coming week, but would not comment further until the defendants had turned themselves into authorities.

Rock Town Hall will continue to follow this story.

Please Explain: Bon Scott’s Value to AC/DC

Posted by Mr. Moderator

Feb 132007

Before I begin, let’s get a couple of things straight:

It can be safely assumed you are a passionate and articulate fan of rock ‘n roll if you’re here in the Hall.
It can be safely assumed that you are aware of the gulf between The Rolling Stones’ “Honky Tonk Woman” and any song by AC/DC.
Any possible comparisons between Bon Scott and Brian Johnston will not be considered relevant to the discussion.

OK. So I’ve been listening to AC/DC’s High Voltage over the past week. My friend Seth bought me a couple of AC/DC albums last year as both fine birthday gifts and educational opportunities. He wanted me to hear their albums’ productions and see if there was anything I could learn and better understand when he discussed the sound of our own band’s productions. Since receiving these educational gifts, I listen to these albums every few months. I see what he means about the awesome dry production of the drums and guitars, in particular. It’s the kind of production lovers of dry recording get wet over. Listen to the intro of the opening track, “It’s a Long Way to the Top (If you Wanna Rock ‘n’ Roll)”, if you want to know what floats my boat in terms of dry production. If possible, hit PAUSE at the 29-second mark, right before the vocals enter.
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Silly Love Songs

Posted by Mr. Moderator

Feb 132007

In preparation for Valentine’s Day, let’s talk about love songs. What makes a great one? What can spoil a love song for you? Are love songs more important to you when you are in love or when you are not in love? Songwriters, poets, have you written of love? Not love gone bad, not unrequited love, but true love, or at least a facsimile thereof. How did your loved one feel about hearing your work for the first time?

The only rules (don’t think the only rule is there are no rules) in this game are as follows:

No lists
No posting full sets of lyrics without analysis
No wussing out and holding your tongue, so to speak

I look forward to your input.

First Impressions: The Apples in Stereo, New Magnetic Wonder

Posted by Mr. Moderator

Feb 122007

Riding the coattails of the work of Townswoman Citizen Mom, I’m about to write a real-time review of the new album by The Apples in Stereo, New Magnetic Wonder! After a brief backgrounder, I will advise you to strap in and prepare for what might be a bumpy ride.

I thought Apples in Stereo were cooked! After leader Robert Schneider’s breakup with wife/drummer Hilarie Sidney, I’d read he was deep in long-distance collaborations with the likes of Andy Partridge and Robert Pollard. I’d read he was making electro-mash-ups on his laptop.

Like so many of you, I fell in love with Tone Soul Evolution. Sure, I was behind the curve, but it led me down the path of catching up with the Elephant 6 collective. I especially liked The Minders, who sounded like all the rickety ’60s elements of Apples in Stereo without the dangerously overreaching ambitions. I lined up outside a local record store for the release of the Apples’ follow-up album, Discovery of a Moone Inside Your Ass (or something like that). Every little overdub was placed just so. Details, details. It was retro-indie-sunshine pop made by a copy editor, or a proctomusicologist. As someone says in Spinal Tap, “Too much fuckin’ reality.” This album would be traded in a mere week later.

I could no longer hang with Schneider. Our affair was a brief one, but I’m about to give him a try again. Right now! For a limited time, you too can listen to a streaming version of this album from our friends at Phawker. Are you ready? OK…strap in!
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Random Thoughts Over the Weekend

Posted by Mr. Moderator

Feb 122007

Who’s your favorite “underdog” artist in rock?

Along the same line of thought, has there ever been a better “ugly duckling” moment before a national audience than Elliott Smith performing in that ill-fitting white suit at the Oscars?

I’ve been hearing a lot of Elton John’s “Someone Saved My Life Tonight” on oldies radio. This has always been my second-favorite Elton John song. To this day I greatly anticipate the moment when he sings “dammit” as well as the moment when he launches into that falsetto coda. Two questions emerge:

Is there a song with a naughty word you highly anticipate hearing, no matter how many times you hear the song?
Excluding Billy Joel’s fine homages to the particular singing style of Frankie Valli and Lou Christie (not a true falsetto, as someone like Smokey Robinson uses), is Elton John the last artist to have successfully turned this trick?

I look forward to your responses.

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