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Doors shmoors man, we’re talkin’ Eagles babies!
The Movie: The Eagles
You: Casting Agent.
Mission: Cast it. Duh.
Who plays who? Not just The Eagles but any relevant player in the scene, man.
Wiley, the publisher of the Don Felder bio-tome discussed here, was unable to secure us an interview with the man (missed it by this much) but has been kind enough to offer 10 free copies of Heaven and Hell: My Life In The Eagles (1974-2001) by Don Felder and Wendy Holden.
Soooooo. Here in The Back Office we have assembled an anonymous team of judges who will select the top 10 responses. You will be awarded points based on; creativity first and foremost, historical accuracy and neatness.
You have until I say you have to stop.
Ready….begin.
Wiley sends along some interesting clips/interviews with Don about the book. Sounds like plenty of lawyers, guns & money went into getting it published:
In addition, Heaven and Hell was recently included on the NY Times and LA Times bestseller lists last week. Here are links to the … current standing:
Far out man.
The Eagles
Don Henley: Shia LeBeouf
Hairy Glenn Frey: Josh Brolin
“Miami” Glenn Frey: Michael Madsen
Joe Walsh: Danny Bonaduce
Timothy B. Schmit: Hilary Swank
Bernie Leadon: Jason Lee
Randy Meisner: Kurt Russell
Don Felder: Former Prime Minister Tony Blair
Supporting Cast
David Geffen: Alan Cumming
Chris Hillman: Will Ferrell
Zoey Deschanel as Linda Rondstadt
JD Souther as himself
meanstom takes a mighty lead with NO competition in sight!
Those are all awesome. Zoey Deschanel as Linda Rondstadt is going to give Mr. Mod a chub. And JD Souther as himself gave me a coffee spit take.
Oh man, I sat here trying to think of who Timothy B. Schmidt looked like, and meanstom just nailed it.
Here’s what I have so far:
Don Henley – Gary Cole
Glenn Frey – Thomas Haden Church
Timothy B. Scmidt – Sonny Landham
Joe Walsh – Chris Cooper
Don Felder – William Katt
Bernie Leadon – Sam Rockwell
Randy Meisner – Kiefer Sutherland
David Geffen – Stanley Tucci
Linda Rondstadt – Zoey Deschanel (this is an ironclad lock, no?)
Jackson Browne – Joaquin Phoenix
Eagles producer Bill Szymczyk – Ron Silver
Donald Fagan – Eddie Deezen
Walter Becker – Billy Bob Thornton
Walter Becker’s Beard – CGI
Alternate casting suggestion: Gary Cole plays all of the Eagles
I watched Walk Hard last night (two and a half stars), so I’m going to cast the Judd Apatow version of this movie. (also, it allows me to use some of meanstom and alexmagic’s choices.)
Paul Rudd- Henley
Seth Rogan- Frey
James Franco- Timothy
Jason Segel- Felder
John C. Reilly- Walsh
Will Ferrell- Leadon
Gary Cole- Meisner
Ben Stiller- Geffen
Linda Cardellini- Rondstandt
Martin Starr- Irving Azoff
Wayne Knight- Randy Newman (Not a Apatow player, but I really want this to happen; also note that post-Seinfeld Knight slimmed down)
Vince Vaughn- Zevon (Best I can come up with for now)
Owen Wilson wearing a wig- Jackson Browne
It would be more interesting to have Gary Coleman play Don Henley.
On second thought, I think David Duchovny will be playing Meisner.
Oats sez:
Owen Wilson wearing a wig- Jackson Browne
I say:
Now THAT’s funny!
Joe Flaherty as Kris Kristofferson playing himself.
“The song needs more… critters.”
A chub indeed on that Rondstadt casting! Well done, Meanstom.
Gary Cole for Henley is awesome, as is William Katt for our man Felder. Gotta love any reference to Katt! And it goes without saying, Mad props! for the role played by “CGI.”
Linda Cardellini as Rondstadt is right up there with Deschanel. These guys are good, The Back Office. You said we’ve got 10 copies to award, right? Looking forward to continued creativity!
Judges are whispering about recent standouts:
Zoey Deschanel as Linda Rondstadt (lock indeed)
Glenn Frey – Thomas Haden Church
Ben Stiller- Geffen
Owen Wilson wearing a wig- Jackson Browne
Joe Flaherty as Kris Kristofferson playing himself (points off for playing to the judges!)
David Duchovny will be playing Meisner.
Aside from Zoey though the judges are merely whispering at this point.
Keep up the good work Townsfolk.
Typical Hollywood casting — the love interest is in her twenties and the male actors are forty and up.
Fair point, BigSteve, but I cast LeBeouf as Henley. He’s an up and comer. My Swank pick is another example of my creative casting.
You guys missed the boat on this one.
Michael Mann was in pre-production for an Eagles boipic when, due to legal shit, it fell through. He did Miami Vice instead. His casting was:
Heath Ledger as Henley
Collin Farrel as Frey
Danny Trejo as Schmitt
Matthew McCaunahy as Walsh
and Dustin Hoffman as Azoff.
Mann’s movie only covered the Legendary Hotel California video shoot, up until Hell Freezes Over, with a heavy focus on the Smuggler’s Blues /Sunset Grill period.
In fairness, the Eagles have always appeared to be in at least their 40s, except Joe Walsh, who has appeared to be in his 60s for the last 20-30 years.
New casting suggestions:
Jimmy Buffett – Larry David
Dan Fogelberg – Paul Rudd
Philip Michael Thomas – Terrence Howard
Timothy B. Schmit – If Swank is already committed to another project, Eric Stoltz would be able to play both long-haired Schmit and Playin’ It Cool-era Schmit.
I don’t care who plays Henley, I just hope Henley doesn’t play the drums.
Don Henley – David Hasselhoff
Glenn Frey – Steve Carell
Timothy B. Schmit – Matt Dillon
Joe Walsh – Adam Sandler
Don Felder – Tim Robbins
Bernie Leadon – Edward Norton
Randy Meisner – Robert Downey jr
I confess I don’t understand all the other answers. Here’s mine:
Sonny Jurgenson – Matt Damon
King Hill – Owen Wilson
Tim Brown – Jim Brown
Tommy MacDonald – Norm MacDonald
Joe Kuharich – Gene Hackman
Classic thread, I have only one suggestion:
Don Henley – Dane Cook
Extra-added bonus: humorlessness
Who plays LeRoy Keyes, Al?
Ha!
I just remembered a detail from an old Vh1 Eagles doc that will make for a good movie conflict. Glyn Johns produced the early albums and basically treated them like a country band, sneering that they couldn’t play rock ‘n’ roll.
Ricky Gervais as Glyn Johns
He was right, Oats!
I think that’s why the anecdote has always stuck in my mind.
You guys call this a contest? Don’t be intimidated by the first set of entries.
Hair Bear as Bernie Leadon