I think I’ve determined a running theme among artists I like and admire on an intellectual level yet will never love: they’ve got no heart. I’m thinking specifically about Chuck Berry and The Ramones, but there are other toe-tapping, energetic rock artists I like and admire for their tunefulness and craftsmanship yet remain unmoved by on an emotional level. Another example might be Cheap Trick, although they have at least two songs that express identifiable human desires. Actually, The Ramones have a couple of songs expressing some identifiable human desires, but overall they’re a worthy example.

For purposes of exploring this discovery, let’s focus on Berry and The Ramones. Both artists are to be admired for their energy, their craft, their wit, their tunefulness, and the other guiding principles that kept them from entering a likely embarrassing “blooz” or “psych” phase. There’s more insight and understanding of the human condition in their songs than might be evident on the surface, but rarely do I find their music stimulating my understanding of human emotions.

The issue I have with these artists is a little different from Fogerty Syndrome, in which the artist has a chip on his or her shoulder for reasons known only to his- or herself. In the case of artists suffering from Fogerty Syndrome, the emotions resulting from the unidentified chip come through to the listener and offer emotional enlightenment and release for listeners. I don’t get that from Berry’s music or much of the music of The Ramones (“Sheena Is a Punk Rocker”, “Rockaway Beach”, and maybe two other songs excepted), and I’m not sure that you do either. That’s cool, right? There are plenty of other things to like about these emotionally “distant” artists, but I’ve put my finger on it: that’s what keeps me from fully embracing their music.

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Tonight’s Episode: All Star Jam.

Say what you will. But watch your back man.