Dec 032012

This ought to be easy. All you have to do is pick one of the two options laid out below, from one-time children’s action figure model and occasional televangelist MC Hammer.

As always, it helps your cause to list a reason or two for your preference.

Version A: Lots of gangsta ho’s eagerly shakin’ they booty — but be warned: the price of admission to Hammer’s pool party is never being able to un-see the MC’s wedding tackle, barely restrained by his tasteful, zebra-striped banana hammock. Believe me, he makes darn sure you never forget it.

Version B: No tits, no ass, and no Hammer-wang. But much better choreography!

So what’s it going to be? A or B?

I look forward to your responses.



  7 Responses to “CHOOSE SIDES! MC Hammer’s Gangsta Rap Masterpiece “Pumps and a Bump””

  1. patrock

    are you fucking kidding me?

  2. ladymisskirroyale

    I’m voting for version B primarily because it’s nice to see the Robert Palmer Girls working again.

    Mr. Royale got to meet and photograph Hammer when he was the keynote speaker at the high school where Mr. Royale is a teacher. Although I saw lots of photos of Hammer wearing a black robe and a large crucifix, alas, there was no recon done to find out if he was wearing the zebra sling underneath.

  3. hrrundivbakshi


  4. I choose “A” – if only to be able to witness the actual moment when “Hammer” was forced into bankruptcy…. but this time, morally and financially. And all it took was 5 minutes 25 seconds.

    he was well in the red artistically ….and jebus, Darius Rucker is more Gangsta than his ass ever was!

  5. Gotta go with A, even though it sucks more than B. The banana hammock is actually an improvement over his genie pants/Zubas.

    These videos did inspire me to finally seek out the MC Hammer video in which Phillies shortstop Jimmy Rollins appeared, back when he was about 13 and somehow part of Hammer’s extended posse. He’s in some Addams Family video, with his head bobbing up from a grave site at the 3:35 mark. Then I learned that he also appeared in some Mavis Staples video for a song written and produced by Prince (with ZZ Top and ELO, I believe). Young James plays a drug dealer, seen at the 1:05 and 1:35 (?) marks. I would post these videos for fellow Phillies fans, but I don’t want to distract from the important work at hand.

  6. B, that zebra striped marble bag in A made me uncomfortable.

  7. machinery

    Wow, talk about being in the horns of a dilemma. I guess they released A but it got banned so they made B. (???) Maybe it’s in his autobiography.

    I guess for pure cheese, I vote A. But to be honest, I couldn’t make it through either.

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