Somebody pointed me in the direction of this fascinating web page yesterday:
It purports to show, in graphic detail, what body parts are most often celebrated through song, across a wide range of musical genres. Some of the preferred parts will come as no surprise (I bet you can guess what part is most often name-checked in a typical hip-hop number). But I was quite surprised to find no apparent love for breasts. You know, knockers. Gazongas. Jugs. Jubblies. Etcetera.
That got me thinking about songs that actually refer to boobs… and, other than ZZ Top‘s single-entendre masterpiece “Pearl Necklace” (which never really mentions boobs directly) I came up pretty empty. Can you think of any?
I look forward to your responses.
Do you get extra points if you mention Mama’s boobs?
No. You have to go home for the day.
That we site is disturbing. There’s no way they actually know how many songs mention what in all those genres, so someone just sat there and made it up. Why would they do that?
The Stones mention breasts now and then. On Let it Bleed she says “my breasts, they will always be open.” Then on This Place is Empty (which is pretty horrible) Keith sings, “Come on, bare your breasts, and make me feel at home.” Except he seems to have problems with that word and it’s more like “Come on, bare your breathts.” I think his dentures get in the way.
“I think his dentures get in the way.”
2000 Man is currently LMO!
Maybe the most relatively tasteful possible entry: “Everybody needs a bosom for a pillow…” from Cornershop’s Brimful of Asha
Steve Miller’s “The Joker”: “Really love your peaches, want to shake your tree.”
Ummmm, Bob Seger, “Night Moves”? “Points all her own,” etc.?
Nick Lowe – “So Fine”
“She’s got a pair of t*&s that just won’t quit”
Sparks – “Tits”
does the silicone sister from Blinded By The Light count?
“It Wasn’t My Idea to Dance” – the Move.
“Once again you clutch me to your warming breast
Now I lay me down to rest”
A strange and menacing song, by the way. Heavy metal meets oboe.
The Stranglers – Tits
Knowing that it exists does not imply approval
“Love So Fine” – Nick Lowe
“She’s got a pair of tits that just won’t quit”
From Pulp’s “Disco 2000”: “You were the first girl at school to get breasts/and Martyn said that you were the best.”
“…“Pearl Necklace” (which never really mentions boobs directly)…”
I had to think about that one, mighty saucy. I wrote a song called “Honey Let Me Honk Your Horn” but I guess that doesn’t count.
The best I can think of is Lyle Lovette’s “I’ve been to Memphis” but he only makes you think he’s singing about boobs.
Sherry she had big ones
Sally had some too
But Allison had little ones
What hate to go to school
The “famous rock boobs” looks like Marylin Manson’s to me.
Rusty Warren – “Bounce Your Boobies”. Considered really naughty in 1961.
Faces, “Silicone Grown.”
I’m kind of surprised nobody has guessed the identity of the celebrity rock boobs in the photo. I suppose the fact that the boobs owner is seen in full clothing is throwing people off.
Loudon Wainwright’s Rufus is a Tit Man.
Is it Constanze Karoli of Country Life fame?
Nope. This chick also looks, unusually, like she’s *not* tripping balls — er, boobs.
“Boobs A Lot” by the Fugs and Holy Modal Rounders
“They’re big and round,
They’re all around.”
And here I was Googling the cover of “Have You Seen Your Mother, Baby …” to figure out which Stone it was.
The way you phrased the question I thought someone else owned her boobs. I’m going to go out on a limb and say it’s Karen Carpenter, back in the days when she ate food…whenever that was.
Zappa’s “Wet T-Shirt Night”.
When did they change the title to “Fembot in a Wet T-Shirt”??
Shakira, “Whenever, Wherever”:
“Lucky that my breasts are small and humble / So you don’t confuse them with mountains”
Which, shockingly, is not even the most bizarre line in a Shakira song.
“Titties & Beer” – Frank Zappa
Scissor Sisters – “T*ts on the radio.”
…there’s red eyed Ruby with her built up hips / She’s got nut crushing boobs and jam tart lips / Says her angle is connections downtown L.A / When you know she’s just a hustler from the boys’ brigade… Humble Pie – “79th and Sunset” sung by Steve Marriott
Wendy O. Williams of the Plasmatics?
o come ON!!!!
“I.L.B.T.’s” by that schticky “How ya doooin’?” man Joe Walsh!!
“I like tits for breakfast, for a midnight snack
I like tits for lunch…a Big Tit Attack!”
And “well they come in twos, it’s hard to choose your favorite tit (I like big tits!)”
At least half of the Rolling Stones’ “Little T&A” seems to be about breasts, although that song is so lame I can’t focus on whatever it’s actually about.
“I’ll let you flip my flipper if you let me unzip your zipper.” The Donnas – “Play My Game”
The Queers – “Ursala Finally Has Tits”
Isn’t that Stacia who used to dance naked on stage for Hawkwind?
Wow, she must date some really dumb guys.
DINGDINGDINGDINGDINGDING! Mockcarr wins the coveted RTH No-prize, Cassava Edition.
“Stop staring at my C-cups,” some song by the Donnas. Might be D-cups, I don’t remember.
Can I just say that Humble Pie wrote the absolute, all-time, hand-down GREATEST sleaze-rock anthems? I have a greatest hits comp that has like two or three of them — what are they again? — “Hot and Nasty” is one for sure. “79th & Sunset,” for sure. What’s the one I’m forgetting?
RaoulG wins. Even though this is not a contest, RaoulG wins. Game over. Everybody stop playing now. Mod, please redirect everybody’s attention to something else. RaoulG wins.
Jewish Princess by Zappa.
“I want a dainty little Jewish princess, with titanic tits, and sandblasted zits”
Possibly 30 Days In The Hole? That song was anthemic and sleazy!
“Knockers Up” – Rusty Warren again
FYI: I’ve got a post from Happiness Stan ready to launch later today.
Somewhat related — National Cleavage Day is trending on Twitter!
Take it Off. usually only guys can pull off something that lunkheaded and make it work.
Something to do with Susan Jacks, I imagine?
Townshend’s “Give Blood” gets all maternal and pretentious with “the man who longs for the stifling, milk-flowing bosom”.
I know you all are fans of musical theater, but here’s a song all about breasts and bottoms:
I believe at one point Keith even drawls, “My tits and ass with soul, mama.” Double Score!
“Long Cool Woman”
A pair of moneybags made me open my eyes
My temperature started to rise