Nov 252008
 

We once examined artists Artists People Like More Because They Were Ka-Raaay-Zeeeee. Today, let’s discuss artists who may have benefitted from a ka-raaay-zeeeee band member and at least one artist who tried to raise his band’s profile with this angle but could not capitalize on the fact.

To kick things off, I believe The Zombies would have been loved and studied by more than Ken doll-smooth rock nerds if they’d had a ka-raaay-zeeeee band member.

Among failed attempts at playing the ka-raaay-zeeee angle, I’d start with Andy Partridge and XTC. He’s worked hard over the years at pumping up his legacy with “English Eccentric” details that go beyond his irrational fear of performing live, such as stories of his comic books, toy trains, war games, teenage antidepressant therapy, and penchant for masturbation. I’d guess these efforts have been for naught. They keep some of the Chalkhills crowd stokes, but rock lovers either dig XTC or they don’t. Have you ever met some asshole who says, “I’ve been getting into XTC, maaaannnnn. That Partridge guy is whack!”

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Nov 242008
 

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In an effort to jump-start the critically important deconstruction of Guns N’ Roses’ late-period video output, I’ve taken the liberty of posting the mini-film that provides visual accompaniment to their hit, “Cold November Rain.” It is Rock Town Hall’s hope that willing Townspeople will step forward with insightful observations and analyses, so that we may better understand what exactly is going on here.

Specific questions that deserve answers include, but are not limited to:

1. In the opening minute alone, Axl is transported thrice while playing piano: from a concert hall, to the inside of the church where he is to be married, to the barren wasteland of the American West. In considering this metaphorical statement about the vagaries of fame, the emptiness of love, and the meaninglessness of existence, I ask: why is he wearing a bandana when he isn’t actually bald? Isn’t that why rock stars usually turn to the bandana?

2. “It’s hard to hold a candle in the cold November rain.” Compare and contrast with the statement “Every rose has its thorn,” making, if you wish, specific reference to life-changing events in your personal history.

3. The cigarette dangling precariously from the lip: explain its role in rock imagery in general, and as a specific counterpoint to Axl’s pussy-ass power balladeering.

4. How many weddings were celebrated after this video was released, in which slightly paunchy, balding men stuffed themselves into Edwardian military waistcoats, and waggled pinky fingers newly adorned with adamantine elven-rings? I’m just askin’.

As always, I look forward to your comments.

HVB

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Nov 242008
 


I love hearing and reading musicians in their own words discuss the aspirations for their own songs. This morning I received a note from a friend in Spain with a link to a New York Times piece by The dB’s Peter Holsapple, entitled Anatomy of a Flop. It’s a well-written examination of his dashed desires for the song “Love Is For Lovers,” the failed single from the band’s underwhelming third album, Like This. Holsapple writes of his would-be hit:

It had (and has, I believe) an undeniable hook, the kind you’d find yourself singing in the shower or pounding along to on your steering wheel while driving. The performance, produced by Chris Butler at the old Bearsville Studio in upstate New York, has all the power of the best kind of rock: slamming drums, inventive bass, a solid riff and a fantastic solo.

You can hear both the failed single and a snippet of Holsapple’s original demo, with an old girlfriend on vocals (someone here must know who this woman was), alongside his piece. As many of you know, I’m a big fan of the first two dB’s albums, but Like This never quite worked for me. The “slamming drums” never sit well with me and as much as I love Gene Holder on bass, I thought he was a detriment to the band’s sound on guitar. I highly recommend reading this piece and reviewing the song.

Holsapple’s a good egg about the situation:

Of course, as usual, the glaring problematic element of the equation is the vocals provided by yours truly. I tried, God knows, and it sounds almost all right, but if there’s a weak spot in “Love is for Lovers,” it would be the singing.

Holsapple shoulders the burden for the song’s failure, but as the snippet of his original demo suggests, I think the band’s arrangement for the album version was too fussy and too “slamming” for its own good. “Amplifier,” sly and understated, recorded with the earlier 4-piece lineup, was rightfully the more successful song from Like This.

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Nov 232008
 

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From Dr. Pepper, March

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Media Contact:Chris Kooluris
Ketchum for Dr. Pepper
(646) 935-4098
Chris.Kooluris@ketchum.com

DR PEPPER WILL GIVE EVERYONE* IN AMERICA A FREE SODA IF AXL ROSE RELEASES NEW GUNS N’ ROSES ALBUM, CHINESE DEMOCRACY, IN 2008

*Guitarists Slash and Buckethead Will Not Be Eligible For Free Soda

PLANO, Texas (March 26, 2008) – Tired of a world in which Americans idolize wannabe singers and musicals about high schoolers pass as rock ‘n roll music, Dr Pepper is encouraging (ok, begging) Axl Rose to finally release his 17-year-in-the-making belabored masterpiece, Chinese Democracy, in 2008.

In an unprecedented show of solidarity with Axl, everyone in America, except estranged GNR guitarists Slash and Buckethead, will receive a free can of Dr Pepper if the album ships some time — anytime! — in 2008. Dr Pepper supports Axl, and fully understands that sometimes you have to make it through the jungle before you get it right.

“It took a little patience to perfect Dr Pepper’s special mix of 23 ingredients, which our fans have come to know and love,” said Jaxie Alt, director of marketing for Dr Pepper. “So we completely understand and empathize with Axl’s quest for perfection – for something more than the average album. We know once it’s released, people will refer to it as “Dr Pepper for the ears” because it will be such a refreshing blend of rich, bold sounds – an instant classic.”

Show your support for Axl and get on the nightrain of encouragement at http://www.chinesedemocracywhen.blogspot.com/ –

Continue reading »

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Nov 212008
 


About a week ago, MSNBC reported that the main contenders to replace Robert Plant in Led Zeppelin are:

  • Alter Bridge frontman Myles Kennedy
  • Chris Cornell of Soundgarden
  • Chad Kroeger of Nickelback

I was never that big a fan of Plant’s voice but I can’t imagine someone else filling in for him.

I don’t know who the first guy is, but if Chad Kroeger is on your shortlist of potential bandmates, things must be pretty dire. And imagine this from John Paul Jones’ perspective: after 15 years or so of getting snubbed by the very outfit that you co-founded, you finally get back in, only to have the douche from Nickleback fronting the band. So what are Jimmy Page and JPJ to do? Possibilities:

  • Give Terry Reid a chance to not blow it this time
  • Hold auditions on an American Idol style TV show like INXS did
  • Try to get the Devil to take their phone calls so they can plead with him to give their souls back

Any other suggestions?

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