Oct 242010

Keith Richards‘ autobiography, Life, is due October 26. In an effort to show just how smart Townspeople are and how able we are to move beyond cliched rock journalism and blog discussion, why don’t you see if you can use the time from now until the book’s release to tell us something we don’t already know about Keef, something off the beaten path, something fresh and insightful? Why wait until Keef tells us himself – if he even does get around to telling us something we don’t already know?

The Townsperson who tells us the Most Interesting Previously Unknown Fact or Anecdote about Keef – true or not – will be awarded a copy of the man’s new book! This contest runs through 11:59 pm EST, October 25, 2010. Contestants will be judged on Originality, Historical relevance, Avoidance of well-established Richards cliches (eg, Jack Daniels, blood transfusions, fights with Mick), etc.

A special message from our Celebrity Judge follows the jump!

RTH Celebrity Keef Autobiography Judge Brett Favre

Were you expecting Johnny Depp? I look forward to your entries.


  34 Responses to “RTH Contest: Win New Keith Richards Autobiography”

  1. At one point, in his very early years, Keith did *not* drink copious amounts of alcohol or ingest illegal narcotic substances. True story.

  2. jeangray

    At one point, in his very early years, Keef was actually kind of attractive in a very English, bad hygiene kind of way.

    True dat!

  3. On his wedding day, Keith played a Hoagie Carmichael song on piano for Patty.

  4. Come on, Townspeeps, we’re talking about the most highly anticipated rock autobiography since The Big Man’s! Don’t make it too easy to pick a winner.

  5. At one point, Keef snorted the ashes of his father.

  6. While still in school, Keith sang in the choir and once performed for the Queen in Westminster Abbey.

  7. mockcarr

    Keith’s Ben Franklin-loving parents had to be argued out of naming him Poor.

  8. When Peter Jackson was making the Lord of the Rings trilogy, he used Keith Richards as his inspiration for the look of Gollum, but had to soften the image so as not to scare the 5-13 year old demographic.

  9. In 1974 Keith recorded an as-yet-unreleased album of classical guitar.

  10. mockcarr

    Keith has a vestigal extra liver along his intestinal wall instead of an appendix, that’s how he’s lived so long apparently. However, it also may explain some of the shit he’s put out.

  11. misterioso

    That famously killer solo lp he put out in the 80s, Talk Is Cheap? Turns out it isn’t actually that good.

  12. Keith has not driven a car since 1969.

  13. mockcarr

    Keith has driven a car since then…but it’s a car that runs on COOL.

  14. This “baked” good looks like keef:

    Do not consider this an entry for the prize, thanks.

  15. cherguevara

    Keith’s guitar parts were actually all played by an elderly Korean woman he met at a stamp collecting “swapmeet” in 1959.

  16. These entries are awesome. The contest runs through 10/26. Favre may retire if it runs any longer than that.

  17. Doctors will no longer see Keef because his blood burns through metal and concrete like the blood from the creatures in Aliens.

  18. ladymisskirroyale

    This is reminding me of that classic team building game, “Two Truths and A Lie.” Classic game, classic Keef.

  19. Much has been made of the early revelation that Keef’s nickname for Jagger is “Brenda” but, truth is, that’s his nickname for pretty much everyone.

  20. Keith was born with just one testicle. But it’s colossal and made out of solid brass. True story.

  21. Most know that Keef fell out of a coconut tree a few years back. Not as many people know that Keef has also fallen out of elm, oak, spruce, alder, pear, both Canadian and Japanese maple, dogwood, and magnolia trees. He also once tripped over a ficus.

  22. mockcarr

    To elaborate on CF’s information – the story with Keef falling out of the tree is usually misunderstood. Since he actually was not “born”, but fell out of a tree, he was only trying to go home. Unfortunately, as is painfully obvious, coconut trees are not indigenous to the London area, and it took several tries before his current tree would accept him.

  23. cherguevara

    Keith has a 1959 Tele with a secret compartment inside which contains the missing piece of Jerry Garcia’s finger.

  24. mockcarr

    Before the eventually filmed ending was written, the movie Soylent Green posited that Keith Richards’ cigarettes were made of people.

  25. Keith has reportedly been heavily influenced by the relatively obscure American guitarist, Chuck Berry, and, in his early years, apparently purchased and listened to many of Mr. Berry’s 1950’s era recordings made for the Chess Records label.

  26. In the 70’s, Keith visited Jamaica, where he met Rastafarian shaman who took him deep into the Blue Mountains. It was there, that sacred herbs were consumed and ancient blood transfusion techniques were made. This transfusion and mixing of blood gave Keith new life ,ridding him of his addiction and giving him the gift of longevity. Evidence of this rumor can be made as with each passing year Keith morphs more and more into an elder Jamaican.

  27. Keef and Anita Pallenberg have become one and the same.


  28. Wow, if that’s not an anti-drug poster-in-the-making I don’t know what is.

  29. misterioso

    Keith but the bomp in the bomp ba bomp ba bomp.

  30. mockcarr

    Who wrote the Book Of Love? Keith. But he mistakenly used that papery thing tied up with string to start a fire to warm himself in his cold-water flat.

  31. The only think keeping Keith alive is the $5 bet he made with Mick in 1971 that he would live till age 75.

  32. Sober car drivers have failed breath-o-lyzer tests just by having Keef riding next to them as a passenger.

  33. One hour and nineteen minutes left to compete for this book!


    Congratulations to Townsman cherguevarra, for the following entry, which made RTH Celebrity Judge Brett Favre laugh so hard that he briefly retired – and then came out of retirement to throw a rally-killing interception:

    Keith has a 1959 Tele with a secret compartment inside which contains the missing piece of Jerry Garcia’s finger.

    cher, please send me your mailing address offlist (mrmoderator [at] rocktownhall [dot] com) and your prize will be sent your way. Thanks to all of you for playing!

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