Is there any rock sibling more disappointing than 38 Special's Donnie Van Zandt? Has any rock sibling brought more shame to his or her family - not to mention an entire region of the United States - than the brother of Southern Rock's leading light, Ronnie Van Zandt? Think about the pride and identity Ronnie brought to his people, and then think about Donnie's role as leader of a band that the members of REO Speedwagon thought were wimpy. I doubt Donnie got to sit anywhere near Papa Van Zandt at family gatherings.

All these years I thought Donnie was the same younger Van Zandt who's filled in on tours by the surviving members of Lynyrd Skynyrd, but he's not! I just learned that that's another kid brother, Johnny. So Donnie doesn't even have that redeeming quality.

This one's for BigSteve!

I am proposing possibly the shortest Last Man Standing competition in the history of Rock Town Hall...but how many times have you heard that before?

I was listening to a song today that mentioned the animal the buffalo. My mind quickly raced to two other rock songs that involve the animal the buffalo. Just now, a few hours later, a fourth song came to mind, maybe the most obvious. Can you name the four songs that I have in mind? Can you name any more than four rock songs involving the animal the buffalo?

Rock songs involving the city of Buffalo do not count. Sorry "Buffalo Rocks," or whatever.

Because pickings are so slim, I will sit this contest out. Hopefully I will still remember the four songs I presently have in mind. Go to it!

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Here's an oldie, but goodie that's relevant today.

E. Pluribus, don't make me call Joan Sheedy on your behalf!

Snowed-in Townspeople, let's give Gergs the pep talk he needs to get out there and shovel. Thanks.

If I heard right, while listening to Black Flag's "Slip It In" on the drive into work, Henry Rollins introduces Greg Ginn's freakout solo and generally orgasmic fade out with the command to "Mount up!" You can hear it for yourself at the 5:15 mark of this video.

If there is a better vocal intro to a guitar solo than Henry Rollins' command to "Mount up!" then this is the place to prove it!

Which vocal intro to an instrumental solo dares step inside the squared circle?

The following piece originally appeared on Overlooked Gems of My Lifetime, a personal blog I have not updated in too long. It's been a downer of a week on many levels, so I capped it off by revisiting this album. Then I thought, Why not revisit this piece and share it with you while I'm at it? I hope your week has not required a spin of this overlooked gem, but if it has, more power to you! Finally, let me make a special shout out to this album's second-biggest fan (not), Townsman General Slocum. Enjoy.

This frequently derided live album marks the end of the road for the The Velvet Underground. It's a cassette-recorded, nearly bootleg affair, in which the band plays to what sounds like a dozen Max's regulars who are audibly more interested in scoring than checking out Lou's last show with the band. Although the band's better-known and cherished 1969: Velvet Underground Live is objectively "better," Max's has always gotten more spins on my turntable.

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No way!

The Baseball Hall of Fame recently determined that Andre "The Hawk" Dawson will enter the Hall and be memorialized on his plaque as a member of the Montreal Expos. Years ago players elected to the Hall of Fame could determine which team they would represent. I believe the Hall decided to take more control in this decision after George Steinbrenner began offering millions of dollars to Dave Winfield and other well-traveled inductees to enter the Hall wearing a Yankees cap, even if they played just a few years with the Yankees compared with longer, more accomplished stays in other cities. Dawson, who starred for the defunt Expos for the first 10 years of his career wanted to go in as a member of the Cubs, for whom he won an MVP award during his 6 years and actually played in front of enthusiastic, English-speaking crowds. He said he's going to figure out some classy way to pay homage to his Cubs fans while respecting the Hall's decision to cast his likeness in bronze wearing an Expos hat.

What's all this have to do with jeans - I mean rock 'n roll? I was thinking about some well-traveled musicians who've been inducted in the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame and, if that Hall had such rules, making it necessary to determine one band lineup or instrument to cast in bronze. As it is, the R 'n R HoF allows for artists to be inducted as both a member of one band and a solo artist. I don't think they make a Pete Townshend, for instance, choose a single guitar to represent his display. But what if they did?

What single guitar would the R 'n R HoF choose to represent Pete Townshend, the Rickenbacker of his Maximum Rock 'n Roll days or the Gibson SG of the band's breakthrough festival years?

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Some of you noobs may not have caught this classic Jam. Rise to the occasion and give it a shot. Once you're finished and your mind is clear tell us what's on your mind.

Mom threw me out 'til I get some pants that fit.

Wearing the right jeans at the right time have long been a crucial element to rock 'n roll stardom. It may have been a passage from Clinton Heylin's excellent oral history of proto-punk, From the Velvets to the Voidoids, that's stuck with me all these years, but I recall cracking up at a comment by David Thomas of Pere Ubu regarding his inability to ever fit into cool jeans, not to mention his parents' complete lack of interest in keeping him dressed in the current Levi's fashion trends. He was talking about the humorous teen angst behind "Final Solution" when he bemoanded an adolescence stuck wearing the "BoBo" brand Big Yank jeans. As we knew then, as we know now, some brands don't cut it in rock 'n roll.

To ease the development process for aspiring young rockers as well as to revisit and perhaps gain closure on some of our denim growing pains, I thought it might be helpful to conduct a frank, candid forum on The Dos and Don'ts of Rock Jeans.

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Ain't that the truth!

I don't know much about Olde Tyme Musik, you know, all that pre-rock, not-even-blues-or-otherwise-proto rock stuff that some Townspeople, such as Hrrundivbakshi, hank fan, and cdm, dig. For years I didn't want to get near that stuff. Very, very slowly I've accepted that it can be very good, even great. Ella Fitzgerald continues to be the Olde Tyme Musik figure I enjoy most. I like how precise and direct she is. Rosemary Clooney is cool too. Of the guys, I get a kick out of Tony Bennett and Dean Martin, but half of the pleasure is from laughing at them. They're loveably goofy, like some of my Italian-American uncles. I've noticed that Nat King Cole is easy for me to dig when he's fronting his small combo. On the other hand, I can usually leave the legendary Frank Sinatra. As I've stated before, he sounds like a dick.

Last night I watched To Have and Have Not for maybe the 10th time. It's one of my favorite Olde Tyme Films. I really identify with Bogie's character...Nah, I wish! There's so much that I love about this film, and each time I watch it one of the things I love more and want to know more about is Hoagy Carmichael, who appears as the bandleader in the club in which most of the story is set. I can only do justice in expressing how I feel about him in my circa 1973, 5th grader terms:

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