Sep 092012

Our new best friends over at Touchstone Books (a Division of Simon & Schuster) have given us three copies of the new Freddie Mercury biography. More information about the book is below the fold. To win a brand new copy of your very own simply comment with a link to an image of a music-related personality that rocks the cop ‘stache as well as or better than the late great Freddie Mercury. It’s just that easy.


Here are some real cop ‘staches for guidance.

For what it’s worth, according to the pros over at Mustache Summer.

The Police Departments in Los Angeles and elsewhere have a Dress Code for their officers, which details how an officer is to present himself. One of the areas covered is facial hair, which is only allowed in the form of a mustache, and cannot extend below the corner of the mouth. If a police officer wants to grow whiskers, he must grow a ‘stache. That mustachio’d cop on the corner may be burning for a goatee or a Soul Patch, but departmental regulations help keep him from making a horrible mistake.

Also, to ensure complete objectivity in judging, we have enlisted a celebrity to make the calls. Our guest judge is…


  76 Responses to “Win a Copy of
MERCURY: An Intimate Biography of Freddie Mercury
Just Meet or Beat the Cop ‘Stache

  1. Greg Norton of Husker Du had a number of mustache styles going on — but here’s a nice cop version.

  2. “On the bass, Derek Smalls! He wrote this.”

  3. ohmstead

    Phil Collins as Bath House owner Eddie Papasano in the “And the Band Played On”

  4. My problem with both the Dylan and the Brian Ferry ‘stache is that they are both going for a smarmy/hip look. Their ‘stahces are sculpted, as opposed to someone who just didn’t shave under their nose, such as Bill Keurtzman:

  5. Or that guy from the Atlanta Rhythm Section who appears to have opted for some white Sans-a-Belt trousers on the day of the big photo shoot:;encoding=jpg;size=300;fallback=defaultImage

    By the way, there is a picture of one of our fellow townsmen on their band’s facebook page sporting what looks to me like a non-ironic cop stache. In the interest of keeping things civil, I will not out him.

  6. All the Sgt Pepper era Beatles seem to sport cop staches, but those photos exude so much peace and love, you can’t imagine one of them being a cop.

  7. schneids

    randy meisner, on the right, from eagles (no “the”)

    here’s a better shot of him toeing the “lip line”!


    Brad Delp would like to see your license and Barry Goodreau would like to see your registration please.

  9. DAMNIT! I thought we were going to be charged with raising our own cop ‘stache in pursuit of the prize. And being about a month away from rocking a half-way-there Bangladesh George goatee, visions of Free Bios danced in my head as I celebrated my head-start on the Town Hall

    And I ain’t stooping to no Village People entry. I’ll just buy it when I see it.


  10. Officer Walsh mustache you a few questions about your whereabouts on the night of the incident.

    (He’s even got the glasses).

  11. pudman13

    I always thought Wilson pikcett had a kiler ‘stache:

  12. Gerry Todd

    I posted my definitive answer in the All-Star Jam. AND I did it before this contest was opened. So, like, bonus points! I should win at least 2 of the 3 if not all 3 of the books.

  13. I’ll throw in this has been and hope it’s a link you can reach..

  14. ladymisskirroyale

    There are cop ‘staches and there are COP ‘staches. And of course you know who was the biggest, baddest cop of them all! But did you know Der Fuhrer was also a song and dance man?

    Here he is singin’ the blues (starting at 4:29):

    Later, he plays the bass at (6:54).

  15. meanstom

    Beside John Oates’ cop ‘stache do you honestly think any of the other contestants offered so far put even half the effort into abiding by the laws governing cop ‘staches as Freddie did?

    The midwest smalltown cop ‘stache of Weezer’s Rivers Cuomo has got to be considered.

  16. Jon Oates
    There is a pic of a barechested Jon Oates with his thick, I think copstache. Its the first photo from the top as you scroll down.
    To me his stache looks kind of like one of those cops with the bowler hats. The ones in the late 19th century in London. You know the Bobbies. I think named after the first UK police commissioner Robert Peel.

  17. ohmstead

    Nick Cave doing his best “If Freddy had lived” impersonation.

  18. I’m still waiting for our fellow townsman (or woman) to come clean about their former cop-stache. The photos are out there.

  19. alexmagic
    Frank Beard famously does not have a beard, but he will ask you to please stay in the car and show him your license and registration.

    (That said, I kinda want to disqualify him because his hair in that picture thoroughly transforms the look from solid Cop ‘Stache to “Retired Pitcher Trying To Transition Into Manager Or Maybe One Of Them TV Jobs Or You Know Whatever Man It’s Cool”.)

  20. Stache, sunglasses, cop shaped hat, and the appropriate title: I give you the Captain.

  21. 2000 Man

    Justin Bieber got into his mom’s makeup box:

    He doesn’t look much like a cop, but I bet one would beat him up. I mean, who wouldn’t?

  22. meanstom

    Not enough to win, I’m sure, but George Harrison flirted with a law-abiding ‘stache in the ’70s.

  23. If only Jeff Kent was holding an ax instead of a bat he’d clean up in this competition. Cops keep a picture of him on their precinct bulletin boards to illustrate proper cop ‘stache form.

  24. ladymisskirroyale

    Dear Tom, I know you are too modest to show this to your loyal fans, but I think they should be aware:

  25. ohmstead

    George has already made an appearance…but check out Paul…could be eligible:

    (And BTW – be sure to check out the “yacht rock” of Mustache Harbor –

  26. Slim Jade

    Frankie Say Paul Rutherford!

  27. Dang, in my mind I can totally picture Jimmy Buffett with a straight up winner but all I can find on the internet is him with a Freystache, originally made popular by on of Eagles.

  28. Slim Jade

    Maybe a stupid question at this point, and frankly I don’t feel like scanning through the entries, but has anyone mentioned “Construction Guy” from The Village People?

  29. Just a few more hours to go until the entry period closes and Officer Selleck determines our winners!

  30. Ok, here are a couple last minute efforts…Mr. JY Young had this reasonable effort for quite a while I believe

    While Mr. Prine went through many hairy looks, but this was a fair standard
    (scroll down to his photo-the 2nd)

  31. […] has spoken and his rulings are final. Below the fold are the winners, in alphabetical order, of the Beat the Cop ‘Stache […]

twitter facebook youtube