Nov 042015



Please assign each band member the most appropriate activity based on what you assume their skill set to be:
1. Be your guest at a dinner party
2. Babysit/pet sit/house sit for a week
3. Help remodel the kitchen/assist with home repairs
4. Pick out a wardrobe that you will then wear exclusively for the next year

John, Paul, George, Ringo
Mick, Keith, Charlie, Brian/Bill
Crosby, Stills, Nash, Young
Mercury, May, Deacon, Taylor

Sep 142015


I’m looking for the names of people mentioned in the Bible. The rules:

  1. The song must refer to an official saint or an actual person in the Bible (not just someone with the same name i.e. Abraham, Martin and John is not about the biblical Abraham).
  2. The name can only be used once.
  3. A song can only be used once.
  4. Be sure to heed the 11th commandment “Thou shall not Bogart the thread” and limit your answers to one per response.

I will start off with Abraham from “Highway 61” (“God said to Abraham ‘Kill me a son’; Abe said ‘Man, you must be putting me on…'”)

Mar 242015

Walk in the Woods by Peter Case popped up on a YouTube feed today and I was once again struck by how great the lyrics are (see below). They tell the story of a young couple who disappears from a small town after going for a walk in the woods. None of the townsfolk can find them or imagine what horrible fate befell them. In the end, even the narrator is unable to tell us what happened to them because [SPOILER ALERT!] he takes a walk in the woods and he never comes back.

The challenge is to name a song where the lyrics contain a surprise twist at the end. Please include a brief description of what the twist was.
And, as always, please limit your answers to one per post.

Out past the cemetery, Down by the willow bend,
Half a mile from the railroad track
Last seen together, these two lovers hand in hand
They took a walk in the woods and they never come back

News from the radio it rang out through the fields,
just when they thought they found the track
through a patch of four leaf clovers, They vanished in thin air
They took a walk in the woods and they never come back

Never before in history has this town been so up in arms
You never head such misery as those blood hounds cross the farms
Between God & the police, they were protected from all harm
They took a walk in the woods and they never come back

Sounds where emergency, no evidence was removed
You never heard such theories, but none of them could be proved
For the missing children, no conscience could be soothed
They took a walk in the woods and they never come back

Well that was fifteen years ago, I guess I come a long long way
I never heard the end of it, you know I couldn’t stay . . .
When I’m not stuck for time or money, I still wonder about that day
I took a walk in the woods and I never come back

Mar 202015

I’m finally getting around to reading Don Felder’s autobiography “Heaven and Hell” and am really enjoying it. I’m just getting to the part where he meets the Eagles and am very much looking forward to being outraged by Don Henley’s douchy-ness and Glenn Frey’s annoying alpha-frat-bro behavior.

I never thought about it much, but “Donald” is not a very rock and roll sounding name. On a scale of 1-10, with 10 being Johnny or Mick, and a 1 being something like Ernie (no offense to Ernie K Doe and Ernie Isley intended), Donald has to come in at about 2 or 3. It feels like a name better suited for an accountant or a municipal clerk, rather than someone playing to sold out crowds and reveling in the accompanying sex and drugs.

The fact that the Eagle had two Donalds in their band might have created a certain disruption to their psychic feng shui that they could never overcome no matter how many units they sold.

On the other hand, Donald Roeser of Blue Oyster Cult had the good sense to change his name to Buck Dharma, and while “Buck” is not the greatest rock name, it certainly ranks higher than Donald, and may have, in some small, intangible way, helped nudge the band closer to the path of creative righteousness.

Anyway, here are some rock and roll Donalds, listed in order of their ability to triumph over what, in retrospect, was a poorly chosen name and a sizable original sin to overcome.

Donald “Duck” Dunn
Don Covey
Donald Fagan
Don Dixon
Don Was
Don Felder
Don McClean
Donnie Iris
Don Henley

Dec 052014

One of my brothers sent me this video yesterday. WTHeck!?

We here in the Halls of Rock Town are sometimes taken to task for being overly negative, snarky, hyper-critical, and all too often, just downright rude. As part of our collective efforts to bring a bit of sunshine and light to the world wide web, we occasionally make an extra effort effort to find something good to say about, you know, stuff that is clearly godawful.

It is in that spirit that we embark on yet another effort to bring some positivity to our proceedings. Please spend some quality time with the video above, then — if you can — please find something nice to say about it. You’ll feel a whole lot better, I promise you.

I look forward to your comments. Just remember, if you can’t say anything nice about this video… please don’t say anything at all.

Sep 052014

I’ve noticed some startling parallels in how the roles of certain members of different bands match up, making me think that rather than arising organically from a mutual love of music, these bands were assembled by the record industry, or more likely the Illuminati, from templates. For instance:

Rolling Stones/Grateful Dead

Brian Jones is to the Stones as Pigpen is to the Grateful Dead

  • Defined the image early on
  • Largely influenced the band’s musical direction in the beginning only to be eclipsed by band mates

Mick Taylor = Keith Godchaux

  • Virtuoso brought in once they were established.
  • Feelings of being under-appreciated by audience/bandmates cause them to leave their once-in-a-lifetime gigs.

Ron Wood = Brent Mydland

  • Solid, unobtrusive player
  • Goes along to get along

Mick Jagger = Bob Wier

  • Of the two main band members, he is seen as being much more uncool
  • Actual contributions to the band are frequently underestimated

Keef = Jerry

  • Always given the benefit of the doubt by the fans.

Bill Wyman = Tom Constantine

  • Nobody really cares
  • Possibly just photo fodder to make the other members look more interesting/attractive

Are there any other two bands where individual member’s roles match up so neatly?

Aug 252014


Naming a band is not as easy as it seems. Ideally, the name will convey a lot of information, giving the general public a clue about what to expect without feeling to forced or overwrought.

  1. What is the greatest gap between a good name and bad music?
  2. What is the greatest gap between a bad name and good music?
  3. Which band name, regardless of the quality of the music or the name itself, seems the most inappropriate choice for that given band?
  4. Which band name seems like the people naming it were trying too hard?
  5. Which band name seems like the people naming it couldn’t give a shit?
  6. What would you name a band and what type of music would your band play?

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