Mr. Moderator

Mr. Moderator

When not blogging Mr. Moderator enjoys baseball, cooking, and falconry.

Hey Man, Simply Put, Headphones Aren’t My Bag

 Posted by
Nov 052010
 

Originally published January 30, 2007. (I’ve since acquired an iPod but stand behind these views.)

A lot of my friends ask me why I have held out on the iPod revolution. “Hey, Mr. Mod,” I hear almost weekly, “why are you still holding out on the iPod revolution?”

They tell me I can carry 85,000 songs with me wherever I go. They tell me I can hit Shuffle and not hear the same song twice for the next 3 years. They tell me the iTunes store has almost everything. They tell me I can just delete the songs I’d have to skip on vinyl or a CD. They tell me about the weird and wonderful combinations of songs that just happen to pop up in random order, say Funkadelic’s “Can You Get to That” followed by Glen Campbell’s “Galveston” followed by something from that Outkast soundtrack album, which really wasn’t that bad.

Truth be told, whenever I hear about one of these fantastic random sequence experiences a friend had, I don’t know what to say. It’s an I had to be there moment. I had to be in my friend’s head. My friend’s bopping along in his or her little iShuffle, headphones helping to mainline the grooves, and there’s little room for me in the equation. I can’t dislodge an earbud from my friend’s ear and share in the iGroove, can I?

It used to be, when faced with the faraway eyes of an iProselyte, I’d go on some rant about how I didn’t want to be beholden to the Apple Empire, dammit! That never quite cut it. I don’t know if it was my delivery or what. Then I tried blaming the earbuds, but someone was bound to point out other headphone alternatives that were much more comfortable, that had better sound quality, that blocked out all surrounding noises. “If there’s one thing I can’t stand,” they might say, “it’s hearing the damn pilot tell me we’re now flying over Lake Michigan when I’ve got some Mothers cranking.”

I regret the years I tried to convince people of the reasons for my not wanting an iPod based on some socially or technologically relevant grounds. These days I’m up front about it:
Continue reading »

Share

Battle Royale: Best Dancing by a Pre-teen Kid, Excluding Anything Involving Michael Jackson

 Posted by
Nov 052010
 

I think you can top the pre-teen dance moves by this girl appearing alongside James Brown in this performance of “Hell.” How I used to love listening to this album when I was about 10 years old, hanging out in my uncle’s bedroom and digging his 8-track tapes! I couldn’t dance as well as this girl back then, as now, but I bet some kid other than Michael Jackson and his siblings and “special, little friends” have topped her work. Which kid dancer in will come out on top?

Share

Please Explain: The Grateful Dead…to a 13-Year-Old Boy

 Posted by
Nov 042010
 

Last night my 13-year-old son asked my wife and I if The Grateful Dead were any good. I quickly answered, “They’ve got some good songs, but generally they were really sloppy with lots of pointless improvisations and bad singing. We’ve got some friends who like them a lot.”

“I know you love ‘Bertha’!” said my wife, and that I do.

My wife, who’d been to 10 Dead and Dead-related shows in her college days, couldn’t give them a much better explanation. She objected, however, to my later characterization of them playing no more than 30 minutes of coherent music during a 3-hour set. “‘Drums and Space’ only took up 45 minutes of a set!”

“But what about songs like ‘St. Stephen,'” I replied, “which start out on fire for 20 seconds before veering off into a few minutes of Jerry’s mellow improvisations before returning to the main theme?”

“So they’re like Pink Floyd?” my son interjected, referring specifically to a short film of the Syd-led band playing “Interstellar Overdrive” at some famous Happening that was shown prior to the screening of that recent Doors’ documentary.

Obviously I’m not going to be of great help in setting up the Dead for a fair listen by my boy. I’ll play our son the half dozen songs I like a lot by The Dead as well as some of those long jams and terrible cover songs, but help me put into words what this musically attuned 13-year-old boy might expect. And please, don’t attempt to corrupt the kid. Thank you.

Share

Bullshit On: Can

 Posted by
Nov 032010
 

Granted, the following video of Can is probably not considered representative of the band’s sound, but the revolutionary, political mumbo jumbo surrounding it is – I believe – a major factor in this band’s critical acclaim among rock snobs.

I can empathize with many of you who identify with the “socialist” stance of a Can or Henry Cow, with the “anarchist” stance of an MC5. It’s hard to give up on the belief that rock ‘n roll is important, and who better to uphold rock’s claims to social relevance than some avant-garde German hippies? If only these high-minded expressions were upheld in the grooves… Continue reading »

Share

Phish Phans Phind Band “Boring” After Having Drugs Confiscated

 Posted by
Nov 032010
 

The Atlantic City police force’s confiscation of illicit drugs held by attendees of Phish’s recent 3-night stint left longtime fans of the jam band wondering what all the fuss had been about.

“I should have eaten my mushrooms before leaving the car,” said one 20-something fan who asked to remain anonymous following his first disappointing experience at a Phish concert after attending “dozens” of shows since the band’s 2009 reunion. “Without even a roach to smoke you could say the scales fell from my eyes: Booorrrrrrinnng!”

“Their harmonies were better than I’d ever realized,” said Alex, 56, a jewler from New Hope, “but I don’t go to a Phish concert to relive the magic of the friggin’ Everly Brothers, not to mention I don’t travel to AC to get hassled by the Gestapo over a friggin’ joint.”

“The cops didn’t even care when I told them I have ADHD,” complained Brooks, 17, of Collingswood, NJ, who managed to keep only a strategically placed whippet after being frisked. “After getting bored out of my gourd by Trey’s endless jamming,” he chuckled, “maybe I do!”

Other fans whose drugs were confiscated expressed similar feelings of dissatisfaction with the band’s performance. Shaun, a 40-something fan who’s attended over 200 Phish shows since the demise of her beloved Grateful Dead, was more philosophical. “I mean, everyone has an off night now and then, you know? Maybe the cops took their stash too.”

Share
 Older Entries  Newer Entries

Lost Password?

 
twitter facebook youtube