Following last week’s possible farewell edition of Saturday Night Shut-In Mr. Moderator takes a run at the sun on this Memorial Weekend, Summer-Fun broadcast with a No-Muss, No-Fuss 30th Episode! Selections from the likes of Lou Reed, Amon Düül, and Snakefinger will have you reaching for the suntan lotion! And get this: as good as this episode promises to be it’s nothing more than a prelude to next weekend’s Sausages for Sammy Extravaganza and Classic Rock Psychic Rock Block Event!
[audio:https://www.rocktownhall.com/blogs/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/RTH-Saturday-Night-Shut-In-30.mp3|titles=RTH Saturday Night Shut-In, episode 30]
[Note: The Rock Town Hall feed will enable you to easily download Saturday Night Shut-In episodes to your digital music player. In fact, you can even set your iTunes to search for an automatic download of each week’s podcast.]
Somebody sent me a copy of the photo above, obviously meaning to get my dander up. My obvious first question, as I’m sure it was yours, was “who the hell are these two idiots, and why is my President shaking their hand?”
Turns out they’re the latest manufactured pop idols from across the pond — Ireland, I believe — and they call themselves “Jedward.” Their music — at least the small amount of it I’ve heard — is predictably terrible.
But look — I don’t have the time to rant about how awful their music is, or even how sick I am of pop music that relies on image-mongering at the expense of good songcraft. But I do have the time to rant about how this duo’s “act” is the closest thing I’ve seen to honest-to-God Nazi rally theatrics since you-know-when. Or at least the realization of every dystopian, sci-fi “rock star of the 23rd century” vision ever committed to film.
Don’t believe me? Check this out:
I have so many questions about this clip: are these two yucka-pucks even remotely aware of what they’re mimicking here? Does their audience get the same thrill people experienced when the Fuhrer rolled down the streets of Berlin in 1939? Did President Obama ever lean over to Michelle and whisper, “what the FUCK were people thinking, making us sit through this white-boy Kid-n-Play-meets-Riefenstahl bullshit?” And, also interesting to me: I wonder how the money breaks down in the Jedward deal. Is it, like, a Broadway thing, where each show costs an astonishing amount of money, but the take at the door is $80/seat? Jedward certainly can’t float that kind of cash — so you know the producers are making out here. But where does that leave poor Jedward? And how do acts like Jedward progress artistically, once they’ve committed temselves to this kind of career?
Sorry this is unfocused — my mind is still reeling.
You know the drill: Dugout Chatter is Rock Town Hall’s rapid-fire thread that requires nothing more than your gut answers! Don’t think too long. Don’t think too hard. Perhaps you shouldn’t think at all. No one’s an expert on the topics that follow. Just answer the questions.
[NOTE: The term rock concert, as used in the following questions, connotes paid attendance at a show by a touring artist, rather than, say, coincidental attendance at the debut of a lame teenage band playing for your 8th grade dance in a church basement.]
What was your first rock concert?
What do you recall most impressed you at this first rock concert?
Have you ever flicked a Bic in approval of a band’s performance?
Have you ever gone home with a piece of a band’s gear (eg, set list, drum sticks, guitar pick, cod piece)?
Who is the most memorable special guest performer you’ve ever seen join a band on stage at a rock concert that you’ve attended?
Have you ever made out at a rock concert?
What band’s live show most made a believer out of you after years of not caring for the band on record?
Let’s try another 1-2 Punch, shall we? Top 10 lists are too much; Top 5 lists invite too many opportunities for throwing in a hipster, obscuro choice to distinguish oneself from the raging masses. What I’d like to know is what TWO (2) songs you would choose from an artist’s catalog to say as much about that artist that you believe represents said artist’s core as possible? In other words, if you could only use TWO (2) songs from an artist’s catalog to explain all that said artist is about to a Venusian, what TWO (2) songs would you pick to represent said artist’s place in rock ‘n roll?
I’ll pose two artists and you—love ’em or leave ’em—give me each artist’s representative 1-2 Punch. Dig? Here goes!
