Feb 182007
 

So I’m about to hit the airport to catch a redeye flight from San Francisco (“Frisco”) back home to Philadelphia. After my program with work wrapped up, our boss hired a car to take us on a whirlwind tour of the area meant to fulfill various Frisco wishes and simply allow us all to kick back after a fun yet grueling weekend. I was the most veteran Frisco traveler of the bunch, but our driver – a native – took us to a number of places I’d never had the opportunity to see: he dropped us off at the Golden Gate Bridge and waited on the other side while we walked across it, we drove to Sausalito, Marin Headlands (where the Bay opens up to the Pacific Ocean), and other places. I even saw a few more spots in San Fran that I’d never seen before. Tons of fun with a great group of coworkers.

While standing on a rocky cliff overlooking the Pacific ocean, I had the following 2 thoughts, both of which I’ve had before while visiting the area:

  • It’s too bad I wasted my prime partying years in Philadelphia and Chicago. Nothing against either city, but Marin County is where I should have been doing all those things I used to do.
  • Had I grown up in the area, I would not have been nearly the tight-ass I am. In fact, I would have gotten into jahmmin’. I would have fully embraced my inner hippie. I think it’s the environment more than genetic predisposition that makes some of us jahm and others verge on airtight and/or pile-driving arrangements.

I’m curious to know whether there are jahm-averse Townspeople who grew up on the West Coast. I’m curious to know whether there are jahm-loving Townspeople who grew up surrounded by cement or prefab suburban communities. More to the point, have you ever found yourself in a new environment that allowed you to expand your comprehension of a form of music that was previously foreign to you?

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Feb 182007
 

Folks: it’s with a somewhat heavy heart that I have to open up a dialog on a topic of some internal conflict for me, namely: how much do I really like Jeff Lynne?

The truth is, I’ve always been deeply conflicted about this guy. On the one hand, he wrote, arranged, performed and produced some of the most pleasing ear candy to emerge from the 70s — an era when radio competition was particularly fierce. For a while there, the guy was unstoppable, and *prolific* to boot. And those songs! Pure pop perfection!

Even his lesser numbers — like the material he tossed off for the godawful Olivia Neutron Bomb vehicle “Xanadu” — kicked ass. What pop tunesmith wouldn’t give his right arm to be able to write something like “I’m Alive,” or the title track from that movie?

And it’s not like Mr. Lynne doesn’t also have an impeccable pop/rock pedigree, to boot. Lesser rock nerds will of course know that he was a critically important member of the underappreciated late-phase Move, along with Mod fave Roy Wood. Serious Prock aficionados will even have heard a track or two from his admirable early efforts with the Idle Race. And — Lord knows — he keeps all the “right company” *these* days.

So what is it about this guy that keeps him rattling around in the same box where I keep my Jellyfishes, Ringo solo albums, Badfinger singles and such? More than any artist, I want to say — at the same time — “he’s awesome!” and “he’s a hack!” I mean, I don’t feel this way about Hall & Oates, fercrissake!

Is it the signature, unmistakable production? The have-your-cake-and-eat-it-too attitude towards wanting to be “orchestral” and candy-coated at the same time? The awful Look? Just plain jealousy? What is it?

I’m hoping that hearing what the rest of you think about Mr. Lynne will help me come to grips with my feelings on the man.

I look forward to your responses.

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Feb 162007
 


When the whole discussion about The Rolling Stones’lackluster performance in “Rock & Roll Circus” came up on RTH recently, it got me to thinking, Are The Stones ever good live? I’ve seen firsthand the “mach schau” they put on in concert (September 1981 at Philly’s old JFK stadium). No frontman before or since one moved like the nancy-pants Mick Jagger did. No one looked less pleased to be playing live than Bill Wyman. No one looked smaller on the big stage than Charlie Watts did at that show. Only Ron Woodand Keith Richards seemed up to the task of rocking the 100,000 or so fans in attendance. The only thing that saved me from completely hating the show was getting high for the second time in my life (the first time being the night before on my 18th birthday).

So they may be over-the-top live – too much so for my taste – but some fans counter that they are a “great live band” in a musical sense. The People must be right? They have released at least 8 live albums so the thinking could go, They must be doing something good live. But do people actually like these albums? I had Got Live if You Want It and Get Yer Ya-Ya’s Out and I could never get into them. You know what always bummed me out? All the songs were sluggish! It’s like Charlie Watts thought he could get some extra oomph in the songs by playing them 15% slower. No thank you! I want to see some ENERGY live. I want to hear some ENERGY live.

Jagger’s vocals also bum me out. I know it is hard to sing when you are shaking your butt like Charo and skipping across the stage but some of fans actually want to hear the melodies and hear the tone of the singer’s voice they’ve grown accustomed to hearing on record.

Am I alone in this half-assed rant? Anyone care to back me up? What does RTH think?

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Feb 152007
 

I have personal reasons for organizing Rock Town Hall’s First Annual KISS Army Reunion. Some moderators may be hesitant to share, but that’s not my style. In sharing, however, it is likely that old wounds will be reopened. Whether scabbed or scarred over, these wounds have not healed. We’ve got to treat the infection, treat the cause of our collective cultural suffering, and then perhaps, we will restore the brotherhood in rock that was our generation’s birthright.

In 1978, KISS released the double-album greatest hits collection, Double Platinum. I was 15 years old, deep in the process of a rock ‘n roll reawakening that had been put on hold sometime around the age of 8, when I first became immersed in sports. My brother was 10, wrapping up his stint in Cub Scouts and finding his way in a family that had focused too much attention on Big Brother.

The Last Waltz and The Kids Are Alright were being shown at midnight screenings. I bought my first few punk albums. The Clash’s Rude Boy, Quadrophenia, and a host of other midnight movies were right around the corner! It was becoming clear that professional athletics was not a career option, so I bought a guitar and, with a friend, began formulating an attack on the status quo.

My brother wanted Double Platinum on cassette for Christmas, and to my dismay, his wish was granted. Continue reading »

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Feb 152007
 

Rodney Anonymous checks in with the following defense of KISS.

5 Reasons Why They Rule and Their Critics Eat Stool

1) Gene Simmons has slept with over 5000 women (Terry Gross included). OK, before you launch into your “So what? [Insert name of under appreciated angst-ridden indeed artist here] made great records with intelligent lyrics and used augmented 9th chords” rant, just take a minute to remember why you picked up a guitar in the first place: Here kitty, kitty, kitty! Do you think Alex Chilton could’ve nailed Cher back when she was worth bragging about nailing? And I’m even gonna give Simmons bonus points for being a Jew!

2) Knights In Satan’s Service. Yeah, I know that KISS really wasn’t an acronym for that. But hey, AC/DC didn’t stand for “Antichrist/Devil Child” and REM wasn’t shorthand for “Rectally Engaged Mumblefest”. The point is that YOUR PARENTS (and nearly every Baptist youth pastor) believed that’s what KISS stood for. They went to bed each night with one eye open out of fear that some track on Love Gun would incite you to patricide. What did mommy and daddy think when you started listening to Belle and Sebastian? “Hmmm…how pleasant. I think we’ll do the den in beige.”

3) “She’s a dancer, a romancer. She’s a Capricorn and I’m a Cancer.” I am, without dispute, America’s greatest living lyricist, and not even I could’ve thought of a line that clever. By singling out a specific zodiac sign, KISS managed to convince approximately 1/12 of the world’s female population that they were singing to them. (See reason #1.)

4) KISS Meets the Phantom. Not only did KISS meet the Phantom, they kicked his ass and the asses of their evil robotic twins. This single act would remain an unparalleled moment in Rock ‘n’ Roll for almost 20 years, until the 1990 Lifetime Network premier of Jesus and Mary Chain Save Christmas.

5) The guys who worked at the gas station liked ‘em. Sure those guys might not have taken the same college prep courses you did, but they didn’t shell out $12.98 for a copy of Lou Reed’s Metal Machine Music either.

Thank you. We will now consider this matter closed. Don’t make me kick your asses.

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Feb 152007
 

Townsman Chickenfrank felt compelled to express a long-held view.

KISS suck and have always sucked. They were the Village People of soft-core heavy metal. Take two parts CATS Broadway musical, one part Vincent Price cheesy horror movie, borrow heavily from Alice Cooper, and mix until flaccid. Voila, KISS. “I Wanna Rock and Roll All Night” is one step above “We Built This City On Rock and Roll” as a fist-raising anthem, and their biggest hit was “Beth”, which has got to be the inspiration for Tufnel’s “Lick My Love Pump”. KISS Army?!?! Bring the troops home!

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