Hey, Mod — I’m starting to grok what you’re getting at with the whole Lou Reed/Prince/Kolchak the Turd-stalker thing. But let’s lay it on the line, real-time and visible for all to see. I propose a showdown — my best Prince bits against your key Reed finds. We’ll let The People sort out who’s the bigger turd-monger. You can see my first salvo above. What’s your boy Lou got up his sleeve?
I look forward to your response,
HVB
Sounds of the Hall in roughly 33 1/3 minutes!
Following last week’s edition of Saturday Night Shut-In, in which Mr. Moderator inadvertently bummed out misterioso, your host aims to please, even attempting the slow process of coming to terms with country music. Enjoy.
[audio:https://www.rocktownhall.com/blogs/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/RTH-Saturday-Night-Shut-In-57.mp3|titles=RTH Saturday Night Shut-In, episode 57][Note: The Rock Town Hall feed will enable you to easily download Saturday Night Shut-In episodes to your digital music player. In fact, you can even set your iTunes to search for an automatic download of each week’s podcast.]
Like my beer league hockey team, RTH needs a youth movement.
Here’s a recent picture of my beer league hockey team in Vancouver. If you look close, you’ll see that many of us are early-40s, while others are 20 years younger.
We didn’t intend for this to happen. Most of us older guys would have been content with seeing other older guys show up once a week. But other older guys had kids, wives, jobs -all things that interfered with showing up to play hockey and, more importantly, drink beer.
So, somehow, a youth movement happened on our team, which has been around since 1987, incidentally. The young kids though make it a pretty fun environment for the rest of us. It’s fun when they fuck up and we mock them. It’s fun to listen to them complain about seemingly trivial life problems, like STDs. And it’s fun to watch the blinding speed of a kid two years out of junior who doesn’t know Bobby Orr from Bobby Hull.
Would Rock Town Hall benefit from a youth movement? You be the judge. Bonus points to the RTHers who can identify NorthVanCoveman in the pic…
I am a bit of a turdhunter. The pursuit of miserably failed works by certain sincerely beloved artists gives me a degree of pleasure and a sense of understanding of the human condition. Lou Reed is the artist whose trail I am as likely to follow for his steaming turds as I am his increasingly spare pearls of street-savvy rock ‘n roll. I’m pretty sure I’ve figured out that my close personal friend Townsman hrrundivbakshi continues to follow his man Prince for the same reason. There’s something to be learned from the corn-studded turds of a particular artist.
Are you or have you ever been a turdhunter? Who’s your prey? What piece of dung by said artist gave you the most meaningful insight?
I am a disgruntled, cranky, increasingly disillusioned rock and roll fan — a man who really wants to believe in the transformative, healing properties of loud, fast music — and as I stare out at today’s pop-musical landscape, I’m filled with despair. I mean, it’s just a vast panorama of shit, from one end to the other. Music targeted at the masses has gotten so awful that it almost literally defies description. (How do you rail against performances that were born and bred inside a machine, as most modern “hits” are today?) “Rock and roll” — at least the kind foisted on the masses by today’s music/multi-media conglomerates — is just as depressing, if for different reasons. “Alternative” is a word that has completely lost all its meaning. And even music that strives to be new, as made by kidz who have never actually heard the old stuff… sounds so much like the old stuff that I find myself retreating further and further into my opium den of ancient, scratchy 45s and — yes, it’s true — 78 RPM records. I’m becoming a dragon robe-wearing high priest in E. Pluribus Gergley’s church of Nothing New Is Worth a Shit. It’s comforting.
People like me are why Henry Rollins seems to exist. He’s full of righteous indignation about the State Of Rock Things. He’s got punk cred answers where the rest of us struggle to articulate our questions. He makes aging hipsters feel all warm and fuzzy inside, as he rails against the awfulness of “the system” while simultaneously hailing the DIY ethos of the kidz and their basement-party rock politics. He’s our Jimmy Hoffa, our Teddy Roosevelt — our Mussolini. He makes our brain trains run on time, makes us feel good to be Rock Germans again.
The question is: is he actually an asshole? I’m really not sure. Do I prefer Hank Rollins the art-poet? The game show host? The rock philosopher? Who is Henry Rollins, anyway? Do you like Henry Rollins? I really want to know.
I look forward to your responses,
HVB
First of all; not that kind of contraction.
What I am talking about here is probably more familiar to fans of professional hockey than the general public.
I am not talking about, “The shortening and thickening of functioning muscle or muscle fiber” (thanks Dictionary.com).
I am talking about “the act of decreasing (something) in size or volume or quantity or scope” (thanks again, boys).
As in The New Jersey Devils, which are the unintended result of hockey failing both in Colorado and Kansas City in the 1970s.
The New Jersey Devil’s, for those not familiar, have won three Stanley Cups since contraction. Three.
Where the hell am I going with this? Glad you asked.
Wouldn’t rock and roll be better served with a little contraction? What if the forces that be determined there were just too many bands. What should be done? Do we really need all these alt-country bands? What if Neko Case sang lead for Wilco with that guy who used to be with Drive by Truckers backing her? Better?
What if all these touring Yacht Rock Revivalists formed just one band: The Dan-Dooby Loggins Band, featuring Michael McDonald. Wouldn’t you want to rock to those smooth jams?
Contract away, Rock Town Hollas…
Rock Town Hall…by the Kidz for the Kidz!
