Last Man Standing: Intra-Band Hook Ups

 Posted by
Jul 142009
 

Townsman cdm raised the possibility of this challenge the other day, and I see no reason why we shouldn’t conduct a Last Man Standing identifying intra-band hook ups.

You know the rules (or if you don’t, nod along as if you knew them all along): submit one answer at a time. Whoever has submitted the last acceptable answer is the Last Man Standing. When all subsequent challenges to the pile have been exhausted, months have passed, and even key players in this game, like Townsman Cherguevarra, cannot top the last answer on record, you may find yourself the official Last Man Standing on this topic, at least until another Townsperson finds the thread and tops you!

Let’s get it on, and let’s kick it off with cdm’s would-have-been trump card, Corin Tucker and Carrie Brownstein from Sleater-Kinney.

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Last Man Standing: The Lazy Lyricist

 Posted by
Jul 122009
 

My number one pet peeve regarding lyrics is when the songwriter “rhymes” a word with the same exact word.

Last night, I was listening to some Junior Brown and I heard the following couplet:

“One of us will have to give, or there’ll be nothing left to say,
So Darlin’ I’ll do anything you say”

Now, I really like Junior Brown but I have to call him out on this. Junior: It’s not a rhyme if it’s the same frigging word. Get a rhyming dictionary if you have to for chrissake, but rhyming “say” with “say” doesn’t count.

I’m looking for more examples of this egregiously lazy technique (or lack thereof).

Please ignore the artistic merits of lyrics and just focus on the “rhyme.”

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Rock’s Most Troubling Looks

 Posted by
Jul 122009
 

When I asked myself which rockers possess rock’s most troubling Look, the first three that came to mind were Phil Lynott, Sam Phillips (of Sun Records), and Tom Petty. I see these cats and want to reach over and show them what they’re doing wrong.

Phil Lynott: Something’s gotta give.

Thin Lizzy’s Phil Lynott has long been dead, but his Look continues to trouble me. Something’s gotta give, be it the part in his Afro, the mustache, or the leather jumpsuits. His issues with Bat Wing Syndrome and his death notwithstanding, Lynott’s the first rocker I’d like to breakdown in front of a miror and recast in a less-sleazy, more powerful presence. Troubling.
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Let’s See You Pipe-Tamp, Brandy-Snift and Leather-Elbow-Patch Your Way Out Of THIS One, Dr. John!

 Posted by
Jul 092009
 

Recently, Mr. Mod asked the assembled multitudes of RTH to choose between:

– ALL of Michael Jackson’s solo output EXCEPT for his four best songs

…and

– Pat Benatar’s two best “hits”

Now, like the Velvet Foghorn, I actually *like* at least one Pat Benatar song. But I posited to the group that — even if I found Pat Benatar’s entire solo ouvre completely without merit — the choice between listening to TWO songs I hated and having to listen to 70 or 80 godawful MJ non-hits was an easy one to make. I just chose the path that required me to listen to less crap. On a quantitative basis, I mean.

Well, Dr. John wasn’t convinced. Or maybe I didn’t make my point clear enough with my elephant dung vs. dog shit metaphor. That’s okay. I’m prepared to meet the good doctor on his own preferred field of battle, and furnish him with a non-top-four MJ single that I believe he’ll concede would be far more painful to endure than a Pat Benatar hit. I’m prepared to leave aside the fact that — according to Mod’s Big Choice Poll question — Dr. John would have to listen to not just this one MJ song, but literally 70 or 80 more that are not much better, rather than listen to *only* “Hit Me With Your Best Shot” and, say, “Heartbreaker.”

So how about it, Dr. John? Can you explain to me why this song is better than “Hit Me With Your Best Shot”?

I look forward to your response.

HVB

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Get Out Your Blue Books: Creative Rock Mythology 101

 Posted by
Jul 062009
 

Townsman Chickenfrank‘s excellent coulda-woulda-shoulda enhancement of the BTO/pizza guy myth has me thinking there are more interesting Rock tales yet to be told — and I’m betting YOU have the creative writing talent to tell them! The general idea is simple: find a noteworthy sound or sight from Rock history and explain it in a sensational fashion that virtually guarantees the Internet will pick it up and run with it. Actual, true stories are discouraged. References to BTO and pizza gain you extra points.

Here are a few sights and sounds that could use more interesting explanations. You may also, of course, furnish your own:

1. Paul McCartney‘s bare feet on the Abbey Road cover
2. The distorted guitar in “You Really Got Me”
3. The false start in The Clash‘s “Wrong ‘Em Boyo”
4. What Led Zeppelin were *really* doing with that fish and that groupie in Seattle
5. Why “Cocksucker Blues” was never released — i.e., the stuff nobody has ever seen

I look forward to your responses.

HVB

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