Here in the Hallowed Halls of Rock, we tend to be bit snobbish about our music. Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on your perspective), at times this highly developed musical and cultural acumen manifests in rock criticism that ranges from critical downgrades to lambasting to general snarkiness. But I am also aware that we at Rock Town Hall are a talented bunch: among us are musicians, lyricists, humorists, writers, fashionistas, and general pundits. In the spirit of healing, love, and showoffingness I believe that the readers of this site are able to improve on some of the lesser developed music that our tender ears have had to experience. It is time to help some of those less fortunate and ultimately help ourselves.

Below are portions from three songs that most of you will recognize. Your job, in Rocklibs style, is to replace (ie, improve) one or more words in each line. The replacements must reflect the same number of syllables and make grammatical sense. Extra points to you if you are able to change the entire tone or style of the song through your choices. For example, you could zombify it, urbanize it, or have the song (somehow) reflect the Rock ‘n Roll dream.

There is a Rock Town Hall prize awarded for the best effort, as judged by our fine splitter of hairs, Mr. Moderator. Ready, set, go!

Song 1:
On a dark desert highway, cool wind in my hair
Warm smell of colitis, rising up through the air
Up ahead in the distance, I saw a shimmering light
My head grew heavy and my sight grew dim
I had to stop for the night.
There she stood in the doorway;
I heard the mission bell
And I was thinking to myself,
This could be Heaven or this could be Hell.”
Then she lit up a candle and she showed me the way.
There were voices down the corridor,
I thought I heard them say…